Discussion Has anyone had a positive experience of hospitalisation?

[bpdteacher]

Hi all,

I've reached a point where I'm constantly thinking about suicide and it's becoming more and more likely. However, I don't want to want to die, if that makes sense. For one thing I have a four year old daughter and I want her to have a good life. I appreciate having a dead mum isn't ideal.

To that end, I'm starting to feel like I'd be safer in hospital as I've been making plans etc., however I've become disillusioned with mental health services here (UK). I've always been very open and honest about my thoughts, feelings and intentions with all professionals and it hasn't helped me at all. Literally nothing happens. I don't know what I actually expect to happen but surely 'something' right!?

So...does being in hospital actually help? If I attempt suicide my rationale would be it could be a win/win...I'm either successful, or get the help I need. Unless hospital doesn't help. I just feel like I'm stagnant and awaiting the inevitable at the moment...

Sorry if that makes no sense, or sounds like I'm trivialising 'genuine' attempts, I'm not in a good place mentally right now and know I'm not at my most coherent.

 

[JustLosingMyself]

It doesn't.
It puts your life on hold for a while.
All the stuff you're running away from will be waiting for you with a vengeance when you get out.

 

[WornOutLife]

In my opinion, psych wards, just like therapy, never help.
I have a lot of acquaintances who came out mentally worse than the time they entered the hospital.

 

[DJJE]

The NHS is full of lazy people. One or two work hard. The rest do bare minimum and spend the rest of the time moaning.

 

[sufferingalways]

Hello bpdteacher,
Sorry to hear of your struggles. I'm in the UK as well. I'm not sure if my experienced will be of any help.
I was hospitalised under a Section (2 or 3) back in 1992. At first I was quite manic and the medicine they put me on (Chlorpromazine) made me spaced out and paranoid.
After a few shifts in medicine level they reduced them so that I could actually attend OT (Occupational Therapy).
There were quite a few caring staff on my ward at Bethlem Royal, although they were very busy (likely workloads too heavy). I would say the good outweighed the bad (I can't remember disliking any, come to think of it)
One member of staff would even play pool with us patients. He was a calming person.

I get that you need urgent support but may I ask what outcome you want?
If I can give you any links to helpful organisations eg MIND i would.
( they do free therapy for 8 weeks, though I imagine that would be via Face time or Zoom in this covid 19 climate).

When I hear from you what you need I can try find out what place/s you could contact.
Hoping you can stay a little steady. You are doing well so far, considering that you feel so wretched.

(Hugs) SA

 

[Caspers]

I recently did a poll asking how many users found hospitalisation positive. You may find the information informative. Link

 

[Brokensaddle]

Hi all,

I've reached a point where I'm constantly thinking about suicide and it's becoming more and more likely. However, I don't want to want to die, if that makes sense. For one thing I have a four year old daughter and I want her to have a good life. I appreciate having a dead mum isn't ideal.

To that end, I'm starting to feel like I'd be safer in hospital as I've been making plans etc., however I've become disillusioned with mental health services here (UK). I've always been very open and honest about my thoughts, feelings and intentions with all professionals and it hasn't helped me at all. Literally nothing happens. I don't know what I actually expect to happen but surely 'something' right!?

So...does being in hospital actually help? If I attempt suicide my rationale would be it could be a win/win...I'm either successful, or get the help I need. Unless hospital doesn't help. I just feel like I'm stagnant and awaiting the inevitable at the moment...

Sorry if that makes no sense, or sounds like I'm trivialising 'genuine' attempts, I'm not in a good place mentally right now and know I'm not at my most coherent.

I'm from the uk too and I have been with mental health services since I was 2016. I have never had to spend more then a day in hospital but I do have friends that have. In my experience if you get out on the red zone list and get sectioned and put into inpatients, they will definitely help you manage your suicidal ideation. But hospital are very nosies and busy and have lots of other patients. Things to consider are will you be able to get along with other patients, staff aren't always nice and they may do things to annoy you. Also once you get better they tell you to leave and send of recommendations to your community care team. You community care don't have to follow them so once you do get out and there's a lack of support there's nothing you can do. I know people who have gone into hospital but gotten really better and ended back in hospital. Sometimes if your lucky a charity or Advocay group will step in and help you rise your concerns. I'd recommend you get a councillor or therapist to help you deal with your problems and if things get better and they recommend you go into hospital then follow their advice. Good luck with everything.

