Venting Goodbye Thread Etiquette

[Darkhaven]

I always lose it when people go on goodbye threads and then keep stalking the person's story to see if they were seen recently on the site.
Or when they start speculating about the possible outcome.
People lack sense.
Best way, in my opinion, for people who want to make a goodbye thread without being disrespected, is to announce that it will be done in the coming hours/days, don't give many details.
Should something fail there is always the possibility of coming back here at a later time to tell how it was.

 

[Berlin76]

I always lose it when people go on goodbye threads and then keep stalking the person's story to see if they were seen recently on the site.
Or when they start speculating about the possible outcome.
People lack sense.

People are not talking about her being still here but just the way she went trough the site and how she sets up things is just very manipulative. That's why multiple treads with her in it where closed.

And still she goes on during suicide.

So see the bigger picture thats all.

. Never seen a person here go like this did you?

 

[Darkhaven]

People are not talking about her being still here but just the way she went trough the site and how she sets up things is just very manipulative. That's why multiple treads with her in it where closed.

And still she goes on during suicide.

So see the bigger picture thats all.

. Never seen a person here go like this did you?

I'm not talking of this thread.
I'm talking about several other threads i have seen being taken from the original OP's, who sometimes are most likely dead, and transformed into a stalking and speculation platform for miserable trolls who seem to get pleasure from talking about the other person's death.

 

[Astral316]

This is a message board to discuss suicide methods, nothing here is "socially acceptable."

If you want to attract respectful well-wishers rent a funeral parlor and die naturally.

 

[LMFAO FOCKERS]

Many treads of people where you came you created a setting to do as you want and than when it dont go your way you lash out to them.

And then you go in the victim roll like you did more than once now, and also like now.
You start pointing at others but you started it yourself.

Also like you are acting now and going on while attempting suicide? is just to weird and not what one would do who is Really attempting suicide.

The one who is messed up is you.

I was thinking the same thing as I read that last post!

1. Another case of overusing "white women tears"
2. World's smallest violin
3. Oh yeah and while I'm at it let me do my final act of narcissism by:
   • getting my last insult in as I rise up and assert myself and my ego above others.
   • choose not to acknowledge my faux pas
   • try to make everyone feel bad with my upcoming exit date to extract excess sympathy and more responses because after all class is in session

I had to revisit this thread. Needed some humor with my morning coffee. @Blackjack keep up the great work!!!

 

[Empty Smile]

When it's my time, I don't plan on making a goodbye thread. This has become a second tier shit show, just like Facebook.

 

[Stan]

Somewhat hesitant to say something as its obvious that the topic has polarised the board to a level and I don't really want to add to drama or be perceived as if I am imposing a will on others.

Saying that, going to throw my own advice out of the window and stick my toe in. I can only give my own opinion from my own angle. Everyone comes from a different place regarding what they think is ok and what is not. Not here to evangelise a behaviour to be adopted or preach to the choir.

I have seen some terrible goodbye threads, and I mean events where for someone (me basically) who claims to have left emotions behind a while back was surprised with how upset I was at the end of some goodbyes. There is the ongoing debate on whether goodbye threads should be allowed or not and I think that conversation will go on for eternity. It's a real case of there is no right or wrong there.

I have a real visual mind, which means that situations and thoughts get translated into theatre or movie style scenes in my head, with actors and scripts and a music score. When I see a goodbye thread go wrong, this is how it plays out in my mind. The setting is a church, the pews packed with people wearing sombre clothing and a coffin placed in front of the alter. Close family friend goes up to the pulpit and starts their eulogy. 10 seconds into the start of them speaking someone in the congregation stands up and shouts "what did they die of?" Then another shouts "was it really painful" another goes "did they shit the bed when they died?" "they are not really dead, open the coffin to prove it".

I look at my personal situation. I am alone. I won't have a wake. Funeral will be by the government to dispose of my body in a legal fashion as not to cause a health issue for the community. I have to notify the landlord via delayed email that there is a dead body in their apartment because nobody will find me till the rent stops being paid and they enter the premises to get their money or kick me out. I am alone. My only contact with any world is through this site with cyber friends, whether they be real or not. When I say goodbye here, it will be to get one last piece of contact with someone or some people as not to make it so cold and empty as my life has been for many years. I will be afraid. I will be petrified probably. But I will also weep, mainly for the fact that I am alone and have left zero impact in my passing.

