Goodbye (finally)

[ringo99]

I'm done. I can't take the pressure any more. I finally get to use the SN sitting in my cupboard all these months to end my decades long suffering. For almost 25 years I struggled with unbearable pain and stress that no one around me understood and now I get to end it all. Bullied in school, bullied in college, exploited at work, forced to accept a piss poor salary in a horrendously expensive city, sneered at by more successful relatives, denigrated by former friends as a loser, my crippling digital addiction and ADHD, chronic introvertedness that never allowed to form a single meaningful relationship in my life, struggling with a neurological condition that ensures I can't retain new information or skills for long, none of it will matter anymore.

I'll be doing an accelerated regimen. I couldn't get benzos or beta blockers so I'll have to do without. I'm forgoing antacids as per the new ppeh instructions.

Day 1:

19:00 - Dinner

21:00 - 10mg Domperidone

Day 2:

07:00 - Breakfast (no more solid food after this)

08:00 - 10mg Domperidone

16:00 - 10mg Domperidone

20:00 - Fasting (drinking)

21:00 - 1000mg paracetamol

21:15 - 3x10mg Domperidone

22:00 - SN drink (25mg in 50ml, 3 glasses in case I puke despite the antiemetics)

When I found SaSu, it was the first time ever I felt like I was around people who truly understood my agony. It's been a joy talking to all of you, to not be treated like something less than human when I confided my feelings and laid my soul bare. I appreciate the information and advice about ctb methods I got from here. I really liked the little interactions we've had in the threads I created and the comments I made that allowed me to feel accepted and safe. Thank you all for listening and helping when I needed it most.

I'd especially like to thank @Praestat_Mori, @EmptyBottle, @WakingNightmare, @Vizzy (RIP), @divinemistress36, @not-2-b-the-answer, @ijustwishtodie and @CTB Dream for helping me out with questions or just responding to my comments and posts. Your support and empathy meant more to me than you realize.

Now I don't really believe in an afterlife, but if by some weird quirk of fate, one does exist and some of us end up there:



I really hope I succeed. The thought of failure is unbearable. Another eight hours before I drink. Will comment here as soon as I do. But I won't be posting regular updates on my condition after that.

Goodbye everyone and I hope you all find the peace you're looking for.

 

[Jadeith]

Wish you peace and painless journey.

 

[Dark Mood]

Good luck

 

[nobodycaresaboutme]

I'm really sorry life has treated you like this. I and you have not had conversations but I am sure you've brought great positive influence to SaSu. Thank you for being a member of this compassionate and non-judgmental community for a long time. I hope your transition is peaceful and find the serenity you deserve. Goodbye

 

[darksouls]

I wish you peace

 

[FadingSnowFake]

Sad to see you leave, but wishing you all the best in peace. If there is an afterlife, I hope it can only be better than this, and I'd love to meet up for a cheers. Thanks for sharing a bit of your journey with us, sending love your way for whatever happens next

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I'm sorry seeing you go and I'm sorry life brought you to this point.
I'm glad I could help you.
I'm sorry, I'm a bit out of words.
I wish you all the best and good luck! I Hope you find peace!
We're here for you!!

 

[dissociation]

I hope you find peace.

 

[Alexandra_]

I wish you the best of luck on your final journey. I'm so sorry life has been so cruel to you. It hasn't been kind to many of us

 

[FuneralCry]

I hope you find the freedom you search for, I wish you the best.

 

[woodlandcreature]

Good luck on your journey. I hope all is smooth and peaceful. I'm sorry life has brought you to this. We're here with you.

 

[copioushopelessness]

<3

 

[WakingNightmare]

Hi Ringo, I'm glad to have offered what little support I can in what sounds like a very arduous situation. However it would have been my pleasure to meet you under better circumstances.
Please do reach out if you need anything, or just want to chat.

 

[divinemistress36]

Peace on your journey <3 you deserve to be painfree

 

[EmptyBottle]

hi, tks for tagging me, sending hugs from Australia.

 

[eternalpace]

I hope you find and experience the peace that you're seeking.

 

[ringo99]

I'm ready...

 

[darkizz]

Good luck and i hope it gives you peace

 

[Hangman.]

Good bye I hope you find peace.

 

[Terrible_Life_99]

I wish you peace. I wish that you'll reach your goal to end all your suffering forever :)

 

[idiotmother]

I hope it's peaceful, hope everything went ok. Wonder what the red leaves are?

 

[doomedforsure]

i wish you nothing but a peace
hope you find what you want

 

[Cosmophobic]

You changed your profile pic to that Homer gif for this. It was Stewie right? I love that you still have your sense of humour even now.

I wish it wasn't like this but I guess you're committed now so I can only hope it goes smoothly and peacefully for you.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I hope you find peace! Good luck!

 

[darksouls]

I'm ready...

View attachment 183358

best of luck and safe travels

 

[rozeske]

I wish you the best and a peaceful journey.

 

[Firefly.Forest]

I wish you peace and an end to your suffering.

 

[Gunthertempname]

Wish you peace

 

[ringo99]

Down the hatch and that's that. See you on the other side....

 

[Macedonian1987]

Down the hatch and that's that. See you on the other side....

This is my first ever post here, and I wish for you to finally be rid of all the pain, sadness and suffering which forced you to make this decision. I intend to use the same method when my life gets unbearable.