Venting Got emotional, SN tomorrow.

[Begotten]

Hello,

Today I'm starting my SN regimen taking the antiemetics and I must be ready to drink the SN tomorrow

I can't remember when was the last time I actually cried, have no clue, it's been years to be honest, but today I got emotional and caught myself crying writing the letters I gonna left for the ones that care about me, yeah I'm kinda of an old school style that's why pen and paper, I guess that's the most difficult part for the ones who is trying to leave this world and that's what probably made myself not be successful on my lame past attempts, the feeling of letting people who doesn't deserve that behind hurt as fuck, but this time there's no way back once I drink my poison and lay down on my bed to the eternal sleep, anyways, just venting a bit about what happened to me today, take care all

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope that you find peace, best wishes.

 

[Begotten]

Updating situation

Last meal before fasting, since it's lunch and I will drink the SN poison in the very middle of night, I'll allow myself to cheat fasting and drink few small cups of coffee and eat some chocolate

 

[jarik]

Updating situation

Last meal before fasting, since it's lunch and I will drink the SN poison in the very middle of night, I'll allow myself to cheat fasting and drink few small cups of coffee and eat some chocolate

Congratulations, I'm happy for you

 

[Onelegman]

I hope everything goes well with the attempt and that you find happiness.

Do not take it bad. Will you make updates?

 

[krnaaTh]

Wish you the best of luck and to find the peace that you deserve at the end.

 

[Begotten]

I hope everything goes well with the attempt and that you find happiness.

Do not take it bad. Will you make updates?

I can make a last update right after drinking yeah, but I plan to just lay down and listen to music.

Wish you the best of luck and to find the peace that you deserve at the end.

I hope everything goes well with the attempt and that you find happiness.

I hope that you find peace, best wishes.

And thank you all for the words.

 

[feelinggloomy]

Peace to you ….. peace

 

[Darocba]

Hope your free!

 

[BARIZON]

hey, are you still here ? if you wanna talk a little it would be great.

 

[feelinggloomy]

Hope things are going in a direction that gives you peace

 

[Raven2]

I'm sorry for whatever it was that brought you to this point and wishing you peace

 

[LostinTime24]

I hope you find peace.

 

[Nothing87]

I am very sorry for all the struggles and pain you felt

I hope you find peace

 

[IwantHappiness]

I'm sorry for whatever it was that brought you to this point and wishing you peace

i think it was planet earth

 

[Beyond_Repair]

Good luck, I hope you're able to find peace with whatever you end up doing

 

[Begotten]

Thank you all for the kind words
I just drunk the SN cup, that's salty as fuck

Now I'm gonna logout, clean my browser and try to relax a bit out of the phone until I sleep

If I don't show up in 24 hours please ban my account someone

Thank you guys, hope we all find the peace we want and see you all in the next life of there's one

 

[BARIZON]

I thought you would decide to stay a little longer. Hope you find peace.

 

[dopaminedeath]

RIP
Thank you for sharing

 

[blackwave]

Wish you safe travels and to get freedom you deserve

 

[rozeske]

I hope you have found the peace you search for 🕊

 

[Onelegman]

R.I.P

 

[BARIZON]

I was talking in private with him yesterday, the problem is his father and grandmother are in the house, so maybe they rescue him before he's dead. I personally wouldn't risk being found, even suggested that he might wait sometime till he got some money to get a hotel room, but he couldn't wait anylonger, he seemed like a nice person, only 26yo, and since he already made a post here about it, i think i can share that he had problem with gambling, and that was the main cause for his CTB. I tried to advise him against it, because his problem was somewhat momentary, but he also had mental health problems since he was a teenager, so maybe his relapse into gambling was to much for him to handle.

He was so determined to do it, to the point of being calm about it, I didn't try too hard to stop him, only made some sugestions about postponing it, maybe try to talk with his close family about his problems, maybe things would look better, but this was futile.

We live in the same country and have the same time zones, he said he would take the SN 1 am, so I had the alarm set to talk with him. But he wasnt online, then I wake up at 5am and checked, he sent me a message 3:20 saying he had taken the last dose of meto and would take SN at 4 am.

He truly had made his mind, seemed like a good person, it sucks that depression seems to aflict the nicest people in our world.

 

[nevermeant2b]

I spoke with him also. It's sad to see he hasn't been online since

 

[BARIZON]

My heart is with you my friend, i could only talk with you one day before you were gone, i felt your pain, i can't say i'm happy for you, i can't think of suicide as something good, but i'm happy you're no longer suffering. When i saw u werent online at 1am I thought you had given life another chance and wasnt planning on doing it, it made me happy, but now you're gone.

I wished I could have said goodbye in person, but anyway, hope your soul and spirit are in a fine place.

 

[Unknown21]

R.I.P.

 

[BARIZON]

Im sorry i couldnt do more

 

[sugarh1gh]

Im sorry i couldnt do more

Hey, just want you to know that none of this is your fault. He made his choice as it is his right. Don't beat yourself up over this.

 

[BARIZON]

Hey, just want you to know that none of this is your fault. He made his choice as it is his right. Don't beat yourself up over this.

He was so young, 26, took his life cause of fucking gambling websites. I know it in my heart he could have a happy life, his problem was short term, this is so sad.

 

[DepressedDude]

He was so young, 26, took his life cause of fucking gambling websites. I know it in my heart he could have a happy life, his problem was short term, this is so sad.

I used to think some things weren't worth killing yourself over but now I think any reasons valid because you can lose the courage to die and be stuck in hell forever like some other users here, myself included.

We all have to die one day anyway.