For my goodbye thread thread to turn into a shit show would be the last thing I would possibly see. A grim event has become even worse. For what I was hoping for was for someone to give me just a mere passing thought that I existed would have given me some comfort. To see someone say "yeah, attention seeker, we will see him tomorrow" or " glad that waste of space has gone" would just underline my reason for going. I don't need help to keep my head underwater and drown, I am doing a good enough job on my own.

Not really sure what I am trying to say here as I am sure a lot of people may put a spin on my opinion and throw "what makes you so superior?" which for some reason has been thrown at me a few times. The church imagery I relayed before says for me, there is a time and a place. Giving you my personal and very intimate thoughts on my last few moments is to relay that there is a person involved in this. They may be very scared. They maybe having serious SI issues. They may just want to know that in their last few moments they are not alone. That may not be the same for everyone, just giving my perspective of me and my time. I may not be alone there with those thoughts, there maybe others out there that this plays no factor in their thinking.

@Darkhaven actually approached this subject with a lot of sense. let's not talk about what for some is perceived as an issue without coming up with some practical solutions. I will be taking on board their thoughts about having a thread the day before outlining my itinerary and method and posting a link to that in my goodbye statement. I would near enough guarantee though that someone will skip right past it and ask what is going on.

As a personal statement, what ever you think. @Blackjack is now in her last day or so for those that didn't know.

 

[Berlin76]

Somewhat hesitant to say something as its obvious that the topic has polarised the board to a level and I don't really want to add to drama or be perceived as if I am imposing a will on others.

Saying that, going to throw my own advice out of the window and stick my toe in. I can only give my own opinion from my own angle. Everyone comes from a different place regarding what they think is ok and what is not. Not here to evangelise a behaviour to be adopted or preach to the choir.

I have seen some terrible goodbye threads, and I mean events where for someone (me basically) who claims to have left emotions behind a while back was surprised with how upset I was at the end of some goodbyes. There is the ongoing debate on whether goodbye threads should be allowed or not and I think that conversation will go on for eternity. It's a real case of there is no right or wrong there.

I have a real visual mind, which means that situations and thoughts get translated into theatre or movie style scenes in my head, with actors and scripts and a music score. When I see a goodbye thread go wrong, this is how it plays out in my mind. The setting is a church, the pews packed with people wearing sombre clothing and a coffin placed in front of the alter. Close family friend goes up to the pulpit and starts their eulogy. 10 seconds into the start of them speaking someone in the congregation stands up and shouts "what did they die of?" Then another shouts "was it really painful" another goes "did they shit the bed when they died?" "they are not really dead, open the coffin to prove it".

I look at my personal situation. I am alone. I won't have a wake. Funeral will be by the government to dispose of my body in a legal fashion as not to cause a health issue for the community. I have to notify the landlord via delayed email that there is a dead body in their apartment because nobody will find me till the rent stops being paid and they enter the premises to get their money or kick me out. I am alone. My only contact with any world is through this site with cyber friends, whether they be real or not. When I say goodbye here, it will be to get one last piece of contact with someone or some people as not to make it so cold and empty as my life has been for many years. I will be afraid. I will be petrified probably. But I will also weep, mainly for the fact that I am alone and have left zero impact in my passing.

For my goodbye thread thread to turn into a shit show would be the last thing I would possibly see. A grim event has become even worse. For what I was hoping for was for someone to give me just a mere passing thought that I existed would have given me some comfort. To see someone say "yeah, attention seeker, we will see him tomorrow" or " glad that waste of space has gone" would just underline my reason for going. I don't need help to keep my head underwater and drown, I am doing a good enough job on my own.

Not really sure what I am trying to say here as I am sure a lot of people may put a spin on my opinion and throw "what makes you so superior?" which for some reason has been thrown at me a few times. The church imagery I relayed before says for me, there is a time and a place. Giving you my personal and very intimate thoughts on my last few moments is to relay that there is a person involved in this. They may be very scared. They maybe having serious SI issues. They may just want to know that in their last few moments they are not alone. That may not be the same for everyone, just giving my perspective of me and my time. I may not be alone there with those thoughts, there maybe others out there that this plays no factor in their thinking.

