Has anyone else ghosted all their friends to prove to themselves that nobody would really miss them if they died?

[Bazinga]

I used to vent a lot about suicide and how nobody would miss me if i was gone yada yada and typical teenage angst when i was younger. Once I graduated high school though and went to university, I started getting sick with ulcerative colitis. It was really difficult and i had to drop out of school because of it.

Here's the thing though. After i ended up getting sick and going to the hospital then getting diagnosed, i realized nobody cared or really noticed i was gone from uni. So one day i just stopped responding to smalltalk and just disappeared. And nobody cared! For all anyone knew i died of some disease I got. I just disappeared one day off of campus from the people that saw me every day. It's been a year now and I'm almost certain nobody cares anymore about whether or not im alive.

It feels good to finally have proof that nobody i knew has cared or noticed my "death". One of their main arguments against suicide is how much someone's death will hurt others, but i just disappeared and 0 people cared. Now if i kill myself for real, i know nobody will notice. Absolute proof .

The only problem is i can't rub it in anyone's face because i don't talk to anyone anymore.

 

[Soul]

I'm sorry. I've done the same a few times, so people have gotten used to it. It always takes a while before anyone notices, though, which is not encouraging, but I guess it's modern.

 

[LogicalConclusion]

I just deactivated my fb again because, fuck it, nobody gives a damn anyway. I've gotten two messages from people, only one reaching out outside of fb (they don't know I still have messenger and I'm on invisible). And the day after I deactivated, my friend was over helping with some things and I took a couple videos of him playing with my dog to send to one of our friends who didn't say anything at all. Normally he loves pet videos so idk. Really, I don't think anyone will be surprised when I ctb and I don't think they'll genuinely care beyond whatever feelings they express that make them appear to be good people.

 

[Bazinga]

Me too. I slow rolled it though. Deactivated facebook, then moved onto ghosting via other means. At this point the only people i interact with are my therapist parents and brother. Idgaf about my therapist he'll be fine and has been through this many times before but my parents and brother i feel bad for when i CTB. At the same time i can't let myself effectively become a slave for what they want for me. I just want to die. They will be sad if that happens but what am i gonna do. If my only reason to live is so that they can be happy im basically a slave.

 

[not_a_robot]

Is the only reason for living to be noticed by others?
I just don't understand that mentality. Is it like, being mad that you didn't get invited to a party that you didn't want to go to anyway?

 

[LogicalConclusion]

Is the only reason for living to be noticed by others?
I just don't understand that mentality. Is it like, being mad that you didn't get invited to a party that you didn't want to go to anyway?

I'll be the first to admit that I hate it, but we are social creatures. Infants will literally die without receiving affection or touch. I'm upset that people that I care so much about care so little about me.

Do you not socialize? If you don't, what do you do instead, if I may ask? Sincerely curious because I legit want to get consumed by something enough not to have the desire to talk to people

 

[Bärchen]

You cant ghost friends when you never had any

 

[not_a_robot]

I'll be the first to admit that I hate it, but we are social creatures. Infants will literally die without receiving affection or touch. I'm upset that people that I care so much about care so little about me.

Do you not socialize? If you don't, what do you do instead, if I may ask? Sincerely curious because I legit want to get consumed by something enough not to have the desire to talk to people

lol. I stack my house with dvds, books, and audiobooks. I do everything I can to avoid socializing. I refuse to leave my home forweeks at a time. I can't remember the last time I had a conversation just for pleasure IRL. I speak to people only because it is necessary for the purpose of exchanging information. I try to pretend to be "normal" during these exchanges but people are only ever horny or repulsed by my attempts at conversation (frequently, both simultaneously). I am often offered free dinners because I'm poor but the thought of being in others' company for a meal makes me sick so I stay home and eat beans instead.

"We are social creatures who require human contact" is only true for NTs. Look how much distress human interaction causes you. You post about it often. You have simply been brainwashed into believing this torture is "necessary", I think if you re-read your own posts, you'd see that you're probably better off without it. When was the last time human interaction made you feel anything other than anxious or sad?
Human interaction is only necessary during childhood, when our dependency makes it a necessary evil. After we reach physical independence, human interaction is just a learned behavior, a bad habit that we need to break in order to fully grow up. A familiar unpleasantness that people just mindlessly perpetuate.
Hugs, though.

