Venting Good for nothing

[garbology]

My father always treated me as incapable. He used to say I'm useless and that I can't do shit, yelling at me. He still does say that... I've grown up to actually believe I'm good for nothing, that I cant do anything right. I'll always fail. Everytime someone critizes me I just have this image of my father yelling at me and I try not to cry. Why did my father say all those things to me? I don't know if he's right. I just hope I don't fail at ctb.
I guess people here might have similar problems. Do you deal with that? Do you mind sharing?

 

[GenesAndEnvironment]

My parents didn't do this kind of thing but I've actually failed at almost everything that I did after HS. This really drains your hope and motivation for getting somewhere in the future, now I haven't experienced hope or motivation since I was 17- but still. I don't have a problem with criticism, I really would prefer it if people straight up verbally or physically attacked me since it makes me feel alive and important :) No one does, though, since I'm too cool-headed and polite.

I guess I deal with my past failures by staying objective and giving myself enough time to carefully prepare for coming challenges.

 

[whywere]

1st off, WELCOME to Sanctioned Suicide!! It is GREAT to have you as a new global family member. My hope and wish for you is that you find, like I have, all the love, caring, support, empathy and kindness that the whole global family has here. This site and this family are all AWESOME! Again, WELCOME!!! 2nd, I TOTALLY feel for you and feel so sorry for you. We could REALLY be twins. I was the "product" of a night out and booze. All my life till 18, my "parents" called me: "the mistake". To my face, out in public, everywhere. When I was 18, they figured out that I was bi and kicked me out and never spoke to me again ever, their choice. When they died, they left my younger sister a hobby farm and cash and my older brother, in U. S. dollars, 2 million and I got ZERO. You are a VERY nice, smart and personable person, one can tell by your post. NO, your father is TOTALLY wrong period. Besides all of my early life expereince, I am 64 years young and I have ALOT of life experience as far as my "parents" were 100% wrong and/or had mental issues. I always wondered why my "parents" treated me SO POORLY and after I was totally on my own I never thought about it very much again. For me it was like carrying a load of rocks in a backpack strapped to me, did me no good and just weighted me down, especially mentally. I am hoping that you find happiness and if ones father or parents or whoever are such that they are mean without cause, or like mine, who seemed to actually enjoy it, YIKES!, then maybe plan ones life around a persons self with other friends and of course all of the GREAT Sanctioned Suicide global family here that loves, cares has empathy, support and boundless kindness towards and for you! Walter

 

[Neowise]

I can fully relate, though for me it is my mother that has always been criticizing me and still is, I am still living at home. She is also a narcissist.
I don't know how many times she called me a retard and said I will never achieve anything in my life. She does it since my birth, now I am 25.

The sad part is, I feel like she is right. My marks are average at best. Whatever I do just fails and everyone else just seems to be smarter than me. I don't know whether I am a failure because she made me one or not.

I deal with it by just killing my emotions and trying not to listen to it to a point I have become completely emotionally detached from humans. Not the most ideal thing, I know. But what else can you do?

 

[Good4Nothing]

I feel exactly the same.
Hense my username.

 

[garbology]

Thank you all for welcoming me and sharing your experiences and thoughts. I feel absolutely bad about how it is told that family should be our priority and the only ones we can trust. That's such a lie...