Goodbay post, not a good one

[Proxar]

I was planning on cbt the last week and i couldnt cuz my relatives where at home. Now i have a 4 hours window. Im going crazy cuz its this time of the year and im gonna ruin it for their entire lifes. But im so wasted, im so broken and so tired.

the only thing i know for sure its im gonna be in pain cuz this mdf chronic pain. It hurts staying in bed. It hurts moving. Maybe its just an excuse.
This week felt like a month. So exhausting.

Im gonna programe an automated massage to my mom to let her known im dead in the house that she recently got, in christmas eve. This is so fucked that i feel like im a villain.

Thanks for everything and fuck the people and myself to become in this ussless human.

I hope i can make it.
I hope you the best for the one who is reading this. What ever it is for you.

 

[cloudyskye]

I'm so sorry. I'm sure you feel guilty but I also understand the intense need to just die.

 

[TragedyBornCrimson]

I am sorry, the guilt can feel so heavy. I hope you find peace no matter what you decide to do. I am ctbing as well pretty soon this week, and my families lives and plans will be destroyed for a while. The only solace I have is that long term my death will make their lives easier from a logical standpoint.

 

[FuneralCry]

I wish you the best as well.

 

[savory]

Doesnt seem to me you're making up excuses. I'm sorry, Proxar. I wish you well whatever you choose

 

[MadAna]

I was planning on cbt the last week and i couldnt cuz my relatives where at home. Now i have a 4 hours window. Im going crazy cuz its this time of the year and im gonna ruin it for their entire lifes. But im so wasted, im so broken and so tired.

the only thing i know for sure its im gonna be in pain cuz this mdf chronic pain. It hurts staying in bed. It hurts moving. Maybe its just an excuse.
This week felt like a month. So exhausting.

Im gonna programe an automated massage to my mom to let her known im dead in the house that she recently got, in christmas eve. This is so fucked that i feel like im a villain.

Thanks for everything and fuck the people and myself to become in this ussless human.

I hope i can make it.
I hope you the best for the one who is reading this. What ever it is for you.

hope you'll find your peace... this is a fucked up life, i know... you're not a villain. you have must do what you feel to... don't worry about anything else... you don't own nothing to anyone... being in pain all the time it's not life, i now it. i understand it. but, anyway, do what you want and what you feel it's good for you and only you... hope you'll find peace one day. much love <3

 

[Adûnâi]

Pain is indeed a legitimate reason to go, don't worry! <3

 

[maniac116]

I'm so sorry you're in such pain.
It sounds like you have made up your mind to leave. I wish you well & I hope that peace and love find you. You deserve it!

 

[MercenariesofMidgar]

I hope you find peace