I feel guilty too, Afterman. My father is 80 and his health is bad so I'm thinking the grief might kill him. He's depressive too.
And my friends... I hate to do that to them, but these days I've been thinking that precisely, you know you're reaching the point of no return when your longing to ctb starts to outweigh any guilt you might feel for others. If my friends or family could spend even a day in my head, feeling exactly what I feel, I think they might understand and accept that I want/need to go. If they love me, I can only hope they would never insist on inflicting upon me a life that crushes me every minute of every day.