Goodbye thread

[fightclub17]

Hi SaSu,

I know I haven't been on the forum long. But I came, I saw and I conquered that SN.

This will be my second attempt (first failed jumping). If you want to know my reasons to ctb, please feel free to read my prior posts.

I wouldn't wish this level of physical and mental pain on my worst enemy. I don't want to be a burden anymore. I just want to rest in peace.🕊

I once lived a normal life. Didn't know about this suicidal world. How I wish I could rewind time.

If all goes to plan, I should be catching the bus on the 9th of April.

My protocol is:

• Metoclopramide 3x 10mg 1 day before
• Metoclopramide 2x 10mg morning of
• 12 hours solid fasting
• 2 hours liquid fasting
• Paracetamol 1000mg + 1mg lorazepam 1.5 hours before
• Metoclopramide 30mg + zantac 300mg 1 hour before
• 16mg odansetron + 10mg lorazepam 30 mins before
• 50mg propranalol 15 mins before
• 2x cups 25g SN

I hope this succeeds. If it doesn't my life will become worse than the living hell I'm already in. I am determined to see it through. In the event my phone gets taken and I appear to be logged on but don't say anything, you can assume I succeeded...

Ya'll have been the most kind and empathetic family, with a tinge of audacity. It was a pleasure.

 

[geepeedee]

you will be missed.

 

[Matchaaa]

I hope you find peace and relief you are search for,good luck.
wishing you all the best <3

 

[soonatpeace777888]

I hope you don't experience anymore unnecessary suffering.

 

[ificouldlivewithout]

You were very brave and I'm so sorry life failed you. I hope you can rest peacefully

 

[Macedonian1987]

I read most of your posts here on this forum and I know how much you are in a physical pain and suffering on a daily basis. I trully hope and wish for your suffering to end and for you to wake up in a better place than this world.

 

[fightclub17]

you will be missed.

I hope you find peace and relief you are search for,good luck.
wishing you all the best <3

I hope you don't experience anymore unnecessary suffering.

You were very brave and I'm so sorry life failed you. I hope you can rest peacefully

I read most of your posts here on this forum and I know how much you are in a physical pain and suffering on a daily basis. I trully hope and wish for your suffering to end and for you to wake up in a better place than this world.

Thank you all! who knows if suicide is considered a sin and can influence future lives if reincarnated. I'll happily settle for non-existence.

 

[chudcell]

Thank you all! who knows if suicide is considered a sin and can influence future lives if reincarnated. I'll happily settle for non-existence.

Best wishes for your journey to the other side may you find the peace you long for

 

[kk13]

I really hope you find peace.

 

[meddle]

oh oh no i dont know what to say. i just was hoping so so much that you will heal from your trauma and will have normal life again. maybe i was delulu, but i sincerely hoped that you wont ctb

im so so so sorry. i guess there really are some limits. i guess when those limits are crossed, there is not so much we can do. im just extremely sad to see you leaving. at least this attempt wont end in more suffering like your previous one. im so sorry life brought you to this point. im so sorry you are fed up with life. im so sorry you decided to end it. i will remember you for my life. may your desicion bring you peace, i hope that you wont feel alone in your last moments. we are here for you, we love you

oh and also you dont have to drink 25×2 sn. one cup will work just fine. if you drink too much you will vomit

 

[fightclub17]

oh oh no i dont know what to say. i just was hoping so so much that you will heal from your trauma and will have normal life again. maybe i was delulu, but i sincerely hoped that you wont ctb

im so so so sorry. i guess there really are some limits. i guess when those limits are crossed, there is not so much we can do. im just extremely sad to see you leaving. at least this attempt wont end in more suffering like your previous one. im so sorry life brought you to this point. im so sorry you are fed up with life. im so sorry you decided to end it. i will remember you for my life. may your desicion bring you peace, i hope that you wont feel alone in your last moments. we are here for you, we love you

I think you and I were both delulu lol. I really thought I could fight this. But I have no energy left. I'm too broken, in chronic pain and traumatised. Any little inconvenience makes me think 'kill myself'. Once you're aware of the pink elephant you can't stop thinking about it. My trauma is visible and will be for the rest of my life. I have no quality of life. Hopefully I can be a cautionary tale to anyone considering jumping as a method. Thank you, pray this succeeds

 

[Aflame5926]

many went before you, many will follow the very same path.

take care

(this image just make me laugh hope it will do the same to you)

 

[meddle]

I think you and I were both delulu lol. I really thought I could fight this. But I have no energy left. I'm too broken, in chronic pain and traumatised. Any little inconvenience makes me think 'kill myself'. Once you're aware of the pink elephant you can't stop thinking about it. My trauma is visible and will be for the rest of my life. I have no quality of life. Hopefully I can be a cautionary tale to anyone considering jumping as a method. Thank you, pray this succeeds

maybe there is still something left in you? hope, will to live? dont want to pressure ofc, you are the one living with your body... but many people live with visible traumas and its even not their fault they had those traumas (and its also not your fault as well). maybe there is something, that could still be done? maybe psychiatrists, traumatologists, algologysts could help you? im still being delulu, hahaha, but im just extremely sad that such nice person suffers so much and will kill herself. its not fair of course you are the one who makes the decision, but... why some rational decisions are still so sad?

 

[Epilogue]

Hope you find peace.

 

[thelostautistic]

I'm very sad to see you go. We'll miss you here

 

[fightclub17]

maybe there is still something left in you? hope, will to live? dont want to pressure ofc, you are the one living with your body... but many people live with visible traumas and its even not their fault they had those traumas (and its also not your fault as well). maybe there is something, that could still be done? maybe psychiatrists, traumatologists, algologysts could help you? im still being delulu, hahaha, but im just extremely sad that such nice person suffers so much and will kill herself. its not fair of course you are the one who makes the decision, but... why some rational decisions are still so sad?

I'm literally facing the possibility of losing my leg. I know many people live disabled lives with visible trauma. It's just so different when it's due to a suicide attempt. The shame, judgement, isolation and PTSD is immense. I'm merely existing, the things that made me me feel inaccessible. I fought for this long... I can't take it anymore

 

[uklad38]

I hope you find the peace you are looking for.