Hanging fetish

[adedofn]

I have been always fascinated by hanging since i'm young, and always imagine to hang myself one day
One day i've decided to try hanging for know the real feeling, i've tight a belt to a window handle and i use a stool to put the belt around my neck, then i'm going down from the stool, i was on my tiptoes but i pass out like instant, the feeling was strange and a miracle make me wake up and my life instinct make me back on the stool and put out the belt ...
Since this moment i'm totally fascinated about hanging and dream to hang myself one day, i'm playing often with a noose ...
I am the only one in this situation ? should i just kick this stool one day and make all the way ?

 

[ToANewWorld]

Just to be sure I understand are you saying CTB won't be escape from pain or mental anguish but a potential orgasm? If this is the case, I would seek help instead instead of attempting to CTB.

 

[Worndown]

I understand.

 

[Gustav Hartmann]

Just to be sure I understand are you saying CTB won't be escape from pain or mental anguish but a potential orgasm? If this is the case, I would seek help instead instead of attempting to CTB.

If seeking help means, to contact the not so small community of like minded people, I agree. You can learn there how to play safe.

If seeking help means, to contact a psychiatrist, I completly disagree. It is like telling gay people that they are insane, what was normal 50 years ago.

The more often I was hanged non lethally, the stonger became my desire not to wake up again. What kept me from doing so, was that I can only have this fantasies and experiences when I am alive. In this forum I was seeking for ways to overcome my personal "survival instinct". When I will finally succeed it is a valid reason to kill myself , like all others. Who the hell, is in the position to decide what are right and what are wrong reasons to commit suicide?

 

[Re62]

I have something similar, it's not really a fetish more of a coping mechanism i developed during my school days that just stuck with me, whenever it just gets too hard for me to handle life and I wanna cry I make shallow cuts on my wrist, it helps calm me down somewhat, loneliness can destroy you from inside as someone who is pretty much a failure at socialization of any kind it's one of my coping mechanisms.

 

[hang in there]

I kind of have that problem in reverse... Years ago I was going to kill myself by hanging, but due to my cautious personality I get pretty anal about getting things perfectly right... So I set everything up from a ceiling joist, and practiced, and practiced, and those times when the rope wasn't set up I would practice with a belt, with window cable, with cords, with a car ratchet, with anything I could get my hands on... It became such a relaxing ritual, to instantly clear my mind and reset my emotions, I decided "fuck it" and tried m***bating during it and got obsessed...
I have a gun now but that coil of rope is still my only dear friend through hard times and I can't part with it
So it is interesting to me you have that exact issue in the wrong order