Venting Good morning intrusive thoughts

[ixkitty]

Good morning,
I left my mask at the apt
And my bag with food in it
And my mom decided to tell me I need to think positively
And I left my safety vest.
Last night a friend raised his voice at me and I basically freaked out because I don't have thick skin. I really do suck as a human and I really. Really. Really want to do something about it but guess what ! I'm afraid of leaving my job because if I fail, I'll be jobless! Yay! And so here I am plastering another smile and pretending its okay because I don't want to vomit my problems on anyone close enough to care about it. Or tell me to get over it .

No where here to jump, trains make me anxious and I've never been close enough to one. I'm not drugged enough to pull the trigger, my neck is too small to use the good night method, nothing is secure enough to hang from.. and SN is too disgusting to get down (I've tried it 3-5 times.. same result) I'm literally running out of options and I don't want to take it out on anyone..

I'm nice because I don't know how to be mean... if I do slip up I instantly regret it and feel like shit ..

So how is your day?

 

[WornOutLife]

It seems you're going through a lot, dear.
I hope you can sort things out somehow!

As for me, I just want to be in bed today but I can't. Gotta do lots of stuff. Hope I can deal with this.

Hugs and love,

Matt

 

[ixkitty]

It seems you're going through a lot, dear.
I hope you can sort things out somehow!

As for me, I just want to be in bed today but I can't. Gotta do lots of stuff. Hope I can deal with this.

Hugs and love,

Matt

I appreciate ♡♡