 

[bpdteacher]

Hello bpdteacher,
Sorry to hear of your struggles. I'm in the UK as well. I'm not sure if my experienced will be of any help.
I was hospitalised under a Section (2 or 3) back in 1992. At first I was quite manic and the medicine they put me on (Chlorpromazine) made me spaced out and paranoid.
After a few shifts in medicine level they reduced them so that I could actually attend OT (Occupational Therapy).
There were quite a few caring staff on my ward at Bethlem Royal, although they were very busy (likely workloads too heavy). I would say the good outweighed the bad (I can't remember disliking any, come to think of it)
One member of staff would even play pool with us patients. He was a calming person.

I get that you need urgent support but may I ask what outcome you want?
If I can give you any links to helpful organisations eg MIND i would.
( they do free therapy for 8 weeks, though I imagine that would be via Face time or Zoom in this covid 19 climate).

When I hear from you what you need I can try find out what place/s you could contact.
Hoping you can stay a little steady. You are doing well so far, considering that you feel so wretched.

(Hugs) SA

Thank you for all the responses.

I have BPD and struggle with a constant negative narrative, as well as angry and young voices in my head. When they all align, as they do currently, suicide seems the best option.

I want to get rid of or at least be able to cope with the voices and thoughts.

I also want to feel some sort of connection with people. I don't feel the feelings of happiness or love towards others or myself. There's just a numbness there, and a feeling of loss, like an awareness that I'm missing out on the good bits of the human experience but they're out of my reach. It's sad and lonely and I'm tired of fighting for something that seems so unattainable.

I didn't know if hospitalisation would open up access to new treatments or medication they save for 'serious cases.' I appreciate that's probably fantastical thinking, but I've tried everything my GP and mental health team have offered.

I have had a therapist for around two years privately who is amazing I should add, but I'm starting to feel like a burden or a frustration to her as I just go round in circles...

Thanks again :)

 

[Rustysoupcan]

I have no idea what UK hospitals are like. I know here in the states it's very hit or miss. My first hospitalization wasnt good. The last one I had actually did help. I guess ask yourself what a hospital would do for you. Is it a med change? Try an outpatient psychiatrist. Is it coping skills? Try therapy or a partial hospitalization program. A PHP can help if you're too stressed with like work or family or something. If you've been through all that and it's just chronic mental illness that makes you wanna ctb then I say join the club. Sometimes treatment works but for most on this site were here because we've been through it all and are still suicidal

 

[ZardozOmega]

A bit. I met tons of kind and smart people at the hospital. My two roommates were funny and we even had a night when we start singing like crazy. I had a bit of a crush on one of my roommates. he'd walk around shirtless and it was kinda hot lol

 

[BipolarGuy]

The NHS is full of lazy people. One or two work hard. The rest do bare minimum and spend the rest of the time moaning.

This is totally spot on.

 

[sufferingalways]

Thank you for all the responses.

I have BPD and struggle with a constant negative narrative, as well as angry and young voices in my head. When they all align, as they do currently, suicide seems the best option.

I want to get rid of or at least be able to cope with the voices and thoughts.

I also want to feel some sort of connection with people. I don't feel the feelings of happiness or love towards others or myself. There's just a numbness there, and a feeling of loss, like an awareness that I'm missing out on the good bits of the human experience but they're out of my reach. It's sad and lonely and I'm tired of fighting for something that seems so unattainable.

I didn't know if hospitalisation would open up access to new treatments or medication they save for 'serious cases.' I appreciate that's probably fantastical thinking, but I've tried everything my GP and mental health team have offered.

I have had a therapist for around two years privately who is amazing I should add, but I'm starting to feel like a burden or a frustration to her as I just go round in circles...

Thanks again :)

Hi, sorry to hear how those things happen.

1, The numbness you mention, is it due to a bereavement of some kind?

