halcyon

halcyon

want to die n be free with my love<3
Jul 13, 2021
29
hi i wish you peace & happiness wherever you go. i really do hope it's better than here. thinking of you<3
 
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L

Liamm

Member
Jun 28, 2024
26
I pray you find peace. Hugs. Thoughts you want to share?
 
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Theresnoescape

Theresnoescape

Each year feels like 10
May 29, 2024
81
I hope you find peace and happiness, good luck.
 
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SocialSoil

SocialSoil

for the first and last time i guess
Aug 15, 2024
43
I pray you find peace. Hugs. Thoughts you want to share?
Thank you. About thoughts - I wonder if afterlife exists or not. I hope to visit my best friend after I die. Or become a silly kitten if there's reincarnation.
 
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kat6

kat6

a cloud of smoke trying to occupy space
Sep 25, 2024
78
You said " I've done everything and this is not enough to be someone who deserves respect". I'm sorry the people around you made you feel this way.. it was their flaw, not yours. Everyone deserves respect. Just know there's a world of people out there who wouldve respected and valued you just for being you… and a group of random internet strangers here who already do no matter what haha.
 
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ItsyBitsyWeetard

ItsyBitsyWeetard

Member
Jun 1, 2024
58
Hey. I actually think I was just lucky. Meto is a prescribed by doctor drug here, too, but I just went to pharmacy and asked for antiemetic. They gave me meto without any problem. And we are probably in different countries, so I can't really say how to obtain meto for you...
Upd: have almost 13 hours left. I woke up at almost 2 am and wasn't able to get back to sleep... But now I'm alright. Also, I'm used to eating 2-3 times per 3 days, but it's still feels sad. I don't feel need to eat or weakness (last one is a surprise), but growling of stomach doesn't sound good.
Also, I really want to drink tea. Choose hot water instead. And I also finally went to shower, turns out we got hot water here too, so now I'm just happy. Feel a bit nervous.
its ok its normal to feel nervous i wish u the best of luck
 
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maynoname

maynoname

Student
Aug 13, 2024
162
I hope you gonna find peace.
 
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X

xandermax

Member
Aug 25, 2024
46
I wouldn't worry about serotonin syndrome. Meto is often prescribed with SSRIs with no issues.

Good luck with your journey.
 
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N

NoPoint280491

Ready to checkout
Sep 7, 2024
40
I'm currently sat in church and they're talking about purpose and all it's doing is making me feel worse because I have never felt I could find my purpose nor do I now have the energy to and now I've wasted my life. I just want to die. I have my SN and hope you have a safe journey and hope to join you soon
 
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S

shame

Member
Jul 17, 2024
68
I'm currently sat in church and they're talking about purpose and all it's doing is making me feel worse because I have never felt I could find my purpose nor do I now have the energy to and now I've wasted my life. I just want to die. I have my SN and hope you have a safe journey and hope to join you soon
Are you religious?
 
SocialSoil

SocialSoil

for the first and last time i guess
Aug 15, 2024
43
Upd: have 6 hours left. It's really hard to keep my head straight - both psycically and emotionally, I can't sit normal. Laying down doesn't help either. And... I can't even lay down comfortably. Nothing helps. I'm tired. Trying to listen to some ASMR. I'm afraid I won't be able to update much...
 
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maniac116

maniac116

My own worst enemy🌹💔
Aug 10, 2024
727
I'm sorry that your life has come to this point.
I wouldn't take the venlafaxine. Serotonin syndrome is no joke.
In the end I hope you go to a place of eternal love & peace 🌹💔
 
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finallydone

finallydone

Member
Aug 18, 2024
78
sorry to hear that your life brought you to this point
but i can't help but wonder why did you take venlafaxine in the first place ? to combat the anxiety ?
 
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N

NoPoint280491

Ready to checkout
Sep 7, 2024
40
Upd: have 6 hours left. It's really hard to keep my head straight - both psycically and emotionally, I can't sit normal. Laying down doesn't help either. And... I can't even lay down comfortably. Nothing helps. I'm tired. Trying to listen to some ASMR. I'm afraid I won't be able to update much...
Are you religious?
Yes, Christian
 
nir

nir

27/F/Canada
Aug 18, 2024
276
Will your roommate not be around?
 
