• New TOR Mirror: suicidffbey666ur5gspccbcw2zc7yoat34wbybqa3b
    oei6bysflbvqd.onion

  • Hey Guest,

    If you want to donate, we have a thread with updated donation options here at this link: About Donations

IHurtTheOneILove

IHurtTheOneILove

Experienced
Dec 16, 2023
205
Hey everyone! I'm at my hotel rn and check out is in an hour which feels like I have an impending death clock lol. I'm gonna shoot myself in the next coming hour with a .45 ACP pistol with an FMJ round (unfortunately not ideal bullet)

I'm unable to acquire any other ammo because of my stay in a psych ward which'll show on my background check.

I've written my letters and I've recorded a final video which I'm going to send to my friends explaining that I'm dead. I'm thinking about reaching out to my ex to ask if they have any questions that'll help with closure but to be honest I feel like they won't care. It's already been 4 months lol

Thank you guys for always being so understanding and welcoming. See ya when I see ya <3
 
  • Hugs
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: whocaresreally, grahf, the_last_race and 37 others
Helvete

Helvete

Member
Apr 9, 2024
82
Love you bro, i hope you can find peace! you are an incredible human being <3
 
  • Love
  • Like
Reactions: Cakeisalie and iloverachel
A

Aprilfarewell4

Specialist
Apr 9, 2024
349
you don't need a background check for ammunition purchases. I'll see you soon.
 
  • Like
  • Informative
Reactions: the_last_race, SMmetalhead36, anonymousbookreader and 2 others
Helvete

Helvete

Member
Apr 9, 2024
82
Just be very aware that fmj goes right through you and can tend to do minimal damage. Surprisingly easy to survive, and i actually have two relatives that have experienced that first hand
 
  • Informative
  • Like
Reactions: the_last_race, Meteora, Cakeisalie and 4 others
R

rozeske

Maybe I am the problem
Dec 2, 2023
2,835
I don't know about gun suicides but you don't seem prepared from the type of ammo to the only 1hr to check out....you never wanna mess up a gun attempt.
 
  • Like
  • Informative
Reactions: the_last_race, Meteora, Cakeisalie and 7 others
A

Aprilfarewell4

Specialist
Apr 9, 2024
349
Just be very aware that fmj goes right through you and can tend to do minimal damage. Surprisingly easy to survive, and i actually have two relatives that have experienced that first hand
back of throat angled 15 degrees upward, the isostatic alone from a 45 acp will liquefy the brainstem. it's enough, more than enough.
 
  • Like
Reactions: the_last_race, Meteora, Cakeisalie and 1 other person
Helvete

Helvete

Member
Apr 9, 2024
82
Agreed, FMJ has lead to a VERY VERY large amount of failed attempts
 
  • Aww..
  • Wow
Reactions: ratvroomvrooms, leavingthesoultrap and divinemistress36
justcallmeJ

justcallmeJ

<3
Nov 9, 2023
385
Must of been a weird couple last days reading your last posts. If this is definitely it, goodbye, and i really hope you find the peace you need. And please shoot correctly! You dont want to make this a trip to the hospital with severe damage :(
I wish you the best whatever happens <3
 
  • Like
Reactions: the_last_race, Meteora, iloverachel and 1 other person
tbroken

tbroken

Wizard
Feb 22, 2024
660
you don't need a background check for ammunition purchases. I'll see you soon.
Just be very aware that fmj goes right through you and can tend to do minimal damage. Surprisingly easy to survive, and i actually have two relatives that have experienced that first hand
I hope you find peace man, but please read the advices above. Be extremely careful or try another day, with better gadgets...
 
  • Like
Reactions: Meteora, Cakeisalie, iloverachel and 1 other person
letsgetittogo

letsgetittogo

Barbiturate Summer :p
Nov 11, 2023
199
How are you feeling? Ready and calm, or more on the angsty side?

What will you say in your goodbye video?

Best of luck brother, praying that everything goes according to plan for you
 
  • Like
Reactions: Meteora and iloverachel
underscore_nine

underscore_nine

the sweet release
Feb 17, 2023
145
May God be with you
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: Meteora, Brokensaddle, iloverachel and 2 others
bookgirl

bookgirl

Mar 31, 2024
338
I hope you find the peace you are looking for
 
  • Like
Reactions: Meteora
L

LifeIsCrazyNemb

Arcanist
Jan 21, 2024
402
Good luck my friend and take care!
 