2, Do you feel that a new counsellor might be able to help better? Each has a different perspective and approach after all. You can't access the root of your distress if you feel you're not getting anywhere, amazing though she may be. (Not trying to be unkind regards her, just practical thinking)

3, Regards being tired of fighting would you be able to make any notes on how you feel about the cycle you described? Eg what happens when you try make connections and how you feel on a day to day basis?
Just an idea for you to have something to loo k back on after a month or more. I can get into all or nothing thinking (and I'm not invalidatating how you feel now) but a written account over time might help you see where you can make connections (for example)

Feel free to ignore what's not helpful, but I am just suggesting some things based on how you described feeling numb. I feel like that sometimes when I'm overwhelmed by stressful things, as if my brain says that's it! No more.

Hugs xx

 

[Meretlein]

Anecdotally, most psych ward stories are neutral or negative.

If you want to psych ward yourself, I would investigate private hospitals instead of just going to the ER and being at the mercy of wherever they cart you off to.

 

[iftheworldwasending]

if you do go in, please do research and pick a reputable place with good reviews. the first place i went was okay, there was a lot of meditation and my social worker was AMAZING and the food was great. i really loved the experience to be honest.
not sure i didn't go back there, but the second place i went was hell. everyone was constantly fighting, punching everyone, screaming, beyond stressful, absolute worst time of my life.
i'm here to help if you need!

 

[Deleted member 17949]

I don't have the experience to say but I have not heard many great things about hospitals.

 

[MeriDeath]

Well I remember my time in psychic ward. Back in 2017 I hospitalized myself in an open unit. What can I say, contrary to popular beliefs, it was a cool experience. I had a room with 3 roommates, they were nice, I had a tv, groups every morning, and I found some friends. Heck I even had the mall right down the stairs. 3 meals a day, I know it sounds like a hotel room...I can tell you it was the best time of my life. Away from my parents, free to do whatever and feeling like there is someone taking care of me, emotional and mental support. And I need it, a lot of it. Can't say I'm better but we'll it is what it is I guess.

 

[k75]

If you have access to a partial hospitalization program, I'd recommend giving that a try. You get the benefits of going inpatient like group therapy and prescribers for meds, but you get to go home at the end of the day. I've done PHP several times, and it did help. I've always done that to avoid resorting to the hospital.

 

[JGT]

Please be careful of the medication they give you, they don't give a shit about the side effects!
Merideath, are you serious? I've never spoken to anyone who had the time of their life in hospital?

 

[TheLostCause]

Hi,
I have made previous attempts on my life and failed obviously. I got sectioned under the mental health act on a section 2 after one of my attempts (Im in the UK). I was detained in a mental health hospital and my experience was horrible. I was across the country, i had to spend 30 quid just to get my partner to bring me some clean clothes and underwear. I'm terrified of people, i refused to leave my room and as i had to leave my room to eat in the canteen i starved myself because i refused to go anywhere other than the quick trip out of my room for meds. There was alot of noise from the more rowdy patients, regular alarms going off, alot of banging and shouting from the next room over. I spent almost 2 weeks there, noone noticed me having regular breakdowns or self harming. They released me as i was 'incident' free.
The moment i got out i took an overdose and ended up back in general hospital for a few days then got released home.

 

[262653]

The way I understand it: People who benefit from hospitalization are temporarily very suicidal (like 2-3 weeks for example), who are relatively quickly recover from some traumatic event. With the hospital providing less of a healing and more of a restraint until the person's natural capacity for healing does its job.
I think that mental health system focuses on impulsive suicidals, and not people like me who are not interested in slaving to their biological drives for nothing worthwhile in return.

I was once hospitalized with alcohol poisoning without my consent, I wish I wasn't.

 

[Kruger]

No.

 

[idk who i am]

it helped once actually. they prescribed my antidepressants and it worked but eventually it stopped helping and all other hospitalisations were useless waste of time.

 

[Teardrop2021]

I had a very positive experience in the hospital (US), but I was lucky. I happened to make some really good friends and we actually had a good time together. However, it didn't really help in terms of making things any different when I got out. But it definitely wasn't traumatizing.