toofargone6969

toofargone6969

Wandering
Apr 29, 2023
325
Has anyone here had any success with Transcranial magnetic stimulation?

I'm going to do accelerated TMS (5 day treatment) on a brainsway machine for severe depression, severe anxiety, and severe body dysmorphia, and chronic severe insomnia. I've already failed many antidepressants and I failed ketamine infusions, in fact ketamine made me worse :(

I'm very scared to even leave the house so going to get the treatment will be extremely hard on me and very stressful. I decided to do it for my families sake. If it doesn't work for me I think I will go through with the SN protocol. I really want my old life and old self back but I think she is gone for good.

My family and partner think I can get better and TMS is the answer but I've gotten progressively worse the last few months and I'm very scared this will be another dead end.

Has anyone here been saved by TMS or had it help at all?
 
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Sweet Tart

Sweet Tart

Arcanist
May 10, 2023
452
I would also like to know, and hope someone responds with info! My psych NP is referring me to a consultation to decide on either TMS or ketamine, since antidepressants aren't working for me, either.

Very brave of you to go thru with TMS despite your anxiety about leaving the house. Would someone be able to give you a ride, or help in any way that could make it less anxiety-provoking?
 
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toofargone6969

toofargone6969

Wandering
Apr 29, 2023
325
I would also like to know, and hope someone responds with info! My psych NP is referring me to a consultation to decide on either TMS or ketamine, since antidepressants aren't working for me, either.

Very brave of you to go thru with TMS despite your anxiety about leaving the house. Would someone be able to give you a ride, or help in any way that could make it less anxiety-provoking?
I was very hopeful about ketamine but it may not have worked for me because of my cannabis addiction. I'm not sure. I only did one infusion and couldn't bring myself to do more. If you go that route try to find a really good clinic that knows what they're doing. I hope one of those options works for you.

Thank you. I'm terrified to be around people outside my home or have the machine touch my face and head (part of my BDD).
My parents are going with me and will be with me the whole time thankfully. I'm lucky to have their support, I think I would be dead already without them.
It's just frightening because I have to be at the TMS clinic all day for 5 days in a row and stay in a strange place since it's far away from my home. I am so scared.
 
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NoLightRemains

NoLightRemains

I found my light again. Namu Amida Butsu
Sep 26, 2021
374
I've never done TMS, but like you I also didn't have much luck with ketamine infusions. I got some short term benefits but nothing long lasting.

You are very brave for pursuing these treatment options, it sounds like you have a lot of loving support around you. I hope it goes well for you. :heart:
 
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toofargone6969

toofargone6969

Wandering
Apr 29, 2023
325
I've never done TMS, but like you I also didn't have much luck with ketamine infusions. I got some short term benefits but nothing long lasting.

You are very brave for pursuing these treatment options, it sounds like you have a lot of loving support around you. I hope it goes well for you. :heart:
Thank you so much. I hope so too.

I'm sorry ketamine didn't work long term for you, that's a bummer.
 
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The Eeyorish One

The Eeyorish One

Member
Oct 9, 2022
98
I was recommended TMS as well (though I had forgotten what it was called) but my insurance wouldn't cover it so I never went. My psych had great things to say about it but I don't know anyone who's had the treatment.

I'd definitely encourage giving it a try, though I know it's hard with anxiety and everything else. Maybe someone can go with you to the treatments? Perhaps wear comfortable clothes to the appointment (for me wearing a hoodie helps me feel safe and lessen my dysphoria, not the same as dysmorphia but still…)?

I know it'll suck if it winds up not working but it is your life we're talking about… I think it's worth giving everything feasible a shot to try and get better. Imo I don't think anything will ever completely cure you of depression and whatnot but I hope something can help you enough to get back on track. Besides tms all I know that works for at least some people is meds, therapy and shrooms. Obviously the old classics of do some yoga, exercise, meditate, repeat affirmations, etc can maybe help too but they definitely aren't cures and may be too difficult to do if you're in a bad enough place.

Anyways, good luck, I'd definitely be interested to hear if the tms works for you!
 