@Darkhaven actually approached this subject with a lot of sense. let's not talk about what for some is perceived as an issue without coming up with some practical solutions. I will be taking on board their thoughts about having a thread the day before outlining my itinerary and method and posting a link to that in my goodbye statement. I would near enough guarantee though that someone will skip right past it and ask what is going on.

As a personal statement, what ever you think. @Blackjack is now in her last day or so for those that didn't know.

Everyone knows she is in her last days.

Thats the whole point together with why she is preaching and also setting it up a class. She had several altercations with different people and multiple treads close because of the way she is talking about subject or just stabbing with words.
Its just makes it more weird

What is she trying to prove
Why lashing out when she called it up on herself
Why wanting the attention while she has the focus on suicide or here?
And still find the time to do all this

 

[Stan]

Everyone knows she is in her last days.

Thats the whole point together with why she is preaching and also setting it up a class. She had several altercations with different people and multiple treads close because of the way she is talking about subject or just stabbing with words.
Its just makes it more weird

What is she trying to prove
Why lashing out when she called it up on herself
Why wanting the attention while she has the focus on suicide or here?
And still find the time to do all this

Sometimes it is difficult but here is what I try to do sometimes. Separate the words from the intention or principle of the message. This is a forum, our only vehicle for getting a message across is by words. Some may like the style of others, some may not. Different people and cultures have different styles in communicating. A few years back I had the pleasure of working in Eastern Europe. I am a Brit, re known for delivering messages at times in a very softly softly way. Eastern Europe, blunt as hell. They make a statement of fact without frills or anything fancy. When i first encountered it i thought they were insulting me until I wrapped my head around the fact they were just very efficient at getting their message across. Which is when I was able to just look at the intention of the statement rather than the style.

I am not going to put words into Blackjack's mouth or have the right to re interpret hers or anyone else's statements or opinion. That's not in my gift or capacity anyone elses. But perhaps let's separate the style from the principle. If people disagree with both, that's entirely down to them, if you agree with the principle but found the way the message was delivered was not to your liking, then rephrase your opinion supporting the principle. Words are the only thing we have on this board, its not as if we can set up a phone conference that we can hear people's tone of voice that adds another dimension to how a message is delivered. I believe that's why emoji's were created to help bridge that gap.

 

[JimFord99]

Should we not treat everyone with more respect and as equal, please? I don't like the bitching just recently. If you don't like a members post, ignore it but please do not bitch about it.

 

[LMFAO FOCKERS]

Sometimes it is difficult but here is what I try to do sometimes. Separate the words from the intention or principle of the message. This is a forum, our only vehicle for getting a message across is by words. Some may like the style of others, some may not. Different people and cultures have different styles in communicating. A few years back I had the pleasure of working in Eastern Europe. I am a Brit, re known for delivering messages at times in a very softly softly way. Eastern Europe, blunt as hell. They make a statement of fact without frills or anything fancy. When i first encountered it i thought they were insulting me until I wrapped my head around the fact they were just very efficient at getting their message across. Which is when I was able to just look at the intention of the statement rather than the style.

I am am not going to put words into Blackjack's mouth or have the right to re interpret hers or anyone else's statements or opinion. That's not in my gift or capacity anyone elses. But perhaps let's separate the style from the principle. If people disagree with both, that's entirely down to them, if you agree with the principle but found the way the message was delivered was not to your liking, then rephrase your opinion supporting the principle. Words are the only thing we have on this board, its not as if we can set up a phone conference that we can hear people's tone of voice that adds another dimension to how a message is delivered. I believe that's why emoji's were created to help bridge that gap.

I'm sorry. A person is not gonna directly insult me or anyone else around me and then I just say to myself "Let me look at their intentions and ignore all the hurled insults spewed."

I'm just not built to be a pushover and I dont tolerate bullying!

Lets not forget about the unprovoked attack on ProlongedSentence (which I reported) stating "Don't let the door hit ya in the ass on the way out Prolonged!" Its was undeserved and ProlongedSentence left the sight because of it. Who the heck does that??


