veryhappyhuman
Specialist
- Aug 25, 2021
- 340
Yep, I'm signing off with one of the iconic lines from my most favorite movie, Joker (2019).
I still have some time left for my ctb, but police in my country seem to review recent internet history even for ctb cases, so I'm checking out of here in advance (and wiping my devices) to avoid any potential problems to the forum. I will be self-banning in about 24 hours. So if I've been an ass to any of you, now's your last chance to let me know
My method of choice is SN. I think I've done enough research, and came up with a fairly detailed regimen. But since then, new updates to PPH have forced me to make some changes to it, mainly around the propranolol and benzos. My prep is all done, I have the meds, room's booked, transport's booked, financials handled, and even the suicide note has been written.
This forum has been a godsend in my last days. I used to feel so alone in my mental health struggles, and connecting with many others in my situation here has made a world of difference. I'd daresay it's been better than whatever little "therapy" I got from The Professionals™ before giving up. I've vented a lot about my shitty life here and received a TON of support and understanding. The wealth of information available here has helped me avoid a brutal end and/or lifelong disability. Contrary to what the pro-lifers may say, this forum has in no way encouraged or influenced me to commit suicide.
Considering all my epic fails before this, I'm not very optimistic about this attempt, even though I'm much more prepared this time in every way. I can already imagine a number of possibilities -- my parents blocking me, my SN getting taken away, SI overpowering me in my last moments, my SN being bad quality, the hotel staff saving me etc etc. If I do end up surviving, I'll make sure to come back and post a detailed account of what went down. So if my username still remains struck out after the end of this month (giving time for recovery, psych ward stay etc), you can assume I've been successful.
I hope you, my fellow sufferers, find some peace in your lives. As for those who end up committing ctb, I wish for you a painless and quick exit. Goodbye!
I still have some time left for my ctb, but police in my country seem to review recent internet history even for ctb cases, so I'm checking out of here in advance (and wiping my devices) to avoid any potential problems to the forum. I will be self-banning in about 24 hours. So if I've been an ass to any of you, now's your last chance to let me know
My method of choice is SN. I think I've done enough research, and came up with a fairly detailed regimen. But since then, new updates to PPH have forced me to make some changes to it, mainly around the propranolol and benzos. My prep is all done, I have the meds, room's booked, transport's booked, financials handled, and even the suicide note has been written.
This forum has been a godsend in my last days. I used to feel so alone in my mental health struggles, and connecting with many others in my situation here has made a world of difference. I'd daresay it's been better than whatever little "therapy" I got from The Professionals™ before giving up. I've vented a lot about my shitty life here and received a TON of support and understanding. The wealth of information available here has helped me avoid a brutal end and/or lifelong disability. Contrary to what the pro-lifers may say, this forum has in no way encouraged or influenced me to commit suicide.
Considering all my epic fails before this, I'm not very optimistic about this attempt, even though I'm much more prepared this time in every way. I can already imagine a number of possibilities -- my parents blocking me, my SN getting taken away, SI overpowering me in my last moments, my SN being bad quality, the hotel staff saving me etc etc. If I do end up surviving, I'll make sure to come back and post a detailed account of what went down. So if my username still remains struck out after the end of this month (giving time for recovery, psych ward stay etc), you can assume I've been successful.
I hope you, my fellow sufferers, find some peace in your lives. As for those who end up committing ctb, I wish for you a painless and quick exit. Goodbye!
