Going to kill myself tommorow

[Sternum]

You're right, if he is dead he can't chose, and he can't do anything anymore. if he did that, though, it's what he wanted. Along with the finality of the decision is the possibility of ending pain. It's impossible for us to say what is right, it's only possible for him to do that.

 

[YaYaDr]

If he's gone, he's no longer in pain. This is a good thing. Malice may you rest in peace.

 

[Definitelyworried]

If he's gone, he's no longer in pain. This is a good thing. Malice may you rest in peace.

What if he is in hell?
I hate how my mind thinks.
Something is seriously wrong with me.

 

[YaYaDr]

Don't be hard on yourself. Little kids are indoctrinated from a very young age to believe in hell. (Just another form of child abuse if you ask me.) What you need to ask yourself is whether or not that belief is reasonable.

 

[Definitelyworried]

I really do hope, Malice has no more pain, and I hope he never will.

 

[Definitelyworried]

Don't be hard on yourself. Little kids are indoctrinated from a very young age to believe in hell. (Just another form of child abuse if you ask me.) What you need to ask yourself is whether or not that belief is reasonable.

I been indoctrinated very deeply, I'm mixed up, I don't have enough faith to beleive that God talks to me or could guide me, but I'm scared that I might upset him.
U can say I'm agnostic, and I can't help it.
But this actually adds to my depression and anxiety. I really want this pain to stop, and I'm only seeing one option.

 

[Tiburcio]

Malice, I don't know if you will read this but hope I would meet you more before this. You looked to be a cool guy. Now I hope you can take your N peacefully, without anybody disturbing you, in peace. Good bye man. You was a great user here.

 

[YaYaDr]

I been indoctrinated very deeply, I'm mixed up, I don't have enough faith to beleive that God talks to me or could guide me, but I'm scared that I might upset him.
U can say I'm agnostic, and I can't help it.
But this actually adds to my depression and anxiety. I really want this pain to stop, and I'm only seeing one option.

This is perfectly understandable. I'm afraid though there are no easy answers. My only advice is to keep the conversation going, continue to ask questions, and one day you might find the truth. If I may be allowed to quote scripture: then you will know the truth and truth will set you free (John 8:32).

 

[Definitelyworried]

This is perfectly understandable. I'm afraid though there are no easy answers. My only advice is to keep the conversation going, continue to ask questions, and one day you might find the truth. If I may be allowed to quote scripture: then you will know the truth and truth will set you free (John 8:32).

There are so many ways of interpreting that scripture. Some could argue that it will set you free from sin, others can argue that it could set you free from religion.

 

[YaYaDr]

There are so many ways of interpreting that scripture. Some could argue that it will set you free from sin, others can argue that it could set you free from religion.

That is precisely why I don't accept the bible as proof of God. If the infallible word of God is so confusing as to be subject to interpretation, how can that be evidence to an almighty being. But we are getting a tad off-topic here, this conversation maybe better served in another post. Hopefully, Malice would forgive us for derailing his thread. He seemed like a nice fellow, so I'm sure he would. :^)

 

[Ready2goGermany]

Good luck mate. I hope to follow you soon

I have my N ready. I would have did it today but i didn't have the energy to get out and go to my location. Anyway, the pressure is on. My aunts and uncles came over this weekend and went out of their way to tell my parents that they should pack my bags for me (in other words kick me out). Dad said i"ll have to starve in the future if i dont figure something out. Mom said i had no class despite me giving them most of my disability check each month. My futures not looking too good and parents are more static than i originally thought.

I"ll probably be homeless in the future if i don't do this. I have no savings and my ankles look like they're going to snap any day now because of my disability. If that happens i might lose my ability to walk and ctb. My N has been out for a while now so the clock is ticking. I'm getting pressure from all sides here..its overwhelming. If i fail tommorow i will be back for sure. Lets hope that i don't.

 

[RainAndSadness]

It looks like he's gone.

 

[Deleted member 847]

He made it

 

[angie]

I can't save anyone but I can sure as hell try and convince them life is worth living for

thats your opinion if u in pain 24/7 and stuck in a chair that is not worth living in my opinion you do not know others situation so stop saying life is worth living ,it may be for you but not for plenty others .

 

[Samuel]

Peace be with you malice1

 

[Tiburcio]

I'll add you to the list of the brave that I envy.

I wouldn't said it better.

 

[Samuel]

We can do it too!

 

[wanttodie]

Good luck, and see you on the other side soon

 

[rebelwacause]

RIP @Malice1, hope you have found peace.

 

[MAIO]

I been indoctrinated very deeply, I'm mixed up, I don't have enough faith to beleive that God talks to me or could guide me, but I'm scared that I might upset him.
U can say I'm agnostic, and I can't help it.
But this actually adds to my depression and anxiety. I really want this pain to stop, and I'm only seeing one option.

That doesn't souns like agnosticism

 

[Definitelyworried]

That doesn't souns like agnosticism

What does it sound like to you?

 

[YaYaDr]

if you tried already can i ask why it failed ??
how much anti emetics did you take etc

do you have any idea how long can nembutal will keep if taken out of original bottles and put into one sports drinking bottle for easiness when taking ?

Sorry angie, I believe Malice has already ctb'd.

 

[dwight]

Sorry angie, I believe Malice has already ctb'd.

if someone you know died on here, what do you do with their account?

 

[YaYaDr]

if someone you know died on here, what do you do with their account?

I'm not sure I understand. Nothing I can do personally. Nothing the mods can do neither as far as I can tell. People will die. It's not against forum rules or anything.

 

[dwight]

I'm not sure I understand. Nothing I can do personally. Nothing the mods can do neither as far as I can tell. People will die. It's not against forum rules or anything.

oh. i thought maybe you mark it with a title like 'Gone' or something.
I probably shouldn't have sniffed all those markers earlier...

 

[angie]

Sorry angie, I believe Malice has already ctb'd.

so glad they found peace r.i.p

 

[Fennoscandia]

I just joined today, but I see from his post history that he was relatively active for the time he was here. I sincerely hope that he got what he wanted.
RIP. He was able to accomplish something I could only dream of.

 

[akiyue]

Hey. How did you get your N from A? Did you use EMS or regular service?

 

[shattered dreams]

Hey. How did you get your N from A? Did you use EMS or regular service?

Malice1 is no longer with us, so he cannot reply to you.

 

[DeadLikeMe]

I hope you have found peace.