Goodbye everyone

[tirednorthernsoul]

So, I'm trying to will myself to ctb by firearm tonight. My SI has really kicked in, despite the wine I've been drinking. I'm currently pacing back and forth, interspersed with practicing the angle of the pistol in my mouth. I've written all of my notes. I'm a hot mess rn lol

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

Godspeed. I hope you find peace.

Really wish I could get ahold of a firearm.

 

[GreenBanana23]

Glad you're finally getting the peace you deserve.
Somewhat jealous you have a firearm but very glad you can get what you need

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I wish you strength! I hope you find the peace and freedom you are searching for! Farewell & good luck!

 

[Ambivalent1]

Would vodka work better? It's what I'm using to overcome si

 

[tirednorthernsoul]

Would vodka work better? It's what I'm using to overcome si

I don't have access. All the stores are closed at this point. Besides, I don't want to be so fucked up that I totally aim wrong or something. I wish you luck in your endeavor!

 

[Ambivalent1]

I don't have access. All the stores are closed at this point. Besides, I don't want to be so fucked up that I totally aim wrong or something. I wish you luck in your endeavor!

You wake up with a Van Gogh ear.

 

[tirednorthernsoul]

I wish you strength! I hope you find the peace and freedom you are searching for! Farewell & good luck!

Glad you're finally getting the peace you deserve.
Somewhat jealous you have a firearm but very glad you can get what you need

Thank you! It's the advantage of living in a state with somewhat lax firearm laws.

You wake up with a Van Gogh ear.

Yeah, I don't wanna wake up, Van Gogh ear or not lol

Godspeed. I hope you find peace.

Really wish I could get ahold of a firearm.

Thank you! I live in a reasonably lax state, so I was able to get one without a problem.

 

[KarmaBus]

It's understandable for you to be a hot mess! This was my previous attempted method, 9mm w/hpb. Spent weeks pacing, practicing the angle and attempting. No luck, SI is hard to overcome.

I hope you find peace and strength no matter what happens. How are you doing?

 

[toofargone6969]

It's understandable for you to be a hot mess! This was my previous attempted method, 9mm w/hpb. Spent weeks pacing, practicing the angle and attempting. No luck, SI is hard to overcome.

I hope you find peace and strength no matter what happens. How are you doing?

Me too. No way I could go through with it. OP I wish you peace and strength. This method is not an easy one and it's understandable to be a mess. I'm sorry you are here as we all are. It sucks.

 

[tirednorthernsoul]

It's understandable for you to be a hot mess! This was my previous attempted method, 9mm w/hpb. Spent weeks pacing, practicing the angle and attempting. No luck, SI is hard to overcome.

I hope you find peace and strength no matter what happens. How are you doing?

I'm sad and lonely. Surprisingly, I'm not crying anymore. I think I'm past that point. Now I'm just wondering if I can actually go through with eating a gun.
I'm using a 9mm, too, how'd you know lol? Part of me wishes I had a shotgun, which would be a more certain death. Damn living in a dense urban neighborhood lol. But also, being relatively intact is kind of an odd goal of mine in this endeavor because I worry about traumatizing whoever will find me in my car/the undertaker. Shotgun deaths are not pretty at all.

 

[LoiteringClouds]

I'm just a stranger but thanks so much for your contribution, and I'm so sad.
You've suffered a lot, but I hope peace is ahead of you.
Bon voyage - I wish you the best

 

[The anhedonic one]

I would have been gone long ago if I had a gun.
I'm sorry this dreadful world has driven you to this situation.
I wish you the best of luck in your final venture.

 

[KarmaBus]

I'm sad and lonely. Surprisingly, I'm not crying anymore. I think I'm past that point. Now I'm just wondering if I can actually go through with eating a gun.
I'm using a 9mm, too, how'd you know lol? Part of me wishes I had a shotgun, which would be a more certain death. Damn living in a dense urban neighborhood lol. But also, being relatively intact is kind of an odd goal of mine in this endeavor because I worry about traumatizing whoever will find me in my car/the undertaker. Shotgun deaths are not pretty at all.

I understand being past the point of tears. I'm sorry you are sad and lonely I guess we have good taste in I'm in a dense city too. Being relatively intact is a good goal. I hope everything goes smoothly for you. Sorry life has come to this point. Hugs

 

[GasMonkey]

See you on the Other Side.

 

[deomlez]

Hope you are now in peace.

 

[InSearchOfLess]

Strength, courage and Godspeed

 

[Jule_from_Germany]

I admire your courage. I wouldn't be able to shoot myself, because it seems so brutal. I wish you all the best and may you find peace

 

[tirednorthernsoul]

Ugh, I'm still here. SI/tiredness won out and I fell asleep. I feel so dumb. It's almost dawn now. I guess I'm going to have to wait around until nightfall again, as I'm doing this in my car in an unfrequented parking lot.

 

[deomlez]

Whatever made you fall asleep, you are here with us a bit longer, could be worst hey.

 

[Ashu]

I would have been gone long ago if I had a gun.

Maybe not.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best with your plans and I hope that when the time is right for you to leave you find the freedom you search for. I think that those with the options of firearms are fortunate even know it's not my most ideal method, suicide by firearm isn't even an option where I live.

 

[angelk]

I hope you find peace

 

[oh_no191]

You got this. I hope you find eternal peace! I'm sure you deserve it

 

[tirednorthernsoul]

Thank you for the kind words, everyone. I'm going to try again tonight, and hopefully I can actually do it this time. I'm really tired, all I want to do is sleep. Funny for someone who's about to shoot themselves in the head. If I stop responding, hopefully that means I've been successful in ctb. Best of luck to all of you.

 

[Hopeless12]

I'm sad and lonely. Surprisingly, I'm not crying anymore. I think I'm past that point. Now I'm just wondering if I can actually go through with eating a gun.
I'm using a 9mm, too, how'd you know lol? Part of me wishes I had a shotgun, which would be a more certain death. Damn living in a dense urban neighborhood lol. But also, being relatively intact is kind of an odd goal of mine in this endeavor because I worry about traumatizing whoever will find me in my car/the undertaker. Shotgun deaths are not pretty at all.

That's my concern…involuntary exposure and the mess that would need to be cleaned up.

 

[sera]

i hope ur able to find peace, friend. ur not alone, even in ur final moments, whenever they might occur <3 don't hesitate to hold off if u don't feel ready; we're always here if u decide to wait or decide to go thru with it. much love <3

 

[cami]

if you change your mind, that's okay and please reach out. but if you don't, i hope you find tranquility in the next life.

 

[love_peep]

wish you goodluck bro , see ya on other side