Groundhog Day Trying To Kill Myself!

[CaptainT]

You've got to laugh or cry. Failing to kill yourself is a bizarre situation. I feel like Bill Murray in Groundhog day. How hard can it be?!



After surviving my CO attempt on the 5th Nov (god knows how, with 2kg of coals in a small car and being knocked out for 7-8 hours) I realise that the delayed side effects from CO poisoning (which appear weeks later) mean if I'm going to try again, it's got to be soon.

So my plan now is: in a week or so (as soon as the SN arrives from Poland) I'll attempt CO again, on the same remote campsite in an even smaller hire car with a different coal set up (after doing more tests with a CO meter). If I wake up from that like last week I'll take the SN/domperidone mix 2 days later in the shepherd's hut there. You'd have to laugh at the comedic value of it all if both of those attempts failed too!

Reasons to do it sooner rather than delay further:
* Don't want side effects of first CO attempt to get severe
* Life situation is still bleak with no chance of improvements
* Don't want to do it in December, close to Xmas, for family reasons

CO has always been my #1 method as it's so clean and simple (or should be!). I like the naturalness of it. Last time when I stepped into the car with the coals I remember nothing, just instant knock-out sleep. No pain. No ingesting drugs or vomiting. No complicated regimes. Yet I survived it so this time SN will have to be up my sleeve.

Any suggestions welcome. Can't get hold of a CO meter that goes up to 10000ppm, only 1000 so will test more with that. Will switch brand of coals. Will test a disposable bbq. Will seal car further. Anyone else with field-tested CO experience please chime in.

Planning it, like last time, actually alleviates the mental suffering of feeling trapped and hopeless. This 2nd attempt can't fail. I ask for Bill Murray's blessing to escape!

 

[trynacbt]

I appreciate your humor and wish you well. I know nothing about the CO method unfortunately...

 

[CaptainT]

And one cheeky question for UK members.... if my SN doesn't arrive from Poland by 18th November (should have been here on 8th) is there anyone willing to dish me out 25g that I could collect on route....for salting my food of course ;) I'll be driving from Bristol area north to Manchester area on the 18th

 

[bigoutfit]

Groundhog day is such a good film. I remember your thread from a few days ago. I hope it all works out for you.

 

[CaptainT]

Groundhog day is such a good film. I remember your thread from a few days ago. I hope it all works out for you.

Cheers @bigoutfit, wishing you happy travels too, if I do the SN as my Plan B I'll try to stay on here as long as possible to let you know what's happening

 

[lymbo]

Cheers @bigoutfit, wishing you happy travels too, if I do the SN as my Plan B I'll try to stay on here as long as possible to let you know what's happening

cheers mate, l remember your threat about the CO , can u share your reason for wantyng to salt your food ;)?

 

[AnxiouslyDepressed]

And one cheeky question for UK members.... if my SN doesn't arrive from Poland by 18th November (should have been here on 8th) is there anyone willing to dish me out 25g that I could collect on route....for salting my food of course ;) I'll be driving from Bristol area north to Manchester area on the 18th

I think I have ordered from the same seller on eBay... now anxious it won't appear, could you PM me when it arrives? So I know wether to set up a plan B before my 30 days are up

 

[CaptainT]

cheers mate, l remember your threat about the CO , can u share your reason for wantyng to salt your food ;)?

"The perfect storm" hit me this year in terms of loss of job, loss of health, loss of relationship, leading to big mental breakdown. That's the gist of it, but there's a lot more to it which I won't go into. I've had an intense adventurous life so I'm happy to be the captain of my own ship when it comes to deciding when to end it

I think I have ordered from the same seller on eBay... now anxious it won't appear, could you PM me when it arrives? So I know wether to set up a plan B before my 30 days are up

I've been in contact with others on here who bought from him. He's legit and it's good stuff but it takes 3 weeks (sometimes 4) rather than 1

 

[lymbo]

can u tell us ur age

 

[AnxiouslyDepressed]

I've been in contact with others on here who bought from him. He's legit and it's good stuff but it takes 3 weeks (sometimes 4) rather than 1

Thanks for the info, will get everything else ordered in the meantime then.

 

[CaptainT]

can u tell us ur age

You're only as old as the woman you feel ;)

 

[lymbo]

damn what know l dont have a lady

 

[Soul]

@CaptainT, I read a study awhile ago that compared the co levels generated by assorted means and leaf blowers were far ahead of the rest. If you're interested please put "leaf blower" in the search gizmo and you should be able to find the discussion.

Whatever you choose to do, I wish you the best outcomes for you. x

 

[CaptainT]

@CaptainT, I read a study awhile ago that compared the co levels generated by assorted means and leaf blowers were far ahead of the rest. If you're interested please put "leaf blower" in the search gizmo and you should be able to find the discussion.

Whatever you choose to do, I wish you the best outcomes for you. x

Thanks @Soul but the idea of a noisy generator / leaf blower for my final moments goes against the whole reason for the choice of CO. I find it immensely soothing that I'll die next to a warm tray of charcoal, itself a product of trees that have been and gone, like the cavemen of old

 

[deathbyginger]

I'm very sorry to hear about your failed attempt. I can only imagine how it felt, however, I really respect your positivity and gratitude towards it. It shows that you're a not a sore loser, you are a preserver and have a good sense of humour about it!
I hope your next attempt goes well, whether it be the CO or the SN. I wish you nothing but peace.

One question about the CO method though. You mentioned that you would seal your car further in your next attempt, what did you do the first time and what are you doing differently this time?

