Help Goodbye notes

[ghostlysoap]

How do you say goodbye? What do you guys think is the best approach to this?
I tried writing several but they either switch from very loving to very angry..

Please share your experience with this.

 

[ThisIsIt]

I have no idea. I'm in the exact same boat, and I was about to post the exact same topic.

I think I just want to leave one for my mother and father, but I honestly have no idea what to say or how much I should say...

 

[Jblack]

I don't plan on leaving a note. I feel that there is nothing I could write that will have anyone understand the path I selected. It is after all a very personal choice. I know that loved ones are always talking about the pain caused by someone who CTB's. But no one seems to be able to relate to the pain that we are in when we decide to exit. No, we are not irrational and uncaring. Exiting is very difficult choice and for myself a lot of self reflection. Friends and family cannot relate to my inward pain and suffering which is why leaving a note of any kind for me seems pointless.

 

[TheGoodGuy]

I have made several videos 30+ minutes long, some dating back to the summer in 2019 and some recently and also made a note basically explaining some of the same things.

But a note would probably be the best thing since you can explain your reasons whereas the videos might be hard for your parents to watch after your death.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

I would say to keep writing, you're processing stuff. Eventually, you'll get to what you really want and need to say. If you just let it flow for now without self-editing, it could be very revealing to you. For now, it's not about who you're writing to, but about you as you write.

My experience was that I realized my parents are never going to hear me unless they go looking for it, and even then they still might not, but I posted my goodbye letter as a thread. It brought a lot of peace. Since then, it occasionally comes up to write to them because of certain wishes like not wanting an obituary, and I could force that, but I come back to remembering how irrational, unreasonable, and controlling they are, and I remind myself that maintaining the no contact that's been in place for years is still the best option. Forcing what I want brings me down to their level, I would have to lie and manipulate. I realize that it's a relief to just be done with their stuff. After all these years, I'm still coming down from the abuse, control and utter craziness from someone who placed such a high value on being "normal."

 

[PrettyMoose]

I might leave behind a few pages of my favorite quotes pertaining to the shittiness of life, or I may leave nothing at all. Regardless of what any of us leave behind it won't really matter in the long run. Anyone who reads our notes will be dead soon enough themselves, forgetting our notes and us in the process.

 

[one4all]

I've been through a couple of notes. Then i look at what i've written and think that someone is going to misinterpret something and take it the wrong way or out of context. Trying to explain everything seems like i'm rambling on.
I'm thinking the KISS method might be best for me, if i decide to leave one.

 

[LMLN]

I don't think I'll leave much of a note. Just I'm sorry, I love you, it's nobody's fault. This was my decision. They will know why.

 

[littlemisssunshine]

What's the KISS method @one4all

 

[one4all]

@littlemisssunshine Keep It Simple, Stupid.

 

[littlemisssunshine]

Thanks.

 

[ghostlysoap]

I've been through a couple of notes. Then i look at what i've written and think that someone is going to misinterpret something and take it the wrong way or out of context. Trying to explain everything seems like i'm rambling on.
I'm thinking the KISS method might be best for me, if i decide to leave one.

That's my biggest issue as well, because I'm writing one for my partner now and I'm trying to make it so he doesn't feel like it was his fault. I am dreading of surviving because I know my letter will devastate him and he will hate me twice if I live.

I might leave behind a few pages of my favorite quotes pertaining to the shittiness of life, or I may leave nothing at all. Regardless of what any of us leave behind it won't really matter in the long run. Anyone who reads our notes will be dead soon enough themselves, forgetting our notes and us in the process.

You have a very good point actually. I just felt like I need to give specific people some closure and understanding

 

[one4all]

That's my biggest issue as well, because I'm writing one for my partner now and I'm trying to make it so he doesn't feel like it was his fault. I am dreading of surviving because I know my letter will devastate him and he will hate me twice if I live.

Maybe it's better not to try an explain everything and just say what you feel. I don't want anyone to take things wrong and feel they are to blame for my actions. I've gone so far as to look at it from a programmers process, using a flow chart method. Yes i over think things a lot at times, bad habit. I'm thinking for me i might just say something along the lines of "i'm sorry for any grief my actions has caused anyone. But it was time for me to move on and see what is after this life. This was my choice and no one pushed me to it. Expect myself"
But that's what i'm thinking. I'm sure our reasons for CTB are different.

 

[ghostlysoap]

Maybe it's better not to try an explain everything and just say what you feel. I don't want anyone to take things wrong and feel they are to blame for my actions. I've gone so far as to look at it from a programmers process, using a flow chart method. Yes i over think things a lot at times, bad habit. I'm thinking for me i might just say something along the lines of "i'm sorry for any grief my actions has caused anyone. But it was time for me to move on and see what is after this life. This was my choice and no one pushed me to it. Expect myself"
But that's what i'm thinking. I'm sure our reasons for CTB are different.

You have a good point. I wrote out a full letter but I think I might scrap it and just write something short and positive rather than something that would add to the grief.

 

[one4all]

You have a good point. I wrote out a full letter but I think I might scrap it and just write something short and positive rather than something that would add to the grief.

That could be a good start. I do hope you find your peace with what ever you decide.
Sadly i would hate to be CTB and think.. FUCK why did i write that! Meaning i think someone will think they need to blame themselves.

 

[ghostlysoap]

That could be a good start. I do hope you find your peace with what ever you decide.
Sadly i would hate to be CTB and think.. FUCK why did i write that! Meaning i think someone will think they need to blame themselves.

With all the worry I feel about messing up things I'll probably resurrect to edit my letter

 

[one4all]

With all the worry I feel about messing up things I'll probably resurrect to edit my letter

So you will be a Ghost Writer?

 

[ghostlysoap]

So you will be a Ghost Writer?

Oh my days, that's just brilliant, you cracked me up big time, thank you!

 

[one4all]

Oh my days, that's just brilliant, you cracked me up big time, thank you!

I do have my moments. Glad i could add a little humor to your day