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N

NoPoint280491

Ready to checkout
Sep 7, 2024
40
Sorry for such stupid question, but don't you afraid of sin?
It's not stupid... I am terrified but still in so much pain and hopeless mentally

I believe in God which makes CTB even harder but I've had so many questions for so long like why give me free will... why create me at all just to glorify You? Surely You knew I would make poor decisions and end up hating myself. Why give me the choice to believe in You but to sin so I feel condemned because I can't truly love You if I question everything and no longer see life as a gift. I wish I was atheist as then none of this would matter and I could CTB more freely
 
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SocialSoil

SocialSoil

for the first and last time i guess
Aug 15, 2024
43
Will your roommate not be around?
nope, she arrives at october 2nd.
sorry to hear that your life brought you to this point
but i can't help but wonder why did you take venlafaxine in the first place ? to combat the anxiety ?
it's prescribed by my psychiatrist. plus, lamotrigine and mirtazapine. i have recurrend depressive disorder.
p.s. i know it's problematic, but I didn't have serotonin syndrome in the end. plus, I feel like I've been hit with a hammer if I don't take my daily meds.

Upd: I finally gave in and ate three spoonfuls of turkey mashed potatoes. it got better. now i feel weird. at first it was like my neck was stuck and i could only look right to down. i slept and it went away. now it's the same thing, only left to up. when i lay down it stops....
 
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Reactions: finallydone
maniac116

maniac116

My own worst enemy🌹💔
Aug 10, 2024
727
Thank you. About thoughts - I wonder if afterlife exists or not. I hope to visit my best friend after I die. Or become a silly kitten if there's reincarnation.
🤗🤗🌹
 
UsurpedByDepression

UsurpedByDepression

non cogito, ergo, non sum.
Dec 9, 2023
19
I first undertood I have to ctb when I had been just 11 years old, seriously. This is finally going to happen.
I can relate to this strangely, except I was 8, but I don't know if the correct word is "understood" because it could also be a self-fulfilling prophecy, but yes, depression also gripped me since I was little.
 
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SocialSoil

SocialSoil

for the first and last time i guess
Aug 15, 2024
43
Got an hour before. Preparing cups. Thank you everyone
 
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TraumaEscapee:)

TraumaEscapee:)

I hate my birth family
Apr 30, 2023
210
Got an hour before. Preparing cups. Thank you everyone
If you change your mind, my inbox is open for a chat. I was so suicidal my life was awful I have bpd and a genuinely shit life. Things have changed so positively for me. So if you want more time on earth to see if things get better it's a good idea. I haven't used my SN yet. I was terribly sad, thinking I'd lost someone important for ever but guess what? He's probably still going to be in my life. I'll find out this week but it looks that way from what I've been told and his actions. I was terribly sad. Whatever you choose I hope you're happy and are at peace.
 
Davey40210

Davey40210

Even the stars make room for new stars
Sep 3, 2024
343
Hope you have a peaceful transition. All the best :heart:
 
nir

nir

27/F/Canada
Aug 18, 2024
276
In honour of 2ndme, gonna leave this here just in case. If you change your mind after taking SN, it is not too late, but you need to act fast. Call emergency services in your area, clearly state your location, and tell them you have ingested sodium nitrite and will need to be treated with intravenous methylene blue.
There is no shame in changing your mind, and we will accept you back with open arms.

That being said, regardless of what happens, I hope you find the peace you are looking for. If you go through with the SN, I hope it is a peaceful passing.
 
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C

CatLvr

Mage
Aug 1, 2024
537
In honour of 2ndme, gonna leave this here just in case. If you change your mind after taking SN, it is not too late, but you need to act fast. Call emergency services in your area, clearly state your location, and tell them you have ingested sodium nitrite and will need to be treated with intravenous methylene blue.
There is no shame in changing your mind, and we will accept you back with open arms.

That being said, regardless of what happens, I hope you find the peace you are looking for. If you go through with the SN, I hope it is a peaceful passing.
Bears repeating.

Whatever happens from this point on, please know you are loved. And supported. My you find the peace and contentment you seek. 🥰🥰🥰
 
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Reactions: BlackEyedDog and nir
abchia

abchia

Student
Aug 28, 2023
177
Have you taken it? I hope you have found peace
 
Gone soon

Gone soon

Guy who likes wearing womens' clothes
Jun 11, 2024
121
I wish you peace
 
nir

nir

27/F/Canada
Aug 18, 2024
276
I'm assuming you've taken it. I hope it was peaceful. You'll be missed
 

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