Had a good opportunity but couldnt do it...

[freakshow]

I was left alone unsupervisioned for a few hours and i had everything prepared, i tied the nose and the anchor but i couldnt overcome my SI... its not even that im scared to die but im scared of failing again. this sucks.
i dont have a proper rope to hang myself so I used a bedsheet. It does seems like it can hold my weight, i tested it like i was climbing it and it seemed sturdy enough but i wasnt so sure so i gave up... it was also really fucking scary, seeing the noose in front of me like this.

Im scared the ligature is strong enough to hold me for a few minutes but eventually break at some point and I get brain damage...
fuck i hate life so much, im so miserable, im crying everyday all day, i cant stand my reflection, even my looking at my hands makes me breakdown crying... cant live like this

 

[Ramsay Fiction]

I'm very sorry you are struggling. I have no useful advice but I do hope something works out for you.

 

[possessed]

Sad to hear that..............the fear of brain damage is also stopping me from hanging..............

 

[FuneralCry]

I certainly understand it's so dreadful suffering in this existence, I personally really just wish it's straightforward to just never exist again, it's so cruel to me how it's this difficult to die. But anyway I wish you the best.