As my date of leaving this planet is closing in, since I have my AE now, I get mixed feelings. At times I feel ready to leave, no matter what I leave behind because this pain and decline is too much. At other times I feel this regret and almost sort of guilt for leaving my loved ones behind, but in this case I feel like I need to be selfish and just leave, because I can't live anymore I am just actively dying by the day and moment, this isn't a life worth living. It just sucks it got to this. Tomorrow could very well be the day, I got 1 shot at this, whatever happens, I'll make another thread most likely and just you guys know that I appreciate you no matter what and that you are loved no matter what, we all are, but our circumstances pushing us to this point, is not without a reason. If you're here, speak up, let it be known if you want help, if not that's also fine, this isn't about judging people for their choices and decisions, but about being understanding.
As I am writing this I feel more relief just thinking about me ending up dead, than continuining like this. Tomorrow will tell where I am really at. I don't have benzos or propranolol, but at the very least got enough domperidon for a stat dose and some more. I was never much of a vomiter, but who knows what'll happen tomorrow. If everything goes as planned, here is my protocol for now.
Today
18:00 10mg domperidon
19:00 last small meal and no water until tomorrow
24:00 10 mg domperidon
Tomorrow
8:00 1000 mg of paracetamol
8:15 30mg of domperidon ( The PPEH said that 20mg is sufficient, any thoughts would be appreciated )
8:30 2 tablets of my antacid
9:00 25grams of SN got 2 extra glasses with half that just in case I vomit
The times may be different depending on the circumstances at home, but I don't really have another choice anymore.
As I am writing this I feel more relief just thinking about me ending up dead, than continuining like this. Tomorrow will tell where I am really at. I don't have benzos or propranolol, but at the very least got enough domperidon for a stat dose and some more. I was never much of a vomiter, but who knows what'll happen tomorrow. If everything goes as planned, here is my protocol for now.
Today
18:00 10mg domperidon
19:00 last small meal and no water until tomorrow
24:00 10 mg domperidon
Tomorrow
8:00 1000 mg of paracetamol
8:15 30mg of domperidon ( The PPEH said that 20mg is sufficient, any thoughts would be appreciated )
8:30 2 tablets of my antacid
9:00 25grams of SN got 2 extra glasses with half that just in case I vomit
The times may be different depending on the circumstances at home, but I don't really have another choice anymore.
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