Has anyone every eventually reached out for help and made you feel worse and more hopeless

[nicali845]

just wondering what other ppls experiences have been like...

 

[snowcloud9]

Therapy made things better, not worse. Until my therapist found out I attempted suicide and then kept giving me sad pity eyes. Yikes. I've had good ones that did contribute positively, but because of health insurance I don't get to see them anymore.

The suicide hotline is not a great way to reach out for help. They send you messages that I swear are written by a chatbot and take forever to respond.

Forced hospitalization is a whole nother beast than those two though, that really fucks you up. I hated it.

 

[cosifantutti]

Yes. When I asked for a con (community psychiatric nurse). Her surname was Love but I'll always remember her as loveless.

She played mind games, couldn't admit getting an appt time wrong and it was very likely that she messed up my relationship with my psychiatrist. Because he suddenly began being highly unpleasant with me shortly after I asked her to speak to him about something.
Terrible nurse

 

[IUsedToFeelAlive]

just wondering what other ppls experiences have been like...

Yopppp.

I told my psychiatrist once that i was suicidal and that i had made plans and she told me take a higher dose of paroxetine.

But when i told one of my friends once, when i was really desperate, she managed to calm me down somehow and i felt better for a few days.

I think it depends on how much you trust that person.

And sometimes it helps to get it out.

 

[wait.what]

Yeah. I waited almost 72 hours for a psyche bed to open up at a reputable hospital, but no luck. Rather than let my 72 hour hold expire and send me home, the Reputable Hospital transported me via ambulance to an utter hell hole. The Hell Hole Hospital was filthy, patients weren't getting the right meds on the right schedule, and staff verbally abused us, keeping their name tags flipped backward so we couldn't report them.

After that experience, I bought a 12 gauge shotgun with 00 ammunition. That's for blowing my brains out if it ever looks likely I'll get locked up again. I used to be reasonably pro psyche hospital, or at least not anti-hospital. Not anymore. If there are any vacancies within a psyche unit, there are reasons for that, and they're generally not nice ones.

 

[jussrav]

Yes I ask for help but get fobbed off by doctors etc. They wont put me on any meds and keep stopping meds that are helping me and then put me on tablets I dont need . My psychiatrist is ab asshole he is watching me die and is doing nothing

 

[suchaprettygard3n]

there was a time i went missing from my friends on a night out when i was really at a low point. no one could find me for hours, id ended up on an overpass (i really wanted to jump but i couldnt get over the SI). long story short it turned into a whole ordeal, i was found and taken home. my friends were told what went down (not by me) and everyone just kind of acted like nothing happened after that. like no one talked about it. i got a few "hope ur alright" txts but that was about it. whenever i saw them in person after that, everyone just acted like everything was fine. it just made me feel so unimportant. like maybe if i did acc ctb no one would care anyway.

 

[enough of this]

Yes. That happened with me recently. It makes me not want to reach out.

 

[nicali845]

my doctor just drugs me up to the point it seems to me like im too off my head to talk about whats wrong with me anymore even tho they are brilliant...they prescribe me antipsychotics to sleep lol surely if im suicidal n depressed have ptsd...they arent best to help me sleep liks n would make me worse being on them years now?

 

[TheMetalhead]

Yeah. Reached out to suicide hotlines, my psychiatrist and therapist. If I remember correctly, I attempted the same or next day.

 

[nicali845]

Yeah. Reached out to suicide hotlines, my psychiatrist and therapist. If I remember correctly, I attempted the same or next day.

i know u feel mate

 

[Death is my goal]

yeah, opened up with my mom. she tried to help but didn't really understand... eventually i lied to her and told her i'm fine. never reaching out again

 

[Serial Experi Pain]

The only people who actively made it worse were friends. I know they meant well, but they just couldn't wrap their heads around the depths of what I felt, and my circumstances, and how sometimes I can't even put my finger on it or why.
I adore the very, very, few that I do let past my wall, but I joined HERE because I gave up on talking to them about my feelings towards my ideations and how little pleasure life really feels like it has to offer me any longer.

All I would get is "No, you can't do that." (telling me I can't pisses me off)
"No, You can't think that way" (Yeah, well I do ALL THE TIME, nearly every day, so?)
"How can I help you?" (when if I knew I would have done it myself by now)
"What about everyone else?" (as if that one isn't easily answered... the world keeps turning....)
Some days I feel alright. Today is actually the first one in a long while. Most days I spend wishing I didn't exist. I saw my psychiatrist a few hours ago, actually, and I told him as much straight forwardly... That it's hard to want to wake up and exist. I'm upping my meds to attempt to help, but they're a crutch. I've tried so many that it's laughable and my brain certainly isn't what it used to be.

This psychiatrist was the first since I was 13 to actually treat me like a human being, though, and I believe that is another small part of why I am still here. I can tell him enough that he knows how serious my mental state is, and he doesn't immediately want to throw me into a psyche-ward like my friends would likely do if they had the chance. There aren't many like that, but I feel if I'm taking the time to go, I will always be blunt and honest with him, and I have for 7 years now.

If I had found an expert in the field like him sooner, who knows what I would have been like today.
I just know it's rare to not be treated like a number, but sometimes you can get lucky. It doesn't always mean you will feel any less pain, though.

 

[suchaprettygard3n]

The only people who actively made it worse were friends. I know they meant well, but they just couldn't wrap their heads around the depths of what I felt, and my circumstances, and how sometimes I can't even put my finger on it or why.
I adore the very, very, few that I do let past my wall, but I joined HERE because I gave up on talking to them about my feelings towards my ideations and how little pleasure life really feels like it has to offer me any longer.