So...Ummmmmmm. Nope!!! Not gonna do it. Its just not in my DNA. If you wanna make excuses while someone is nasty, insults, kicks people then runs to a corner crying manipulative white woman tears then thats on you. That's EXACTLY the reason this type of crap is accepted in the world. But I dont have to accept it.

The funny thing is I did agree with the general sentiment but I won't tolerate the nasty...I just won't. I let it pass another time. But nope, not today!!!

 

[Berlin76]

I'm sorry. A person is not gonna directly insult me or anyone else around me and then I just say to myself "Let me look at their intentions and ignore all the hurled insults spewed."

I'm just not built to be a pushover and I dont tolerate bullying!

Lets not forget about the unprovoked attack on ProlongedSentence stating "Don't let the door hit ya in the ass on the way out Prolonged!" Its was undeserved and ProlongedSentence left the sight because of it. Who the heck does that??


So...Ummmmmmm. Nope!!! Not gonna do it. Its just not in my DNA. If you wanna make excuses while someone is nasty, insults, kicks people then runs to a corner crying manipulative white woman tears then thats on you. That's EXACTLY the reason this type of crap is accepted in the world. But I dont have to accept it.

The funny thing is I did agree with the general sentiment but I won't tolerate the nasty...I just won't. I let it pass another time. But nope, not today!!!

Well said.

Especially about how she kicks around good to point that out.

 

[omoidarui]

For my goodbye thread thread to turn into a shit show would be the last thing I would possibly see. A grim event has become even worse. For what I was hoping for was for someone to give me just a mere passing thought that I existed would have given me some comfort. To see someone say "yeah, attention seeker, we will see him tomorrow" or " glad that waste of space has gone" would just underline my reason for going. I don't need help to keep my head underwater and drown, I am doing a good enough job on my own.

If you want your goodbyes to be special - and that's completely understandable, and heartwarming you would want to spend your last moments with this forum's members - why not follow a handful of people you trust, then make a private profile post when the time is right so only they can comment? I don't agree with the principle of the original post. I'm not surprised there is a presupposition that a Goodbye poster is open to technical questions when they post in "Suicide Discussion". There's no malicious intent when it helps others know what to expect with that method.

People who throw insults are warned/banned

 

[Stan]

If you want your goodbyes to be special - and that's completely understandable, and heartwarming you would want to spend your last moments with this forum's members - why not follow a handful of people you trust, then make a private profile post when the time is right so only they can comment? I don't agree with the principle of the original post. I'm not surprised there is a presupposition that a Goodbye poster is open to technical questions when they post in "Suicide Discussion". There's no malicious intent when it helps others know what to expect with that method.

Again, another good practical suggestion! We would be more productive and better equipped if we dealt with situations in that way of coming up with potential solutions that a majority would go 'yeah, that works for me'. We have may have problems thinking in a clear way at times, but as a collective I bet there are ideas and ways to get round certain things.

 

[Mud.]

If she just wanted to say goodbye than she should have started a Goodbye thread instead of a Method thread.
When you start a Method thread you have no business complaining when people start discussing that Method, because hey, that's where Method threads were meant for.

 

[Chronicillness]

Your ego is stratospheric, you'd think that being on a forum for those waiting to CTB would leave you more humbled in your vocabulary, but you choose to act out your projections. Most people CTB without saying a word to anyone about it. You put way too much significance on your departure; you've been here all this time, but yet you still don't understand how utterly insignificant you are. Your speech is reminiscent of someone who lived a Noble life only to succumb to a disease that you feel should be burdened only by the peasants below you.

Nonetheless, I hope that you find lasting relief with whatever you're dealing with.

 

[justanotherday]

It's absurd that this even has to be said but apparently some of you were born with no common sense or basic manners. So this is for you. Goodbye Etiquette 101. Class is now in session.

When someone is in their final minutes or hours on this earth and posts a Goodbye thread here, your one & only job is to wish them well, a peaceful journey, and/or any other encouraging words or sentiments to help them feel supported and cared about on their way out.

It is NOT appropriate for you to hijack that person's thread in their last moments here for your own interests to ask about methods, quantities or otherwise derailing the conversation entirely. It is crude, rude & downright socially unacceptable. I see it time & again and am increasingly flabbergasted at how tone-deaf some of you are.