Oh, also, obviously, I use online posting as a form of Social Surrogacy, or Social Substitute.
"SS" doesn't only stand for Sanctioned Suicide.
Reactions to my ideas online are often negative, but that doesn't bother me, I'm not looking for positive reinforcement. If anything, I prefer being reminded how different I am from everybody else. Society despises me, but the feeling is mutual.

 

[painoflife]

I haven't needed to do this as nobody bothers about anything related to me anyway, there is always something more important going on with somebody else for them to even ask how I am.

 

[restingspot]

I've done it during heavy depressive episodes. I can't really talk to anybody because all I can say is how much I want to die, or how nothing brings me joy. It kills their mood and I don't want to do that to them. One time I stopped talking to somebody for 6 months and they never popped in....And the kicker was that they supposedly liked me romantically. Heh, guess not enough....

 

[Dreamcolleger]

Try not to worry about it too much mate, most people don't really care that much. At best if you're lucky you just have your family and a partner.

I'm preparing to go, I've cut off "friends", I'm not listing a lot of them on any "people to contact" note, I'm down to about 2 of them and I'm not even sure if I'll list them. Drinking buddies and people who have their own things going on, I don't even know if they'll find out I'm dead since my family don't know any of them. I guess some will assume I am, some will think I'm an asshole that ghosted them, some might not be bothered where I am. Don't worry about it!

 

[TAW122]

Yes, I have "unintentionally" done this social experiment before. In fact, aside from a childhood friend whom I grew up with, when I entered college, my contact between him and I have grew more and more distant over the years. Aside from him and if excluding him, then I really don't have many friends or really anyone who really checks on me. Occasionally, I will have some acquaintances who keep in touch, but once they move or go elsewhere, they're pretty much gone and don't even initiate contact with me anymore (unless they randomly bump into me, in which case, they'll 'feign' the fact that they are friends with me, which annoys me). Finally, yes I fully agree with you that this is significant proof that people just don't care about me (aside from my family, which even then, seldomly contact me) and when/if I do die, they'll just "act" like they care to show that they aren't heartless human beings.

@not_a_robot Good post there. I like your post about how social interaction and human contact. I can really relate to it. The only difference for me is that sometimes I still seek some physical affection such as hugging and stuff, but mainly because I'm a tactile like person. I'm needing less and less of that though at my age, which I guess is good to some degree.

 

[DreamCatcher]

I don't think it matters if people miss you or not after you're gone. And part of life is the people that are living miss the dead, you can't change that.

There are people I know that are gone now, some by suicide, I don't hate them for it. Now that I understand that they did it to free themselves of pain I'm just happy that they aren't hurting anymore.

If people really care about you, they'll understand. If they don't really care then they don't matter.

 

[BeenDoneForSoLong]

Yea... Kind of.

Basically my friends knew some shit was up in senior year of high school:
Therefore ensued the shit that I'm sure most people have dealt with- the reassurance that life is worth living- that they can't deal with you being gone, blah blah ect. Ect.

Except when I decided, 'its time to stop being a pussy and do something about it'. I fucked up big time. Got way too drunk-
And basically did something pretty bad that betrayed my friends trust (I don't want to write what it is publically because it would obviously lead back to me irl).
This event lead to the said friends alienation- and the rest basically followed.

2 years or so later and now I've stopped reaching out to them. And expectingly, they haven't made any attempts to reach out themselves. So before I attempted- my life was a precious commodity, super important to them. When I decided to actually do something about it. The consequences for the way I went about it, lead to a ghosting. And it appears that they don't really give a fuck anymore.

Funny how it's worked out- now it would be nice if my family could forget about me so I could get on moving down into sweet nothingness.

 

[HGL91]

Yeah, I did this in April. I've had a couple texts from people since then, but I didn't answer them because I'm going to CTB and would prefer they remember me as the healthy, bubbly Exercise Teacher they knew me as...well, that's how
I came off anyway, when inside my anxiety about my life issues were eating me up.

 

[fister]

Yes I've done this a couple times. Also made myself unreachable. But not to prove anything to myself. This hurt some people.

 

[Tabbyql]

I've been slowly doing it for past year or so. I think I've finally managed on my last 2 friends. No one gives af. But I already knew that. Not really just for that reason, also because my depression and anxiety.

 

[dramaqueen]

I can assure you that while we are alive no one would really give anything, but as soon as we are gone everyone will be like oh she/he were so kind and nice... we miss them... bla-bla-bla...

