
NaturalBornNEET
Member
- Feb 22, 2022
- 77
She messaged me after a period of no contact saying she wants to hook up, on April 1st... I brought up the date and she insisted it was just a coincidence. I say we should have dinner someplace beforehand and arrange the whole thing, even said I'd pay for it all including the hotel like a desperate retard. We have dinner and then that was it. She just wanted to leave under the pretext of feeling ill which I just find hard to believe, I pay for everything and don't even get a thank you, she just leaves like that and ghosts me after. All that money wasted and it feels like my punishment for thinking a neuro-atypical male could possibly be worthy of intimacy.
I didn't know my anger issues could get any worse, I am just so bitter, I feel so much hatred and fear for everything that moves and breathes and it is fucking exhausting. I will never experience the privilege of not being terrified of your fellow human beings, or of having a non damaged functioning brain. I just loathe how tenacious and consistent the universe is, how ungenerous and unwavering it is in its laws. It allows no room for lucky anomalies, glitches or miracles, you're just born with a certain amount of fortune and continue to get that same amount of fortune your entire life.
I didn't know my anger issues could get any worse, I am just so bitter, I feel so much hatred and fear for everything that moves and breathes and it is fucking exhausting. I will never experience the privilege of not being terrified of your fellow human beings, or of having a non damaged functioning brain. I just loathe how tenacious and consistent the universe is, how ungenerous and unwavering it is in its laws. It allows no room for lucky anomalies, glitches or miracles, you're just born with a certain amount of fortune and continue to get that same amount of fortune your entire life.