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whatevs

whatevs

Mining for copium in the weirdest places.
Jan 15, 2022
2,914
I haven't tried but I have a clinic nearby where I can sink some of the money I earned. They say it helps with sleep disorder patients. I'm interested on updates regarding this.

EDIT: Actually, fuck it, I'm gonna get in touch with them. I will update this thread and if I don't please remind me.
 
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Sweet Tart

Sweet Tart

Arcanist
May 10, 2023
452
I was very hopeful about ketamine but it may not have worked for me because of my cannabis addiction. I'm not sure. I only did one infusion and couldn't bring myself to do more. If you go that route try to find a really good clinic that knows what they're doing. I hope one of those options works for you.

Thank you. I'm terrified to be around people outside my home or have the machine touch my face and head (part of my BDD).
My parents are going with me and will be with me the whole time thankfully. I'm lucky to have their support, I think I would be dead already without them.
It's just frightening because I have to be at the TMS clinic all day for 5 days in a row and stay in a strange place since it's far away from my home. I am so scared.
You're very brave for planning to give it a go despite the anxiety. I hope that the place you stay at is okay and that the treatment gives you relief. Your parents sound like kind people.

I used ketamine and shrooms recreationally when I was younger and it's interesting they are being used as therapies today. I'm curious but a bit skeptical that a micro dose will have much of an effect on me. Still, they were positive experiences in the past, so I wouldn't rule anything out. If this doc who's supposed to set up a consultation ever calls me, I will try to be brave and be open to TMS, too.
 
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toofargone6969

toofargone6969

Wandering
Apr 29, 2023
325
I was recommended TMS as well (though I had forgotten what it was called) but my insurance wouldn't cover it so I never went. My psych had great things to say about it but I don't know anyone who's had the treatment.

I'd definitely encourage giving it a try, though I know it's hard with anxiety and everything else. Maybe someone can go with you to the treatments? Perhaps wear comfortable clothes to the appointment (for me wearing a hoodie helps me feel safe and lessen my dysphoria, not the same as dysmorphia but still…)?

I know it'll suck if it winds up not working but it is your life we're talking about… I think it's worth giving everything feasible a shot to try and get better. Imo I don't think anything will ever completely cure you of depression and whatnot but I hope something can help you enough to get back on track. Besides tms all I know that works for at least some people is meds, therapy and shrooms. Obviously the old classics of do some yoga, exercise, meditate, repeat affirmations, etc can maybe help too but they definitely aren't cures and may be too difficult to do if you're in a bad enough place.

Anyways, good luck, I'd definitely be interested to hear if the tms works for you!
Thank you for the kind words. I'm all scheduled to get the treatment and each day it gets closer I get more and more anxious. Wearing a hoodie is a good idea, I'll try that.

I agree, I think its worth a shot. I had a good life before despite having depression and anxiety and I hope I can get back there. I don't want to die. Meds and therapy haven't helped me at all and I think the benzo I'm on for sleep has made me worse but now I'm stuck on it.

I will definitely update you all on the TMS and if it works or not. They claim that 80% of people go into remission so I have high hopes. I'll be crushed if it doesn't work.
You're very brave for planning to give it a go despite the anxiety. I hope that the place you stay at is okay and that the treatment gives you relief. Your parents sound like kind people.

I used ketamine and shrooms recreationally when I was younger and it's interesting they are being used as therapies today. I'm curious but a bit skeptical that a micro dose will have much of an effect on me. Still, they were positive experiences in the past, so I wouldn't rule anything out. If this doc who's supposed to set up a consultation ever calls me, I will try to be brave and be open to TMS, too.
Thank you so much. It is a huge act of bravery for me and will probably be the hardest thing I've ever done given my current state.

Microdosing shrooms could definitely be worth looking into. I tried it a few times and was planning to make it a regular thing before everything fell apart in my brain. When I tried it I felt very present and connected to the moment and appreciative of life.

TMS is supposed to have little to no risk of side effects unlike meds and drugs. Theres also many forms of TMS now. The accelerated version I'm getting is a newer thing but supposedly more effective especially for severely suicidal people.
 