In the name of everything that is good & holy, Just. Stop. Hijacking. Goodbye. Threads. Class dismissed.

Yes, you are right.

 

[Jean4]

I look at my personal situation. I am alone. I won't have a wake. Funeral will be by the government to dispose of my body in a legal fashion as not to cause a health issue for the community. I have to notify the landlord via delayed email that there is a dead body in their apartment because nobody will find me till the rent stops being paid and they enter the premises to get their money or kick me out. I am alone. My only contact with any world is through this site with cyber friends, whether they be real or not. When I say goodbye here, it will be to get one last piece of contact with someone or some people as not to make it so cold and empty as my life has been for many years. I will be afraid. I will be petrified probably. But I will also weep, mainly for the fact that I am alone and have left zero impa

my

Somewhat hesitant to say something as its obvious that the topic has polarised the board to a level and I don't really want to add to drama or be perceived as if I am imposing a will on others.

Saying that, going to throw my own advice out of the window and stick my toe in. I can only give my own opinion from my own angle. Everyone comes from a different place regarding what they think is ok and what is not. Not here to evangelise a behaviour to be adopted or preach to the choir.

I have seen some terrible goodbye threads, and I mean events where for someone (me basically) who claims to have left emotions behind a while back was surprised with how upset I was at the end of some goodbyes. There is the ongoing debate on whether goodbye threads should be allowed or not and I think that conversation will go on for eternity. It's a real case of there is no right or wrong there.

I have a real visual mind, which means that situations and thoughts get translated into theatre or movie style scenes in my head, with actors and scripts and a music score. When I see a goodbye thread go wrong, this is how it plays out in my mind. The setting is a church, the pews packed with people wearing sombre clothing and a coffin placed in front of the alter. Close family friend goes up to the pulpit and starts their eulogy. 10 seconds into the start of them speaking someone in the congregation stands up and shouts "what did they die of?" Then another shouts "was it really painful" another goes "did they shit the bed when they died?" "they are not really dead, open the coffin to prove it".

I look at my personal situation. I am alone. I won't have a wake. Funeral will be by the government to dispose of my body in a legal fashion as not to cause a health issue for the community. I have to notify the landlord via delayed email that there is a dead body in their apartment because nobody will find me till the rent stops being paid and they enter the premises to get their money or kick me out. I am alone. My only contact with any world is through this site with cyber friends, whether they be real or not. When I say goodbye here, it will be to get one last piece of contact with someone or some people as not to make it so cold and empty as my life has been for many years. I will be afraid. I will be petrified probably. But I will also weep, mainly for the fact that I am alone and have left zero impact in my passing.

For my goodbye thread thread to turn into a shit show would be the last thing I would possibly see. A grim event has become even worse. For what I was hoping for was for someone to give me just a mere passing thought that I existed would have given me some comfort. To see someone say "yeah, attention seeker, we will see him tomorrow" or " glad that waste of space has gone" would just underline my reason for going. I don't need help to keep my head underwater and drown, I am doing a good enough job on my own.

Not really sure what I am trying to say here as I am sure a lot of people may put a spin on my opinion and throw "what makes you so superior?" which for some reason has been thrown at me a few times. The church imagery I relayed before says for me, there is a time and a place. Giving you my personal and very intimate thoughts on my last few moments is to relay that there is a person involved in this. They may be very scared. They maybe having serious SI issues. They may just want to know that in their last few moments they are not alone. That may not be the same for everyone, just giving my perspective of me and my time. I may not be alone there with those thoughts, there maybe others out there that this plays no factor in their thinking.

@Darkhaven actually approached this subject with a lot of sense. let's not talk about what for some is perceived as an issue without coming up with some practical solutions. I will be taking on board their thoughts about having a thread the day before outlining my itinerary and method and posting a link to that in my goodbye statement. I would near enough guarantee though that someone will skip right past it and ask what is going on.

As a personal statement, what ever you think. @Blackjack is now in her last day or so for those that didn't know.

What you said about nobody know you existed and all you have are computer friends, it is my life. I'm glad I'm not alone.