Discussion Has anyone had a rational honest discussion with their parents about their upcoming suicide?

[Passersby]

Just wandering how many people have talked with there parents and been upfront with them about ctb? If so how did it go? Do they understand? Do they even listen or take you seriously. This is a crappy situation to be in but it's the one that I am in and it really sucks. I have told mine all about it and have told them that I now have 2 methods I am debating on that should give me a peaceful death. For me there is no other way. I am torchured day and night by my body and mind. They know what I have wrong and I have explained it to them but unfortunately they do not support me in ctb. I guess they think that it's not that bad and I will just go on existing and living a terrible life of suffering. I just can't do it anymore. I have done my best to try to prepare them and that's all i can do. I have $ for my funeral and am also giving them money. I have to ctb soon. I'm am tired of suffering and continuing to live this life. Scared of the future because I know how it will be and it's meaningless.

 

[Are you lost too?]

This is such a difficult matter. I try not to think about it too much, because my parents are gonna be devastated when I ctb. And they were very good and loving parents. of course they have made their set of mistakes, but all parents do. It's sad when we find out they're not perfect as we imagined .

as We don't have kids, we can't understand the love a parent feels for a child.

I think it is very difficult that An honest conversation with parents about this ends well. I don't think they understand our suffering and how much we would rather it stopped.

also I think it's very selfish how they think loving you and all that is supposed to make you want to stay. There is no way to find meaning in your life again because of others. Apart from the physical pain.

I'm not sure if what I said was of any help.., but this is also such a difficult matter ! If wasnt .... Just know I listened and I care :)

Aren't they going to keep tabs on you now? Or you think they didn't believe it ?

 

[Passersby]

Hi are you lost too, thanks for caring and responding. Yes this has been so tuff. My situation has been going on now for 5 yrs so it's nothing new. 5 yrs is a long time to fight something in my opinion. They are well aware of my problems because I have explained it to them many times and this has been going on for 5 yrs like I said. I kind of think that they think that I won't actually go through with it. It's not sustainable for me to keep living with what I have going on. That's the reality of the situation. They aren't keeping anymore tabs on me than normal. They know inside that they can't stop me .This is just a terrible situation. I hoped for a long time that there would be a way out. I thought there has to be a way to fix this but unfortunately there wasn't. They know I love them though. I hate the pain that this is going to cause them but it has to be done. I've also though about trying to hold on until they die so that then they wouldn't be here to be upset but that could be like 20 yrs. This suffering is horrible and like I said it's not sustainable much longer for me. I have had all three yrs to really think on this and I have determined that I have to go through with this and I will take my chances with death. Like it said thanks for listening. I am looking at sn or nitrogen and exit bag. Just have to get nitrogen tank still. I have everything else for that one. If I had it right now I might just drive to a hotel and go through with it.
Btw the reason it took so long to type this message is that I am doing it on an iPad. I need a better setup. Just saying

 

[MeltingHeart]

This is very relevant to me just now- basically due to my attempts and state of mind- there is literally no way in the world that I can hide or pretend that I want to proceed with life anymore - I have tried to discuss it rationally- which I guess is a kind of stupid thing to have done- that I thought was ok- because in my mind - it is very rational- but of course like most of the population they do not see it that way- I WISH I had of done my best to conceal how I felt earlier- now it is causing all sorts of problems & will make any plan I have to ctb SO much harder - I'm an idiot for being so open!!

 

[zeroambition]

I've talked to mother about my plans after she passes away. I told her how my preferred method works and my reasons for considering it. She understands and knows she can't do anything about it when she passes away which could be up to 30 years from now. I showed her my self harm scars the other day and explained why I did it.. she was really supportive and I told her I won't do it again.

It's so hard to not fantasize about suicide.. All it takes is seeing someone driving to work, someone younger than me in a relationship or looking at myself in the mirror.

 

[MeltingHeart]

I canr

I've talked to mother about my plans after she passes away. I told her how my preferred method works and my reasons for considering it. She understands and knows she can't do anything about it when she passes away which could be up to 30 years from now. I showed her my self harm scars the other day and explained why I did it.. she was really supportive and I told her I won't do it again.

It's so hard to not fantasize about suicide.. All it takes is seeing someone driving to work, someone younger than me in a relationship or looking at myself in the mirror.

wow - I can't imagine going into to detail about my method- I mean they know what I have tried because they either found out- or they were there- but I can't imagine actually consciously telling that. I guess atleast she can take some consolation that you wanna stay around for her life / 30 years or whatever - so that's good.- and things might also improve for yourself in that time too! You never know. I hope so.