All I would get is "No, you can't do that." (telling me I can't pisses me off)
"No, You can't think that way" (Yeah, well I do ALL THE TIME, nearly every day, so?)
"How can I help you?" (when if I knew I would have done it myself by now)
"What about everyone else?" (as if that one isn't easily answered... the world keeps turning....)
Some days I feel alright. Today is actually the first one in a long while. Most days I spend wishing I didn't exist. I saw my psychiatrist a few hours ago, actually, and I told him as much straight forwardly... That it's hard to want to wake up and exist. I'm upping my meds to attempt to help, but they're a crutch. I've tried so many that it's laughable and my brain certainly isn't what it used to be.

This psychiatrist was the first since I was 13 to actually treat me like a human being, though, and I believe that is another small part of why I am still here. I can tell him enough that he knows how serious my mental state is, and he doesn't immediately want to throw me into a psyche-ward like my friends would likely do if they had the chance. There aren't many like that, but I feel if I'm taking the time to go, I will always be blunt and honest with him, and I have for 7 years now.

If I had found an expert in the field like him sooner, who knows what I would have been like today.
I just know it's rare to not be treated like a number, but sometimes you can get lucky. It doesn't always mean you will feel any less pain, though.

i get this so much. i love my friends of course but it just feels like they really dont get it. i dont think blame them though. i hardly understand my emotions most of the time, so i wouldnt really expect anyone else too. but it just gets so lonely sometimes (all the time)

i also hate when people r like "what about everyone who loves you?" because it just kind feels like guilt tripping. and im such a people pleaser so half the time i only feel like im living for other people and not myself.

 

[nicali845]

i get this so much. i love my friends of course but it just feels like they really dont get it. i dont think blame them though. i hardly understand my emotions most of the time, so i wouldnt really expect anyone else too. but it just gets so lonely sometimes (all the time)

i also hate when people r like "what about everyone who loves you?" because it just kind feels like guilt tripping. and im such a people pleaser so half the time i only feel like im living for other people and not myself.

i know exactly how u feel x

 

[the_widow]

I've sought help / confided in those pretending to be the "right people" somewhere in the range of a dozen times. Laying it all out on the table with total honesty.
I've also dressed up those conversations in elaborate disguises. As I'm sure most of us have.
Standing inches from death; I've closed my eyes tight and extended my hand only to be met with a shove that has taken different forms.
Voluntary & Involuntary psychiatric interventions, weekly/monthly outpatient visits, medication roulette, a verity of word salad that's all the same at its core delivered by friends/family & professionals alike. Oh and the invalidation. 15 years ago during my first 4 week inpatient stay, the older female counselor overseeing our group session looked me square in the eye and said "I don't believe you. I don't care to know anything about you, your story or your reasons, because they're made up. You're seeking attention."
I was 14.
I've never come out of a single one of those situations better than I was when I entered.
I lost my husband 36 days ago. He truly was my entire world. The pain is unrelenting. I loathe every second I'm forced to be without him. This is an entirely new hopelessness. This time I'll just go quietly; with ease.

 

[SSamGarrison]

Not really reaching out but my parents got me a therapist when I was a teenager. They meant well and I didn't have a terrible experience, but my therapist told my parents about my suicidal thoughts. It was upsetting because it was unexpected, although I guess I should've predicted it. He just gave the impression that I hadn't said anything that was too concerning. Anyway therapy didn't really go anywhere, it was nice to say what I wanted to, but didn't help. It just felt like it was a waste of time

 

[revolutionnaire23]

for me, it was more so temporary. it just seemed like no one would understand. and if i did tell people about this, they'd alert my family. so i keep it under wraps.

 

[Arcitect]

just wondering what other ppls experiences have been like...

I've never gotten professional help but every time I reach out to a friend they abandon me. Literally. I've been ghosted like, twice and the third time the girl just asked me to stop talking about it because she developed a heart condition and can't get stressed out.

 

[princexhhn]

I tried telling my ex, back when we were still together. he just got mad at me, saying "how will i help you if you always wanna commit suicide?!" like hellooo? im crying for help here! i needed him and he does that. i was scared of myself, i was scared of what i was doing and needed him and then he just yells at me! im not scared anymore, if anything that experience helped me to not fear my ctb tendencies / plans because it turns out these motherfuckers dont care if i live or die! i have loved him and i never loved anyone better, and he doesnt care if i live or die.

 

[letmejoindeath]

I reached out to my family for help and they failed me and have never made it right.

I reached out to law enforcement for help and they failed me and have never made it right.

Reached out to family again and they failed me and never made it right

I reached out to the church to help me but they failed me and never made it right

I reached out to a psychologist to help me but they failed me and never made it right

I reached out to doctors to help me and they failed me and never made it right

Every situation where people are supposed to help me they have absolutely made things worse which is why I'm at the breaking point

 

[steppenwolf]

No. Never. When the wolf is at the door, you don't call the tiger and ask for help. I trust no one. Admit nothing. Bottle it all up and self-medicate all the way.

 

[godsseepiestsoldier]

Pretty sure im not the most inncurable case in the world but when i did try to get therapy (which was hard bc my dad was a very therapy bad kinda guy for multiple silly reasons) she ended up crying a lot when i opened up and eventually said she didnt think she could do anything for me before eventually letting me go. So unprofessional and ik it is not at all represntative of therapy but it put such a sour taste in my mouth + i already have extreme trouble opening up or going to therapy so i never tried again.
Familys always been a very suck it up dont be a wimp kinda family so no help there

And when i did have friends i got called gay or the f slur a lot if i said anything emotional