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ValideSultana

Student
Dec 2, 2019
119
Hi, I feel like such a failure. I could not go through with it. I opted for partial suspension and spent over 45 minutes in my wardrobe crying and contemplating my decision. Any tips on how to get over SI? I need to do this by next year.

You're most definitely NOT a failure. Don't even say that, don't even think it!
 
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jgm63

Visionary
Oct 28, 2019
2,467
Wow that's a hell of disclaimer :halo:
Yes. If for any reason this site ever came under closer scrutiny, I would prefer to not be seen to be "encouraging" anyone to do anything....

I'm also in discussion with the admins / staff, to see if some additional wording might be added to the rules during sign up, to help with this.....
 
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Azzy69

Azzy69

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Aug 8, 2019
605
Sorry to see you feeling so bad. But, I can't believe you're any of the things you think you are.

I'm on disability too. It's a flipping trap. I've tried for almost 20 years to get off of it and FINALLY am just about there. I won't go into the difficulty and frustration I've had to go through but I'm 20 years older now and almost at retirement age. Regardless, though, I found a way off and that has help me a lot. I'm not telling you to do the same but I am trying to relate that I know how isolating being on it can be. I don't have friends or family either.

I don't have any magic words and I know you're not asking for them but I hope you find a way to feel better. Whether it's ending your life of living it a while longer.
thanks for you kind words, Dawgmom. So sorry about your experience. Sending love and strength your way
 
Azzy69

Azzy69

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Aug 8, 2019
605
ok, well we'll try to support you in whatever you decide you wish to do....
If you've firmly decided you intend to CTB, have you given thought to different methods ?
e.g. would SN perhaps be a better method than hanging ?

Disclaimer :
Please note that I strongly recommend against taking any action that would cause harm to yourself. Please seek assistance in any and every way possible to prevent harm coming to yourself. I do not encourage you or anyone to do anything that would cause harm to yourself or themselves. You alone must decide upon your actions and take full responsibility for them, and you should always favour seeking help and keeping yourself out of harm's way. I repeat, please seek assistance in any and every possible way to prevent harm coming to yourself.
I think SN is on my list, though I am scared out of my brains to purchase it incase the package arrives when I am not home and my mother finds it.
You're most definitely NOT a failure. Don't even say that, don't even think it!
Thanks I appreciate it
 
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jgm63

Visionary
Oct 28, 2019
2,467
I think SN is on my list, though I am scared out of my brains to purchase it incase the package arrives when I am not home and my mother finds it.

Thanks I appreciate it
Could you get a po box ? Try googling : po box rental near me
Could you get a po box ? Try googling : po box rental near me
or even better, try googling for "virtual address po box" or something like that.... If you can get a "real street address", that doesn't have a po box number, then you can still order from people who have a "no po boxes" policy....
 
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c824767

Specialist
Sep 2, 2019
358
I do not want to see another year. I do not bring any happiness into the world so I do not see any point in continuing. I am ugly, a failure, worthless, dumb, and a loser.
we are not here to bring happiness. we are here to bring honesty authenticity realism critical thinking inventiveness thinking outside the box. Happiness and the yes culture with all its fake optimism or even if it is not fake, everyone cannot participate in it because we all have our limits.
 
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Azzy69

Azzy69

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Aug 8, 2019
605
we are not here to bring happiness. we are here to bring honesty authenticity realism critical thinking inventiveness thinking outside the box. Happiness and the yes culture with all its fake optimism or even if it is not fake, everyone cannot participate in it because we all have our limits.
Wise, wise words.
 
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c824767

Specialist
Sep 2, 2019
358
I believe in you
thank you. I am trying to find a voice instead of being quagmired in suicidal ideation. I am sort of intellectual and want to express my disgust with society.
 
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Azzy69

Azzy69

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Aug 8, 2019
605
thank you. I am trying to find a voice instead of being quagmired in suicidal ideation. I am sort of intellectual and want to express my disgust with society.
Lol I have same view on society.... can't stand it... everything about it
 
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jgm63

Visionary
Oct 28, 2019
2,467
Good idea! I will look into that. Will people working at post office be suspicious of package tho?
If you were just ordering SN and SN-related stuff, then I don't think you need to worry too much....
 
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c824767

Specialist
Sep 2, 2019
358
If you were just ordering SN and SN-related stuff, then I don't think you need to worry too much....
I ordered Butanediol a few months ago, Canadian Customs had just put an import licence requirement on it in July 2019. It was sent back to Texas and I got my money back, sans shipping.....ha
 
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Jean4

Jean4

Remember. I am ALWAYS right.... until I’m not
Apr 28, 2019
7,557
You aren't a failure and we still support you no matter what you choose to do.

I just woke up and came here first thing for an update on you. You see. You matter. People care. :)
 
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Azzy69

Azzy69

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Aug 8, 2019
605
You aren't a failure and we still support you no matter what you choose to do.

I just woke up and came here first thing for an update on you. You see. You matter. People care. :)
Your post made me smile for the first time in weeks. Thank you ❤
 
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SinisterKid

SinisterKid

Visionary
Jun 1, 2019
2,113
I shall close this for the time being. Please do not ban member.
 
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