 

[Passersby]

Hi Melting heart , yeah I guess it does cause problems but I just chose to be open about it. I don't think you are an idiot. At least you told them how you feel . For me I guess it's also kind of a way of saying goodby. Damn I so upset right now.! You won't believe hat just happened. I am actually aroundmy parents right now. My mom just confronted me again. I love her to death but she's is pro life all the way. I guess she thinks that we should all suffer to death no matter what. I told her I am very sorry and not trying to be mean but I have to catch the bus. There is no way for her to understand this because she simple cannot push a button and be in my body for a day or week or yr. Then she would understand but that isn't possible. It has ruined our relationship and it's not sustainable. I have to either get better or die soon. I am very upset. She says that she will help take me to this doctor and clinic that is supposed to be the best in world. without explaining everything that I have I know that this will not work. I have already been through all this shit with the doctors and had multiple surgeries. It is over. They will take the money and then say there is nothing to be done. She just doesn't want to face it and neither do I. I told her that assuming I was still alive whenthe time comes to go then I would go but I can't guarantee that I will still be here. Of course she doesn't like this and it causes my distress but I am being honest and that's all I can do. I am tired of suffering.

 

[Thereisalwaysachoice]

My wife actually supports my decision. She wants me to take a life insurance policy out.

 

[MeltingHeart]

My wife actually supports my decision. She wants me to take a life insurance policy out.

Wow- I say wow- just as it seems something of a rarity on here to have someone that supports!

 

[Dreamwithinadream]

Mine know. I'm chronically ill and in constant pain so they understand.

 

[Thereisalwaysachoice]

She will actually benefit f I'm my death honestly. Sounds horrible but I don't want her in trouble. I want her to get something out of it.

 

[Passersby]

It's good to have support. Most people aren't going to be supportive though of this kind of thing. Also I guess I would depend on people's reason for ctb. It is cruel for anyone to force people to live with something that is killing them and they know nothing about. Just like the medical professionals. If you tell them like that something is killing you and you are going to ctb because there is no way to alleviate the issue. They still think that you are crazy and mentally ill. It's crap.

 

[zeroambition]

I canr

wow - I can't imagine going into to detail about my method- I mean they know what I have tried because they either found out- or they were there- but I can't imagine actually consciously telling that. I guess atleast she can take some consolation that you wanna stay around for her life / 30 years or whatever - so that's good.- and things might also improve for yourself in that time too! You never know. I hope so.

I can't see anything improving but you never know.. We have a very strong bond so it's easy to tell her these things.

 

[onlyinsleep]

My parents encourage my suicide and abuse me severely as a disabled adult and no one cares about you as an adult. So...no. Lol. I just have to hang in there long enough to get a settlement left to my ex and sibling. I have discussed it but nobody really cares, to be honest. I wanted ti go tonight...barely hanging on.. But I want them to have their money.

 

[Time]

She will actually benefit f I'm my death honestly. Sounds horrible but I don't want her in trouble. I want her to get something out of it.

Doesn't sound horrible at all to me. Sounds like the best way to handle it.

 

[Darkhaven]

I did.
But my mother will never understand. She says that i'm overreacting and that my situation is not bad enough to ctb.
She also thinks i'm getting crazy and wants me to go see a psychiatrist.

 

[CaptainT]

I had to tell my mother about my 1st attempt with carbon monoxide as I came home groggy and in a mess. She already knew everything about my breakdown but it really shook her up and she's been visibly down since. I've had to make token promises that I won't try again etc. Wish she didn't have to know about the attempt but I was (and still am) worried about the delayed-onset effects of CO poisoning that often appear weeks later, so I had to warn her.

I'd say in general it's not a good idea to tell family or friends as it adds to their guilt if you are successful. My mum will now always be thinking "why didn't I get him more help to stop him doing it again?" etc

 

[Sweet emotion]

My wife actually supports my decision. She wants me to take a life insurance policy out.

Well if you do it soon she's not going to get anything.
If anyone expects me to live the way I'm living with my pain condition they're out of their minds. If you saw the way I lived you'd know that no one would live like this for the rest of their lives

 

[Are you lost too?]

Hi Melting heart , yeah I guess it does cause problems but I just chose to be open about it. I don't think you are an idiot. At least you told them how you feel . For me I guess it's also kind of a way of saying goodby. Damn I so upset right now.! You won't believe hat just happened. I am actually aroundmy parents right now. My mom just confronted me again. I love her to death but she's is pro life all the way. I guess she thinks that we should all suffer to death no matter what. I told her I am very sorry and not trying to be mean but I have to catch the bus. There is no way for her to understand this because she simple cannot push a button and be in my body for a day or week or yr. Then she would understand but that isn't possible. It has ruined our relationship and it's not sustainable. I have to either get better or die soon. I am very upset. She says that she will help take me to this doctor and clinic that is supposed to be the best in world. without explaining everything that I have I know that this will not work. I have already been through all this shit with the doctors and had multiple surgeries. It is over. They will take the money and then say there is nothing to be done. She just doesn't want to face it and neither do I. I told her that assuming I was still alive whenthe time comes to go then I would go but I can't guarantee that I will still be here. Of course she doesn't like this and it causes my distress but I am being honest and that's all I can do. I am tired of suffering.

I'm really sorry this happened deadhead Frank.I'm also sorry you're in so much pain :(
I hope there are no more "confrontations" like that with your parents ... I totally get u wanting to be honest, but they don't take hearing this things well at all.... at least mine don't. So they don't ask and I try to appear ok, so they don't keep tabs on me and I can go on with the plan.