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stilhavinightmares

stilhavinightmares

Warlock
Oct 13, 2022
735
I'm doing TMS 3x a week right now; I'm about 15 sessions in. I personally don't really like it and most of the time it feels like it's doing absolutely nothing. However, I've noticed very gradual and very small improvements in my depression. BUT… I'm currently taking a little break because I'm suspicious it's caused my current insomnia/anxiety/agitation. Will see.
 
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toofargone6969

toofargone6969

Wandering
Apr 29, 2023
325
I'm doing TMS 3x a week right now; I'm about 15 sessions in. I personally don't really like it and most of the time it feels like it's doing absolutely nothing. However, I've noticed very gradual and very small improvements in my depression. BUT… I'm currently taking a little break because I'm suspicious it's caused my current insomnia/anxiety/agitation. Will see.
What machine are you using?
I'm glad it helped a little. I've heard traditional rTMS can heighten anxiety and insomnia.
I'm praying that doesn't happen for me because I'm getting a different kind of TMS that supposedly will treat my anxiety and BDD and insomnia too. It's such a crapshoot.
 
stilhavinightmares

stilhavinightmares

Warlock
Oct 13, 2022
735
What machine are you using?
I'm glad it helped a little. I've heard traditional rTMS can heighten anxiety and insomnia.
I'm praying that doesn't happen for me because I'm getting a different kind of TMS that supposedly will treat my anxiety and BDD and insomnia too. It's such a crapshoot.
I can't remember what machine it is tbh. I am doing traditional though, that's so validating! All over the internet I see people who have had increased anxiety from TMS but the providers I talk to in my life are like "no, never seen that". Like how?

I heard that doing it on the right side helps with anxiety while the left helps with depression. I think it's off label to do it on the right side for anxiety though so not everyone offers that. Clearly my place doesn't. 🙄
 
toofargone6969

toofargone6969

Wandering
Apr 29, 2023
325
I can't remember what machine it is tbh. I am doing traditional though, that's so validating! All over the internet I see people who have had increased anxiety from TMS but the providers I talk to in my life are like "no, never seen that". Like how?

I heard that doing it on the right side helps with anxiety while the left helps with depression. I think it's off label to do it on the right side for anxiety though so not everyone offers that. Clearly my place doesn't. 🙄
I know, I'm so sick of doctors and providers not believing side effects or people's experiences just because it's not documented in a stupid fucking research study. They can't fathom it.

The brainsway device is fda approved for anxiety and OCD not just depression. They claim it's the best machine for "anxious depression" which is why I decided on that machine over the others like magventure or neurostar. It goes deeper and covers a broader area. If you can find a place that has one maybe that would be better for you. I get my treatment soon and will update everyone here what happens with my symptoms. Fingers crossed it saves my damn life.
 
stilhavinightmares

stilhavinightmares

Warlock
Oct 13, 2022
735
I know, I'm so sick of doctors and providers not believing side effects or people's experiences just because it's not documented in a stupid fucking research study. They can't fathom it.

The brainsway device is fda approved for anxiety and OCD not just depression. They claim it's the best machine for "anxious depression" which is why I decided on that machine over the others like magventure or neurostar. It goes deeper and covers a broader area. If you can find a place that has one maybe that would be better for you. I get my treatment soon and will update everyone here what happens with my symptoms. Fingers crossed it saves my damn life.
Oh wow… I had no idea there was a difference in machines. Thank you so much for this info. Wishing you the best!!! Will look forward to updates. You got this.
 
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toofargone6969

toofargone6969

Wandering
Apr 29, 2023
325
Update:

I got back from the treatment a few days ago.
Unfortunately I have noticed no changes, like at all, and it is so utterly disappointing and hopeless after being told I would likely achieve major relief or even remission of my diseases. I feel empty. More hopeless than ever. So devastated. I don't know where to go from here and I'm just... fucking devastated.

