I am happy to be here too. And for what its worth im happy there is some community here. She struggled to grow with and around people, she struggled socially, and I think the veneer of the internet provided her the ability to actually be authentically herself. Suicide is described (like most things in life) in a black or a white, but the truth is far more grey. Im not here to change or save, but express the endless love I have for her and all of us that struggle. Im honored that she was able to connect and influence even the most infinitesimal ways.
in her own words "Love throughout all of Samsara" may your cycle continue or end at your own accord.
Authenticity & anonymity are such a huge part of what this site offers. I can make 5 friends in a supermarket queue but I can only discuss shame & suicide here. And as I've said here before as well, I hate to see that people here hurt how I hurt, but in it's warped way that is also comforting & uniting. Some people are lonely in an empty room, some people are lonely in a full room, it makes no difference. I don't participate in other forums, I don't have social media, I was clear when I joined I didn't want friends. But it's so strange, the connection I made with some people here - they could be 20 or 50 or 70, they could be Jamaican or French, they could lie about all of that, their gender, their sexuality, & it wouldn't bother me in the slightest - I still know I've told people here things I will never tell anyone IRL & that is truly priceless & liberating. I hope that is what your sister felt. Apologies for hijacking thread, I will leave you to your grief, this is the first time I've spoken to someone on the "other side" of SaSu & it's been playing heavily on my mind. Good luck with carrying your grief, releasing what you can.
