Venting Got benzos but finances being tracked so can’t buy SN

[5417807]

after telling 3 different services (paramedics, A&E phyc and my main MH team) i want to ctb i got prescribed diazepam to help with impulsive behaviour but it just makes me think I'm one step closer to SN method.
Because I've bought things online before to CTB my financial ins and outs are being so heavily monitored by my husband so I can't buy anything £30+ or from any places but allowed sites/shops and I have to show what I bought irl too (this was backed by my MH team). Feel very stuck atm and I don't know how to get around this, they've thought of everything this time and it's feeling very hopeless

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds like a really awful situation, to me it's so incredibly cruel to try to force someone to stay here, none of us should be obligated to exist. I think that this is why it's a terrible idea being open about wanting to ctb, as pro lifers will never accept the decision to die.

 

[5417807]

That sounds like a really awful situation, to me it's so incredibly cruel to try to force someone to stay here, none of us should be obligated to exist. I think that this is why it's a terrible idea being open about wanting to ctb, as pro lifers will never accept the decision to die.

my partner has previously said they know I will CTB soon and that if it stops my suffering that's okay but I think that changed when we became parents.
my nurse is pro choice though, I've been open my entire life about wanting to so it's be more suspicious if I stopped tbh haha