Most people (or so they say) have at least some sort of response to accelerated TMS but of course I didnt. It was extremely stressful and hard to have the treatment done and it was painful at times and honestly completely humiliating for me. I endured all that for nothing. I don't feel there's any options left for me and I just want my suffering to end. I'm still only getting a few hours of sleep per night despite being on benzos and my physical/mental issues have progressed so quickly. My family has so much hope for my recovery despite my rapid deterioration and nothing working. I know they will be devastated and never heal if I CTB but I see no way out of this, no path back to my old life, which wasn't perfect but was so so good compared to this. I have no hope left.

But I would still recommend people try TMS since it supposedly helps so many and unlike medication won't ruin your life further.
 
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A

aGoodDayToDie

Arcanist
Jun 30, 2023
460
Update:

I got back from the treatment a few days ago.
Unfortunately I have noticed no changes, like at all, and it is so utterly disappointing and hopeless after being told I would likely achieve major relief or even remission of my diseases. I feel empty. More hopeless than ever. So devastated. I don't know where to go from here and I'm just... fucking devastated.

Most people (or so they say) have at least some sort of response to accelerated TMS but of course I didnt. It was extremely stressful and hard to have the treatment done and it was painful at times and honestly completely humiliating for me. I endured all that for nothing. I don't feel there's any options left for me and I just want my suffering to end. I'm still only getting a few hours of sleep per night despite being on benzos and my physical/mental issues have progressed so quickly. My family has so much hope for my recovery despite my rapid deterioration and nothing working. I know they will be devastated and never heal if I CTB but I see no way out of this, no path back to my old life, which wasn't perfect but was so so good compared to this. I have no hope left.

But I would still recommend people try TMS since it supposedly helps so many and unlike medication won't ruin your life further.
How many treatments have you had? Have you had the full course? I heard it can help around 50% of people who use it
 
toofargone6969

toofargone6969

Wandering
Apr 29, 2023
325
How many treatments have you had? Have you had the full course? I heard it can help around 50% of people who use it
I had 50 treatments over the course of 5 days. It's the accelerated version of TMS and supposed to be even more effective with a higher remission rate. I did the full course and no result:( just devastated beyond belief.
 
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no.factory.farms

Member
Dec 21, 2022
29
@toofargone6969 I am sorry you had such a disappointing experience :( Did it cost you a lot? Hopefully not.

The double-blind TMS experiments are not promising. Also, TMS uses a magnet, and nothing in the brain is magnetic. It just doesn't make sense. One psychiatrist tried really hard to get me to do it even though it would've cost me thousands of dollars. He was so pushy.
 
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L

LittleJem

Visionary
Jul 3, 2019
2,600
I am so sorry.

It is my opinion they over sell it and only share the most positive research. I had it and it helped me for three days out of thirty sessions. The private clinics give you the most promising research…but they don't track their patients.

I personally wonder if modern ECT is much better.

I wish you (and all of us) could catch a break.
I wouldn't want to put anyone off trying it. But I am dubious about the hype.
ps @toofargone6969 it sounds like shrooms are good for you…
 
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lachrymost

lachrymost

finger on the eject button
Oct 4, 2022
344
So, so sorry. It is devastating enough to fail a treatment, let alone one that is so painful to endure. It's ridiculous that they can't even say, "Don't worry. If you fail the treatment, we'll respect that and arrange an assisted death. We care about and respect your suffering." Instead you're left to rot. It's so unbelievable.

But I would still recommend people try TMS since it supposedly helps so many and unlike medication won't ruin your life further.

Sorry to be this guy, but I'm genuinely concerned TMS can ruin your life further, or else I probably would have tried it by now. :/

I really wish these interventions were as safe as they want us to think.
 
toofargone6969

toofargone6969

Wandering
Apr 29, 2023
325
@toofargone6969 I am sorry you had such a disappointing experience :( Did it cost you a lot? Hopefully not.

The double-blind TMS experiments are not promising. Also, TMS uses a magnet, and nothing in the brain is magnetic. It just doesn't make sense. One psychiatrist tried really hard to get me to do it even though it would've cost me thousands of dollars. He was so pushy.
It was really fucking expensive, my parents paid for it which of course is humiliating and makes me feel so guilty for it not working. They are devastated as well and haven't given up on me yet.

