Has anyone else completely withdrawn from everyone and the world?

[TAW122]

I would not consider myself 100% withdrawn from the world in that sense, however, I don't get much interaction with people. I have a phone and don't even get people (willingly on their own) to text me, call me, or even just say hello. I suppose I'm one of the kinds of people who are 'forgettable' at the least, or sometimes, reviled by others. I am effectively, pretty lonely (not counting family as I'm living under my parents' roof currently while I work to get back on my feet (or at least appear to be while biding my time to CTB).).

 

[departing]

I changed my phone number, deleted my social media, and totally withdrew from everyone. To this day, I'm still isolated from the world.

 

[silent staring void]

I've been pretty much isolated ever since I was 10-12 years old, which is also when I first became depressed. Social isolation during my formative years probably irreversibly fucked me up. Can't recommend.

 

[itsmeagain]

Maybe it's because I only have this website that I still interact with. I find myself making lots of posts and responding to everyone. I know that it's ridiculous to want to hear 1 message from some people I've never met online versus people that call me their best friends... but I'm starting to fade. Nobody really talks to me at my job and it's only for two hours. Honestly, I think that, and my studies is the only thing I'm really putting effort into, with some vain hope that if something gets better, if something blossoms, that I won't fall flat on my face when i reenter.

Distancing yourself can be very scary and sometimes you may find yourself wanting to speak to someone. It's strange, at least, that's what happening to me. But when one person comes over, the only thing they end up doing is just sitting next to me and patting my back until I go while I lay there. Fake laugh at a few things they say, and utterly make them miserable until they leave.

If it makes you feel any better, or, if you at least appreciate the sentiment, I'm sure a couple people on this site would lay with you. Just to lay in a room without a word where people know. Maybe have some hugs. I genuinely mean my hugs I give ppl on this website, and I wish you could get a hug that would make you full again.

 

[S1mpleme]

Me.

I've been pretty much isolated ever since I was 10-12 years old, which is also when I first became depressed. Social isolation during my formative years probably irreversibly fucked me up. Can't recommend.

Sorry, but your "Can't recommend." made me laugh.

 

[JustVisiting]

Me.

Sorry, but your "Can't recommend." made me laugh.

100% withdrawn and isolated from everyone irl for the last 4 years. People are highly overrated.

 

[Kneel]

Yeah. I deleted my messenger apps last Sunday and I've been keeping my phone and pc off, other than work I only got these forums left for social contact.
I never had true friends in real life and even the people I met online drifted away, because of me, and I'm too socially awkward to find and form new relationships.
My recent breakup with my partner broke me, I don't want to deal with anything or anyone anymore.

 

[Conker]

100% withdrawn and isolated from everyone irl for the last 4 years. People are highly overrated.

They can oftentimes be so mundane & robotic, it seems many have forgotten how to be human.

 

[Inferdan]

Wondering if I am alone in this it's like I've barricaded myself from the world and people I love. I turn my phone off so I don't get calls or texts and sleep all the time and cry. Leading up to this I was distancing myself from new people too but now it's happened to the people closest and the people helping me. I've put up walls and am sabotaging everything but can't stop it's not that I want to be alone I just don't want to waste people's time I'm not worth it. This past week where I wanted to CTB was planning to several nights and chickened out I didn't step outside my apartment for over a week. Wondering if I'm alone in this

I have a feeling that this will happen to me. I don't know why, but soon, it will. I hope not, but at the same time, there is a relief. I don't know which is the one I'd prefer.

 

[HighwayToHell]

People are cunts lol. I'll be so happy to leave

 

[Epsilon0]

I still go to work, but apart from that, I have completely stopped reaching out to people and meeting with my friends. I also have my phone turned off for days on end.

I am drowning in despair.

 

[GinaIsReady]

I prefer being alone for the most part but still hunger to connect with others at times. I have very limited contact with the world. The worst part is the boredom.

 

[Shero]

Yes, im addicted to isolation. If i go out once a week, i already feel the urge to go back to my habit.

 

[TimeTheTaleWereTold]

i'm working on it, to make it less painful for the poor misguided people who love me whenever i do eventually leave. it's difficult but necessary

 

[EndItNorth]

I definitely can relate. I barely have been able to leave my apartment. I have tentatively set my CTB date and now I am just barely gathering myself together to get to work each day. Once I get home at night, I just stay in, and I dread going to bed because I know tomorrow will bring another mind-numbing, horrible day that I have to push myself though. I hope I do not chicken out when the time comes for me to CTB, because truly it cannot come soon enough in many ways!

 

[mukluk0713]

In some ways I feel like we isolate more and more to try and protect those around us from our loss when we work up the courage. Some of my friends still bug me for contact and to see how I'm doing, but those are few and far between from those who just become frustrated with my lack of contact and become angry towards me for my self isolation. I can never explain it properly so I guess I just stopped trying. Sending hugs to everyone in this spot though. Nothing is ever easy, not even escape.

 

[Starseedchip]

Yep except for my mother and two close friends. I still have to work and end up interacting with SO many people because of it. I imagine if I had the oppertunity to just shut in and only be around certain people when I chose I might live. If I won the lottery and got to stay inside a big house all day away from others with no worries I wouldnt kill myself until I got old. Dealing with the world at large has made me depressed since I was a teenager.

 

[faust]

I just do not want to pretend that everything is okay. If you start talking about your problems, you are likely to be rejected. Plus I don't think it is a good idea to make new friends outside of this forum because you will invest your time and feelings in relationships knowing that your life will soon end. I do not want anybody else to experience the loss if we become too close.

 

[Despondent]

I am in the prosess of me distancing myself from irl people... Usually they distant from me and I just don't bother then or else they will only talk to me every few weeks or so.... I am done with them users and non understanding judgemental f**ks! This forum imo is the only place where real people and like minded people are... The irl people are even more delusional than myself, myself as in a woman who lives mostly in a fantasy world but at least I am not suger coating life.. It is what it is...

You go girl! Me as well. I don't have time for any of it.

 

[Time]

Absolutely. Like others, I've been isolated for almost my whole life. I only (barely) talk to my parents but that's really only because I live with them. I've interacted with them less & less as the years have gone by. Which sucks because I love them & they love me. And they deserve better than what I can give them. I've just never mixed well with people & I've slowly gotten to the point where I believe that I am too far gone. Hopefully the distance will make my death @ least a little easier to digest.

 

[Pan]

There was a time that I cared; that I time is long gone now. There was a time, for example, when I cared about smoking and worried about its effects on my health; now, i couldn't care less and smoke like a fiend. When I visit my doctor for my physical, I hope and actually pray that I will receive grim news. What a relief it would be to find out I have cancer. I would refuse all treatment and finally be free.

 

[Mr.Nobody]

Yes , I am a NEET for the moment.

 

[Exitforme]

I have isolated myself and the solitude is immensely pleasurable