  • Like
Reactions: Meteora and iloverachel
IHurtTheOneILove

IHurtTheOneILove

Experienced
Dec 16, 2023
205
you don't need a background check for ammunition purchases. I'll see you soon.
Unfortunately you do, I went to buy hollowpoint on the way to my CTB destination and they required my ID + passport for a background check.
Unfortunately you do, I went to buy hollowpoint on the way to my CTB destination and they required my ID + passport for a background check.
Actually it mightve been bcus I went to buy ammo before crossing state lines I'm gonna try my luck at another store and probably just do it off the side of the road?
 
Last edited:
  • Like
Reactions: Meteora, Forveleth, iloverachel and 1 other person
Helvete

Helvete

Member
Apr 9, 2024
82
It might just be the state your are in's laws.
Wish i could just give you a big hug man, nothing is ever easy
Wish i could just give you a big hug man, nothing is ever easy
 
  • Like
Reactions: Meteora
A

Aprilfarewell4

Specialist
Apr 9, 2024
349
I hope you find peace man, but please read the advices above. Be extremely careful or try another day, with better gadgets...

Just be very aware that fmj goes right through you and can tend to do minimal damage. Surprisingly easy to survive, and i actually have two relatives that have experienced that first hand

Unfortunately you do, I went to buy hollowpoint on the way to my CTB destination and they required my ID + passport for a background check.
sorry friend, I didn't know that. it doesn't work like that here. must be a state by state issue, and that's bullshit.

but, . 45 round nose will get the job done, brainstem, back of throat angle it up, the concussive and isostatic shock will be enough at that impact range. I'm using the same method for myself. extensive firearms experience and training in my history fwiw. there will always be random cases of where it didn't work, those can put people off even if they are in the extremeist of minority cases. anything .380 .45, 38 10mm 9mm, all workable.
you don;t have to do it though, at all..

good luck, peace and i'll be joining soon.
 
  • Like
  • Informative
Reactions: the_last_race, Forveleth, iloverachel and 2 others
Demian

Demian

Member
Mar 25, 2024
99
I wish you all the best!

Not to be pro-life, but if you're not 100 per cent, don't do it. You already have the method and, if you want it with total certainty, you have control of your death in your hands.

There's no need to rush.

But whatever your decision, I wish you the best!
 
  • Like
Reactions: the_last_race, Meteora, Cakeisalie and 3 others
YandereMikuMistress

YandereMikuMistress

you say falling victim to myself is weak, so be it
Apr 26, 2023
215
I wish you the best of luck,, I hope you can finally be eased of your pain,, but please remember to do what you want and not what you might think you need to do, we never talked but I've read most of your posts, thank you for your time and again I wish you the best.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Meteora
A

Aprilfarewell4

Specialist
Apr 9, 2024
349
Unfortunately you do, I went to buy hollowpoint on the way to my CTB destination and they required my ID + passport for a background check.

Actually it mightve been bcus I went to buy ammo before crossing state lines I'm gonna try my luck at another store and probably just do it off the side of the road?
sounds like you aren't ready tbh, that's okay, okay? what you have will work, but only if you are ready.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Meteora
IHurtTheOneILove

IHurtTheOneILove

Experienced
Dec 16, 2023
205
sorry friend, I didn't know that. it doesn't work like that here. must be a state by state issue, and that's bullshit.

but, . 45 round nose will get the job done, brainstem, back of throat angle it up, the concussive and isostatic shock will be enough at that impact range. I'm using the same method for myself. extensive firearms experience and training in my history fwiw. there will always be random cases of where it didn't work, those can put people off even if they are in the extremeist of minority cases. anything .380 .45, 38 10mm 9mm, all workable.
you don;t have to do it though, at all..

good luck, peace and i'll be joining soon.
It was state by state. Just went to a ammo store and got RIP rounds with no issue. RIP will for sure kill me instantly. They're so effective that they got banned in war lol
It was state by state. Just went to a ammo store and got RIP rounds with no issue. RIP will for sure kill me instantly. They're so effective that they got banned in war lol
Shit maybe might swap them out for hollowpoint lol im not sure
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: Forveleth and LifeIsCrazyNemb
A