 

[RememberWhatUCameFor]

Sickness behavior - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

it might be all biological

 

[Alchemist]

Well, if I don't talk to people, they'll never talk to me unless they need something. So it less than ghosting people and more like they know they don't give a shit.

 

[Codieb1]

To be fair, it's quite possible a lot of people talked about you and wondered where you went. I don't know how many people had your contact info either, or how close friends you were with these people, but there's a few factors you didn't mention, almost to verify your own reasoning to CTB.
Even still, I can relate. I never had a single friend growing up, but I did constantly get called "attention seeking" for being suicidal (I mean I had literally zero friends? Maybe attention is what I needed). I left my Facebook account open for two years after I left high school. No one contacted me. Not a single person. I know plenty of my classmates genuinely wanted me dead, and they probably think that's where I am now.
At least be glad you got the socially acceptable "I'd miss you!" rather than your entire class saying "Do it, no one would care". Lol but that's just me

 

[AtomicNewt]

Ghosted everyone because I'm depressed out of my mind and can't cope. After many years it hasn't been noticed. I'm not on fb, thank fuck, but yeah, no one cares really, apart from the odd one or two who truly must be friends, but still mostly half-yearly prod at best or just cross/let it go, so can't be that bothered.

Really could be a Miss Haversham, except I'm not rich and it was more than a few people that fucked me over

 

[Bazinga]

To be fair, it's quite possible a lot of people talked about you and wondered where you went. I don't know how many people had your contact info either, or how close friends you were with these people, but there's a few factors you didn't mention, almost to verify your own reasoning to CTB.

I deactivated facebook. If people wanted to they could use my email, linkedin, steam, or even my phone number. Since i mostly interacted with people over messenger this killed social interactions real quick. And since 90% of my university's social activities were coordinated via facebook, I basically disappeared off the map instantly. Then i just got sick and disappeared. Whoosh.

If only i could get sick with something that'll actually kill me.

 

[peacefully31425]

No, I just forced everyone out of my life through my toxic behavior

 

[k75]

My close friends refuse to allow me to ghost them. I don't to it intentionally, but sometimes I just check out of the world for a while and isolate. The days just blend together sometimes and I lose track of time.

Only I can never fully do that, because I have one or two people that usually call daily. Sometimes I don't answer, but if I do that too long, my best friend will show up with a key to my apartment and be very pissed and concerned. I don't like it when that happens, so I usually just answer the phone.

My family is a different story. I try to keep in touch regularly, but when I'm in isolation mode I've gone weeks without contacting my parents. They get worried, but they never try to check in directly. They just start asking around to see if anyone else has talked to me lately. And then when I finally decide to call, they tell me that they were worried about me. Like, what good does that do? I know they love me, but it would be nice to not have to be the one making the effort all the time. Sometimes I've been tempted to see how long I can go without calling them before they'll check on me, but I haven't done it yet.

 

[dreamsofdestruction]

Well I guess I did that long ago, not with the intent to prove nobody would care, but it did end up being like that. (Although someone tried once or twice to contact me.)

At the time I didn't mind though, had fun being alone for a while.

 

[Rugnificent]

Yeah, no one will miss me either. It's a little bittersweet, at least I won't have guilt of "oh they'll miss me".

 

[pole]

Yep. Deactivated twitter, sc, ig, for a while; now just getting back into twitter cause twitters literally amazing. but yeah and fb i deactivated as well even though i hardly used it.

i honestly deactivated to get away from everything and everyone. people texted here and there and noticed something was wrong, just said im fine i guess. and the activitys dimmed down which is what i want. I dont really care if people cared about me or not, me deleting my socials is to distance myself away from people so they stopped caring about me, and if i were ctb, id be that person they use to know and it wouldnt be so hard on them.

 

[oopswronglife]

I haven't ghosted anyone. They mostly abandoned me or died. My phone only makes a noise when spammers call/text multiple times a day (have taken to leaving it off and checking once a day just in case), or the occasional appointment reminder, or when something is needed done where I live. I haven't had a genuine personal call/text in years. I have one longtime, good friend left but they are abroad and busy so contact is messenger once/twice a week. One other very meaningful person also abroad that I chat with every couple weeks. Not a soul physically nearby I care for. Never had social media so nothing to delete. it definitely takes some the guilt pressure off leaving since there isn't an army of people do leave, though the remaining couple people I care about is still gonna be a burden emotionally.

 

[joshe]

Yes, wow, this sums it up entirely. Most relationships are based on constant upkeep, if you let them go that gap is filled by someone else. The only exception is close family