Has anyone started over in their late 30s

[dudebl]

I am 36, unemployed, for three years due to burnout and depression, I have nothing to my name. I used to have a six figure job I quit due to the burnout and depression.

Has anyone successfully pulled themselves out of this at this age and prospered - or am I a lost cause?

 

[verminnnn]

i can say with complete conviction that you can, absolutely, pull yourself out of it. what do you want to be doing? why aren't you doing it? you can do whatever you want whenever you want all the time forever. it's your life

 

[Dejected 55]

I quit due to burnout and depression when I was 33. I gave up on pretty much everything except a side business I had at the time that made enough to pay the bills. The economy crashed in 2008 and I lost all my customers, then my savings, then my house. I had to live with my father until he passed away then lived with my sister for a while until I was 50 and I got a fresh start at a new good-paying job. I moved to another state, lived with a friend for a while to save money, then bought a house almost 3 years ago.

The bottom fell out when I lost my job and my last chance at finding love, essentially on the same day, though I didn't know for sure about the lost love for a bit longer... and I became more depressed than I ever have in my life.

I'm 55 now and planning my death soon. So, on the one hand it is possible to rebuild and start over from your age. On the other hand, if what happened to me happens in your 50s... it's almost impossible to start over again, I don't want to start over again, and I strongly regret that I didn't take my life back in my 30s before I felt as badly as I do right now.

 

[CantTurnBack]

Before turning 30 I believed that my deepest desire was to be gone before reaching this age. However, I did reach this age and life continued anyway. I chose to get sober, paid a fertility clinic, and focused on my mental/physical health to the best of my ability.

I'm still struggling a lot, and can't really see the purpose or meaning in continuing my life this way, but it does continue nevertheless. I have a psychiatric intake scheduled for the end of this month, and will continue trying my best to find a reason worth suffering in the meantime.

I hope to eventually pursue an education in Psychology, and perhaps a career as a licensed professional as well. If there is no satisfaction in living for myself then perhaps I will find it in the pursuit of helping others. I'm enduring my misery in search of a greater cause than myself; for my mom, for my cat, and for everyone or everything I ever loved.

 

[avalokitesvara]

I'm 34 and at basically square one. I have some degrees, some experiences, but no "life" to show for my 16 years of adult life. I don't have any regrets, but equally I'm not really sure what happens now. Being suicidal has absorbed so much of me. I don't really want anything other than to be quiet, at peace, and comfortable. I hope it's possible to wiggle my way into a life that feels like that. I don't think it is too late for me or for you. Good luck.

 

[westerly_merlin]

I was 39 and quit a well paid city job because it was too toxic and a marriage because it was emotionally abusive. The combination of the two caused me to contemplate playing with a tube train - fact, if you spend too long on a station platform at the end where the train comes out the tunnel at speed, a member of staff comes over for a chat

I quit the job (and marriage) and thought I had reinvented myself, I even met someone new and we had a child together. However after a couple of years things started going a similar way and I have learned that you can't run away from yourself.

Now I am 57, on my third long term relationship that I have started to screw up and I am the same person I was at 39.

Not sure what my next move is, I have tried to CTB recently but the SI kicked in.

Maybe I should buy a boat and sail off into the sunset, but there again who am I kidding, if I sail off then I will still be the same boy running away from myself.

so maybe you can start over, but all I did was repeat my same mistakes with similar partners like a rerun of a soap opera.

 

[dudebl]

I'm 34 and at basically square one. I have some degrees, some experiences, but no "life" to show for my 16 years of adult life. I don't have any regrets, but equally I'm not really sure what happens now. Being suicidal has absorbed so much of me. I don't really want anything other than to be quiet, at peace, and comfortable. I hope it's possible to wiggle my way into a life that feels like that. I don't think it is too late for me or for you. Good luck.

I hear you on suicide consuming you, I go between "I'm going into the garage and switching the generator on the next chance I get" to "I can make it" over and over daily. The first option is usually the one winning.

 

[Off_Switch]

Someone like you, that has 6-figged before, probably could. Just don't wait until 40 for damn sure. That's when it's gets impossible.

