Venting Got into another fight with my boyfriend

[NextBusLeaving]

I'm just so sick of this. I love him but I'm sick and tired of him blaming shit that have nothing to do with my depression. He tells me things like "Your depression isn't real" and "The only reason why you are depressed is because you talk to your depression forum friends, who are lazy and bored people who have nothing better to do with their lives." When I try to tell him I feel lonely, he says things like, "We will build a family together one day. Once you have a family, you won't waste time with such nonsense anymore."
I feel so guilty for everything he sacrificed for me, but at the same time, I feel like I'm slowly being driven insane.
He also blames me for his health problems. Sometimes, he says things like "You are the reason I have hyperthyroidism. If you focused more on the important things in life and filled your head with less nonsense, I would feel so much less stress in my daily life."
I feel so alone. I don't think he really understands me, but he is pretty much my only IRL friend.

He sounds like a narcissist. Im here bc of one of those. Get out, sister, hmu if you need to talk.

 

[LittleJem]

Maybe you can educate your boyfriend a bit more - I hope if he respects you and cares about you he will understand more.

Re depression, I like to show people the PET scans of a depressed brain vs a non-depressed brain. If you look online you can find photos. I have had to (unfortunately) educate my family that depression is a real disabilitiy - and not something I can escape by going on holiday etc... There are lots of good websites explaining depression. Every time I read one that says depression is a serious disability (I think the 2nd leading cause of disability in the world) and also life threatening, even though I suffer with it, I still don't want to believe it - because i want to believe things might improve for me. But this is all over the internet - so the educational materials are definitely out there. Including how to support people wiht depression, how to speak to them, videos, everything educational.

My ex is a bit of a space cadet, and also thinks you can think your way out of depression, because that is what he wants to believe for himself - but I have told him mine is different and I think genetic, and over time I think he has come to understand it a bit more. He even said he would come with me if I go for assisted dying in Switzerland - and that support and friendship entirely blows me away.