I'm not sure how it works exactly but I basically had a version of the Saint protocol which is a newer thing. The research seemed really really promising. It does activate your brain though, the electromagnetic pulses activate your nerve cells in the brain. Supposedly stimulates neuroplasticity and wakes up the part of brain that is not active when you have severe depression.

If its accessible to people through insurance or if you can afford it I still think it's worth a shot. The chance it could make your life worth living is worth it. I want to die but more than that I want my old self and old life back, this could've been a path there but not anymore sadly.
So, so sorry. It is devastating enough to fail a treatment, let alone one that is so painful to endure. It's ridiculous that they can't even say, "Don't worry. If you fail the treatment, we'll respect that and arrange an assisted death. We care about and respect your suffering." Instead you're left to rot. It's so unbelievable.



Sorry to be this guy, but I'm genuinely concerned TMS can ruin your life further, or else I probably would have tried it by now. :/

I really wish these interventions were as safe as they want us to think.
Yeah I've seen that site too. Not sure what to make of it. Its really hard to know what symptoms and side effects are from what since so many things happen to us and are constantly shifting. I had a very intense version done and am incredibly sensitive to side effects of things. All I noticed was mild headaches (gone now) and a temporary worsening of my tinnitus which I expected both. I don't seem to have any lasting damage. I do think psych meds are far worse and dangerous in terms of side effects
I am so sorry.

It is my opinion they over sell it and only share the most positive research. I had it and it helped me for three days out of thirty sessions. The private clinics give you the most promising research…but they don't track their patients.

I personally wonder if modern ECT is much better.

I wish you (and all of us) could catch a break.
I wouldn't want to put anyone off trying it. But I am dubious about the hype.
ps @toofargone6969 it sounds like shrooms are good for you…
I'm too scared to try ECT and my family won't let me anyways. I was dubious about the hype too but very hopeful.
I may try shrooms again but with my current state of mind, sleep deprivation, and being on benzos I dont know how it would affect me. I need a fucking miracle.
 
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no.factory.farms

Member
Dec 21, 2022
29
So, so sorry. It is devastating enough to fail a treatment, let alone one that is so painful to endure. It's ridiculous that they can't even say, "Don't worry. If you fail the treatment, we'll respect that and arrange an assisted death. We care about and respect your suffering." Instead you're left to rot. It's so unbelievable.



Sorry to be this guy, but I'm genuinely concerned TMS can ruin your life further, or else I probably would have tried it by now. :/

I really wish these interventions were as safe as they want us to think.
That is a fantastic article. Thank you for linking it. Unfortunately, many of these "peer-reviewed scientific studies" are not to be trusted.
 
toofargone6969

toofargone6969

Wandering
Apr 29, 2023
325
Update again:

Idk why and I'm trying not to make too much of it but I oddly am starting to feel a bit better? They did say you can respond late sometimes days or weeks after treatment. Yesterday I noticed my anxiety/panic settled a lot and I dont feel nearly as hopeless. I'm feeling much less suicidal and dark. But I'm trying not to read too much into it or get my hopes up. My sleep still hasn't improved but I feel slightly motivated to work towards improving things that may help that like starting to exercise again and not be on my phone all hours of the day doing nothing. I have a bit of hope but I'm still so scared.
 
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no.factory.farms

Member
Dec 21, 2022
29
How are you now?
 
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toofargone6969

toofargone6969

Wandering
Apr 29, 2023
325
How are you now?
Thank you for asking. I still have some improvement in the suicidal thoughts but my anxiety and sleep are not improved at all. I'm still really really struggling. It's a huge bummer. I'm trying zoloft now but have little hope since I dont respond well to meds.
I think my anxiety is much worse than my depression and the tms was supposed to treat both so I really am bummed it didnt give me significant improvement. My sleep is the worst part of my illnesses. I was told my sleep would improve and it has not one bit.

But I would still recommend people to try TMS if its available to them. It can work it just didnt work very well for me.
 

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