 

[The_Hunter]

I'm 34 and at basically square one. I have some degrees, some experiences, but no "life" to show for my 16 years of adult life. I don't have any regrets, but equally I'm not really sure what happens now. Being suicidal has absorbed so much of me. I don't really want anything other than to be quiet, at peace, and comfortable. I hope it's possible to wiggle my way into a life that feels like that. I don't think it is too late for me or for you. Good luck.

Thank you so much for this message, Avalo; I feel it very helpful, and enlightened. Perhaps we really don't need to be "perpetually auditioning for the role of 'best human'", but we merely wish for some sweetness, peace, and comfort in life; of which the achievement of is not so far fetched. Simple notions like this digest sweetly and deeply into the mind—it's so easy to lose one's self in complex ideas and be spelunking down the rabbit hole, but, direct notions such as this, are such a balm to the everyday intrications of this life as well. I too, hope to wiggle into a good life such as that. Best of luck and wishes to both of us in that. :)

 

[theboy]

Age doesn't matter

 

[ForestGhost]

If you had the grit/talent to land a six figure job before, I imagine that it's very possible. Might require working some connections if you still have any or taking smaller steps to eventually build up to that level again, but I have seen it done by people much older than you. Wish you all the best

 

[Dejected 55]

Age doesn't matter

That's a nice sentiment... but society doesn't feel that way. The older you are the less companies want to hire you. Older people cost more because of their experience, they also cost more in health benefits and potential risk, older people also have less time to work so you're not getting an employee who will be with you for the long run.

An older CEO can be an older CEO somewhere else, but there aren't a lot of jobs like that going around. The majority of jobs are mostly given to younger workers that they can pay less and get more work out of them over time.

 

[Aiyuxiao]

As someone in their 30's who lost their job, passions/hobbies, friendships, etc. and piled in thousands of dollars in debt because of chronic illness, disability, and chronic pain 24/7, I think you have a chance if you still have your health and mobility. That's just me though o:

 

[Trazyn]

When I was your age, I went back to university. The university I went to pulled a bait and switch on us and for our third year we would have had to travel to a campus in another city. So all of us ended up with either a two year degree or switching to a different university for our third year. I did the later and although I managed to get a BSC in 1 year, I also badly damaged my health and a relationship that really mattered. Since then things have been up and down. Mainly down and the desire to CTB has been almost constant. I can see a possible path that might have lead to things improving and a life that would be worth living, had events gone differently. So I do think it's possible to start over and have a better life.

Before turning 30 I believed that my deepest desire was to be gone before reaching this age. However, I did reach this age and life continued anyway. I chose to get sober, paid a fertility clinic, and focused on my mental/physical health to the best of my ability.

I'm still struggling a lot, and can't really see the purpose or meaning in continuing my life this way, but it does continue nevertheless. I have a psychiatric intake scheduled for the end of this month, and will continue trying my best to find a reason worth suffering in the meantime.

I hope to eventually pursue an education in Psychology, and perhaps a career as a licensed professional as well. If there is no satisfaction in living for myself then perhaps I will find it in the pursuit of helping others. I'm enduring my misery in search of a greater cause than myself; for my mom, for my cat, and for everyone or everything I ever loved.

That all sounds very familiar. I'm also struggling and see no reason to live for myself. Also have an assessment for support towards the end of the month and like you I really want to move in to a psychology career. About the only thing that I care about or gives me any kind of joy is being able to support other people. I work in a health related field already and I've had several patients who I've ended up talking to about mental health issues (I work in dermatology/oncology) that have said that I would make a great therapist. I just don't know if I can overcome the practical barriers (funding and time for study being the main two), though I do at least have some places to start in that I could probably move to a mental health team in my current job and I am hoping to start volunteer work soon.

I really hope things work out for both of us - maybe heling other people heal will help us heal ourselves.

 

[Skallagrim]

Yes I have. I managed to get back to something of a life after hitting rock bottom (I was in my mid 30s).

I never made a six figure salary in my life, and spent most of it up until that point at a low ebb, and the anxiety and depression returns from time to time. But a reset at your age is a possibility.