Aprilfarewell4

Specialist
Apr 9, 2024
349
It was state by state. Just went to a ammo store and got RIP rounds with no issue. RIP will for sure kill me instantly. They're so effective that they got banned in war lol

Shit maybe might swap them out for hollowpoint lol im not sure
i'm not sure what you mean about swapping them out for hollow points, idk that you can return ammo for trade? but that might be a state issue too. you sound like your plans are off, at least for now. bought yourself some time too with those RIPs.
good luck
 
Helvete

Helvete

Member
Apr 9, 2024
82
Im really not trying to be that guy, but you sound hesitant, and If you need to wait thats fine. There is genuinely no rush, and the gun isnt going anywhere fast. I got mine sitting with me here too so i get it.
 
  • Like
Reactions: divinemistress36, Meteora, Cakeisalie and 1 other person
evannave

evannave

love you guys <3
Feb 27, 2024
165
You still here? Wishing you the best of luck <3 See you eventually :3
 
  • Like
Reactions: Meteora
A

Aprilfarewell4

Specialist
Apr 9, 2024
349
Im really not trying to be that guy, but you sound hesitant, and If you need to wait thats fine. There is genuinely no rush, and the gun isnt going anywhere fast. I got mine sitting with me here too so i get it

You are not that guy, it just is what it is and yes, it's not a solid sounding plan. Hopefully they don't have to go through with and if they do hopefully they have better tools now.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Helvete
IHurtTheOneILove

IHurtTheOneILove

Experienced
Dec 16, 2023
205
Im really not trying to be that guy, but you sound hesitant, and If you need to wait thats fine. There is genuinely no rush, and the gun isnt going anywhere fast. I got mine sitting with me here too so i get it.
You still here? Wishing you the best of luck <3 See you eventually :3
You are not that guy, it just is what it is and yes, it's not a solid sounding plan. Hopefully they don't have to go through with and if they do hopefully they have better tools now.
Just went back to the ammo place and exchanged for hollowpoints. I thought I was ready but going thru with everything is proving difficult. Idk it's like I need to prove that I'm legitimately suicidal by doing it but I'm just worrier abt what happens with notes and shit afterwards
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: the_last_race, iloverachel, february in alaska and 2 others
FuneralCry

FuneralCry

She wished that she never existed...
Sep 24, 2020
34,859
Farewell and best wishes, I hope that you find the freedom you search for.
 
  • Like
Reactions: iloverachel and Aprilfarewell4
IHurtTheOneILove

IHurtTheOneILove

Experienced
Dec 16, 2023
205
Also currently checked out of hotel room so it's looking like I check into a cheap motel nearby or pull off to the side of the road
 
  • Like
  • Hugs
Reactions: the_last_race, iloverachel, Meteora and 3 others
A

Aprilfarewell4

Specialist
Apr 9, 2024
349
Just went back to the ammo place and exchanged for hollowpoints. I thought I was ready but going thru with everything is proving difficult. Idk it's like I need to prove that I'm legitimately suicidal by doing it but I'm just worrier abt what happens with notes and shit afterwards
You don't have anything to prove, it's a relief if you don't go through with it, although I don't know if saying that goes against the idea of the board in being a rare place that supports people with their exit plans, either way everybody understands and I'm sure probably want you to either be able to carry things out in the safest way, or things not have to go that way at all.
 
  • Like
Reactions: the_last_race, Forveleth, IHurtTheOneILove and 1 other person
Helvete

Helvete

Member
Apr 9, 2024
82
If youre actually ready, why dont you treat yourself yknow? Buy a fancy dinner for yourself and enjoy it bro
 
  • Like
Reactions: Forveleth, LifeIsCrazyNemb and IonicLemon69
A

Aprilfarewell4

Specialist
Apr 9, 2024
349
Also currently checked out of hotel room so it's looking like I check into a cheap motel nearby or pull off to the side of the road
Are there any rural locations around? Somewhere where you can be alone? on the side of the road sounds dangerous, first of all people be able to see you and maybe try to get involved? Whatever you decide to do is your choice but it would be awful if somebody interfered and you got put into an involuntary situation.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Helvete

Similar threads

goodoldnoname923
Replies
15
Views
382
Suicide Discussion
goodoldnoname923
goodoldnoname923
subhuman metalhead
Replies
4
Views
357
Suicide Discussion
locked*n*loaded
locked*n*loaded