Venting Gymrat boyfriend is not supportive at all

[AnonymousL]

I just need a place to get this out.

I'm severely depressed. It's getting worse the past few days. However I'm a master at putting on a mask to anyone. Even the person I should feel safe with which is my boyfriend.
So can I blame him? I guess not.

Anyways.. here is the situation.

I'm going to the gym for a year now. Weight lifting. On good days I want to achieve my dream body which needs proper work in the gym.

I decided that for now 3 days a week is a good point for my mental health.

I went 2 days already and now today I'm gonna do my 3th day so I told him yesterday that I felt like I was having a good gym week even though my first workout sucked. (Those days just happen)
I told him that I felt like I was consistent this week by going 3 days as planned.

And he was super negative. Saying I wasn't consistent at all cause that 1 day was not good and I barely did anything.
He completely broke me down.

The little bit of positivity is gone now.
And it hurts.

This happened yesterday night and I went to bed without saying anything. He texted me goodnight and this morning he started texting me like nothing happened yesterday while I'm still very upset about it.

I don't have the energy to talk or fight about it.
I don't have the energy to go to the gym today cause well.. it doesn't matter anyways.. I haven't been consistent this week so why bother getting up walking 15 min .. work my ass off for 1,5h and go home again?

That was it. That was my vent.

 

[d3ad]

I just need a place to get this out.

I'm severely depressed. It's getting worse the past few days. However I'm a master at putting on a mask to anyone. Even the person I should feel safe with which is my boyfriend.
So can I blame him? I guess not.

Anyways.. here is the situation.

I'm going to the gym for a year now. Weight lifting. On good days I want to achieve my dream body which needs proper work in the gym.

I decided that for now 3 days a week is a good point for my mental health.

I went 2 days already and now today I'm gonna do my 3th day so I told him yesterday that I felt like I was having a good gym week even though my first workout sucked. (Those days just happen)
I told him that I felt like I was consistent this week by going 3 days as planned.

And he was super negative. Saying I wasn't consistent at all cause that 1 day was not good and I barely did anything.
He completely broke me down.

The little bit of positivity is gone now.
And it hurts.

This happened yesterday night and I went to bed without saying anything. He texted me goodnight and this morning he started texting me like nothing happened yesterday while I'm still very upset about it.

I don't have the energy to talk or fight about it.
I don't have the energy to go to the gym today cause well.. it doesn't matter anyways.. I haven't been consistent this week so why bother getting up walking 15 min .. work my ass off for 1,5h and go home again?

That was it. That was my vent.

I am so sorry. It really hurts when the one person you love the most puts you down. Screw him. You did very well. You actually pushed yourself to go to the gym, that in itself is something worth celebrating. You did the work, no matter how small it may be to other people (him), you did very well. The fact that he just pretended as if nothing happened makes the whole situation worse. He doesn't care. I also had a boyfriend who was like that. You should tell me how you feel. Be completely honest about it. Bottling things up is not good for you, and he needs to know too.

 

[AnonymousL]

I am so sorry. It really hurts when the one person you love the most puts you down. Screw him. You did very well. You actually pushed yourself to go to the gym, that in itself is something worth celebrating. You did the work, no matter how small it may be to other people (him), you did very well. The fact that he just pretended as if nothing happened makes the whole situation worse. He doesn't care. I also had a boyfriend who was like that. You should tell me how you feel. Be completely honest about it. Bottling things up is not good for you, and he needs to know too.

You're really kind and I appreciate everything you said. It means a lot

 

[d3ad]

You're really kind and I appreciate everything you said. It means a lot

You are welcome. We all need and deserve kindness.

You should tell me how you feel. Be completely honest about it. Bottling things up is not good for you, and he needs to know too.

I just realized that I made a mistake here. I meant you should tell him how you feel. I wasn't pushing you to tell me.

 

[R_N]

It is kinda how we men speak to each other. I went to a gym with my friends long time ago and we always pushed ourselves to the limit until we could barely walk out. When we did reps we pushed each other to do one more aggressively and when someone missed a day we always gave each other shit for it. In my case we weren't trying to be rude just push ourselves to the limit. Same goes when I trained boxing, my trainers never cared about my background or allowed me to take it easy even as a new member.

Just to give you a different perspective. We motivate ourselves by pushing it. But you shouldn't do something you don't want to just for the praise. Set your goals and try to achieve it your way regardless what he thinks if you want.

 

[SexyIncél]

Is he only negative when it comes to things like the gym?

Then maybe you invisibly entered the domain of men's way of speaking. When guys suddenly sound like Andrew Tate

 

[AnonymousL]

I just realized that I made a mistake here. I meant you should tell him how you feel. I wasn't pushing you to tell me.

I know, don't worry

 

[d3ad]

It is kinda how we men speak to each other. I went to a gym with my friends long time ago and we always pushed ourselves to the limit until we could barely walk out. When we did reps we pushed each other to do one more aggressively and when someone missed a day we always gave each other shit for it. In my case we weren't trying to be rude just push ourselves to the limit. Same goes when I trained boxing, my trainers never cared about my background or allowed me to take it easy even as a new member.

Just to give you a different perspective. We motivate ourselves by pushing it. But you shouldn't do something you don't want to just for the praise. Set your goals and try to achieve it your way regardless what he thinks if you want.

I would never survive a day as a man tbh, if that's the case, I understand you guys weren't being mean to each other, but damn. I would just crumble.

 

[R_N]

I would never survive a day as a man tbh, if that's the case, I understand you guys weren't being mean to each other, but damn. I would just crumble.

Humans get used to anything, and in this particular case I felt good not bad. At least when doing things like that with friends. When we men push ourselves to achieve something it is a good feeling, opposite is when we sabotage one another and see each other as an enemy, hating to see one of us go "ahead".

And women have it rough too in different ways, we all struggle.

 

[d3ad]

Humans get used to anything, and in this particular case I felt good not bad. At least when doing things like that with friends. When we men push ourselves to achieve something it is a good feeling, opposite is when we sabotage one another and see each other as an enemy, hating to see one of us go "ahead".

And women have it rough too in different ways, we all struggle.

That is true. If you felt okay with it, then that's great. I guess I will never understand because I'm not a man (thanks god). Yep, there is no competition here. We all struggle in one way or another.