 

[CaptainT]

I'm very sorry to hear about your failed attempt. I can only imagine how it felt, however, I really respect your positivity and gratitude towards it. It shows that you're a not a sore loser, you are a preserver and have a good sense of humour about it!
I hope your next attempt goes well, whether it be the CO or the SN. I wish you nothing but peace.

One question about the CO method though. You mentioned that you would seal your car further in your next attempt, what did you do the first time and what are you doing differently this time?

Cheers @deathbyginger. For the next (and final!) attempt it will be a smaller car with double the charcoal (different brand) poured into trays rather than one bucket.

First time I just sealed the front air vents with Gorilla tape. Will do that again.

Hope you're doing ok and keeping your head above the water. Sending warm wishes

 

[deathbyginger]

Cheers @deathbyginger. For the next (and final!) attempt it will be a smaller car with double the charcoal (different brand) poured into trays rather than one bucket.

First time I just sealed the front air vents with Gorilla tape. Will do that again.

Hope you're doing ok and keeping your head above the water. Sending warm wishes

Thanks, CaptainT, it really means a lot. I am only obtaining the required materials and knowledge at this time, so I have at least a month left here depending on the arrival of my SN. I plan to make use of the CO method as a backup.

I read further into the CO method, sourcing some of the information that you have posted in previous threads as I admire your knowledge of the topic. I'm sure by doing both of those things you will increase your chances.
I just have a couple questions/comments:

1) What type of trays do you plan to use? I have seen postings recommend to use different types of Grills to hold the coals. Although I'm sure your trays will be just as effective provided that they allow the coals to have more surface area expose

2) Good idea with the Gorilla Tape on the air vents, but I just think that often you get a lot of leakage through the door panels; especially in older car as the sealing wears. I'd recommend renting a newer car if you can, as the seals should be more effective.

Keep in touch as you wait for your SN arrive. We are always here to support you. I wish you peace and comfort as you make your transition

 

[CaptainT]

Thanks, CaptainT, it really means a lot. I am only obtaining the required materials and knowledge at this time, so I have at least a month left here depending on the arrival of my SN. I plan to make use of the CO method as a backup.

I read further into the CO method, sourcing some of the information that you have posted in previous threads as I admire your knowledge of the topic. I'm sure by doing both of those things you will increase your chances.
I just have a couple questions/comments:

1) What type of trays do you plan to use? I have seen postings recommend to use different types of Grills to hold the coals. Although I'm sure your trays will be just as effective provided that they allow the coals to have more surface area expose

2) Good idea with the Gorilla Tape on the air vents, but I just think that often you get a lot of leakage through the door panels; especially in older car as the sealing wears. I'd recommend renting a newer car if you can, as the seals should be more effective.

Keep in touch as you wait for your SN arrive. We are always here to support you. I wish you peace and comfort as you make your transition

Any metal trays are ok as long as you can spread out the coals to give them a good surface area as you say.

The last hire car was very new and compact, so I'm still totally stumped as to how the CO didn't kill me. God moves in mysterious ways haha.

Keep in touch too @deathbyginger and let me know if you need any more CO information. Hoping your day is going ok wherever you are

 

[deathbyginger]

Any metal trays are ok as long as you can spread out the coals to give them a good surface area as you say.

The last hire car was very new and compact, so I'm still totally stumped as to how the CO didn't kill me. God moves in mysterious ways haha.

Keep in touch too @deathbyginger and let me know if you need any more CO information. Hoping your day is going ok wherever you are

Yes that's exactly what I was thinking.
I don't see how you could've went wrong last time, perhaps it was because of the bucket. Who knows. The important thing is that I'm sure you'll find yourself successful with the second attempt.
I'll PM you with any further questions and to keep in touch. Thank you, I hope all is well with you

 

[Rising Phoenix]

You've got to laugh or cry. Failing to kill yourself is a bizarre situation. I feel like Bill Murray in Groundhog day. How hard can it be?!

View attachment 18726

After surviving my CO attempt on the 5th Nov (god knows how, with 2kg of coals in a small car and being knocked out for 7-8 hours) I realise that the delayed side effects from CO poisoning (which appear weeks later) mean if I'm going to try again, it's got to be soon.

So my plan now is: in a week or so (as soon as the SN arrives from Poland) I'll attempt CO again, on the same remote campsite in an even smaller hire car with a different coal set up (after doing more tests with a CO meter). If I wake up from that like last week I'll take the SN/domperidone mix 2 days later in the shepherd's hut there. You'd have to laugh at the comedic value of it all if both of those attempts failed too!

Reasons to do it sooner rather than delay further:
* Don't want side effects of first CO attempt to get severe
* Life situation is still bleak with no chance of improvements
* Don't want to do it in December, close to Xmas, for family reasons

CO has always been my #1 method as it's so clean and simple (or should be!). I like the naturalness of it. Last time when I stepped into the car with the coals I remember nothing, just instant knock-out sleep. No pain. No ingesting drugs or vomiting. No complicated regimes. Yet I survived it so this time SN will have to be up my sleeve.

Any suggestions welcome. Can't get hold of a CO meter that goes up to 10000ppm, only 1000 so will test more with that. Will switch brand of coals. Will test a disposable bbq. Will seal car further. Anyone else with field-tested CO experience please chime in.

Planning it, like last time, actually alleviates the mental suffering of feeling trapped and hopeless. This 2nd attempt can't fail. I ask for Bill Murray's blessing to escape!

If I were to go out with CO I would use the Cogen. But even that has some issues with reliability.