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hailtothevic

Member
Oct 28, 2020
11
Hey guys. I think I'll go for it tonight. Hanging (the only option I have really). I'll wait until nightfall, when everyone's asleep so I won't be interrupted. I had planned on ctb'ing either before Christmas or on New Year's but there was some family stuff that messed up my plans. Now I was wondering, how do I turn off SI? SI and anxiety are really the only things keeping me here and I'm sick of being alive
 
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Ender

Ender

..
Dec 29, 2020
269
If you have access to sleeping medication, alcohol, or drugs, that could help at least numb yourself and your SI. I hope peace hugs you eternally.
 
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NodusTollens

NodusTollens

Nov 17, 2020
989
I agree with Ender, those items should help to some degree with Si.

I hope your journey is peaceful, safe travels.
 
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WornOutLife

マット
Mar 22, 2020
7,163
If you have access to sleeping medication, alcohol, or drugs, that could help at least numb yourself and your SI. I hope peace hugs you eternally.
I agree with @Ender !
When I tried to hang myself, sleeping pills killed my SI but also made me pass out too fast and I couldn't hang myself properly so, take that into account and be fast if you do it.

Anyway, I'm sorry to hear you're leaving.
Hope you can find at peace once and for all.

Hugs and love
 
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StateOfMind

StateOfMind

Liberty or Death
Apr 30, 2020
1,195
I have experienced that when I'm too drunk my "warrior gene" kicks in and no longer want to ctb.
When I'm completely sober I'm at my most suicidal state of mind.
Of course though this may be different for others.
 
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K

kkatt

Paragon
Nov 12, 2018
967
Hey guys. I think I'll go for it tonight. Hanging (the only option I have really). I'll wait until nightfall, when everyone's asleep so I won't be interrupted. I had planned on ctb'ing either before Christmas or on New Year's but there was some family stuff that messed up my plans. Now I was wondering, how do I turn off SI? SI and anxiety are really the only things keeping me here and I'm sick of being alive
It's impossible to turn off the survival instinct. I've heard of people who have taken lethal doses and placed a plastic bag over their heads, even handcuffing themselves after. They have come round only to find the bag torn off and strewn across the room
The survival instinct is stronger than we are.IMO,the only thing you can do is try to remove any obstacles that may cause second thoughts or last minute panic. Any unfinished business... even the smallest thing.
Good luck to you though.
 
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hailtothevic

Member
Oct 28, 2020
11
If you have access to sleeping medication, alcohol, or drugs, that could help at least numb yourself and your SI. I hope peace hugs you eternally.
I have some vodka, a bit of weed and nothing worth staying around for
I agree with @Ender !
When I tried to hang myself, sleeping pills killed my SI but also made me pass out too fast and I couldn't hang myself properly so, take that into account and be fast if you do it.

Anyway, I'm sorry to hear you're leaving.
Hope you can find at peace once and for all.

Hugs and love
I have booze and an energy drink, do think that'll do it?
 
Ender

Ender

..
Dec 29, 2020
269
I have some vodka, a bit of weed and nothing worth staying around for

I have booze and an energy drink, do think that'll do it?
Yeah, that would be helpful. The energy drink though, I have no idea.
 
Mondsucher

Mondsucher

Member
Jul 26, 2020
22
Good luck man. We won't forget you
 
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S

Spitfire

Enlightened
Apr 26, 2020
1,273
Hey guys. I think I'll go for it tonight. Hanging (the only option I have really). I'll wait until nightfall, when everyone's asleep so I won't be interrupted. I had planned on ctb'ing either before Christmas or on New Year's but there was some family stuff that messed up my plans. Now I was wondering, how do I turn off SI? SI and anxiety are really the only things keeping me here and I'm sick of being alive
Be careful. If there are people nearby? They could find you and save you and this could result in a higher likelihood of permanent brain damage.

It only takes a second to make a lot of noise if you become unaware yet are still semiconscious.

If abnormal loud noises are heard with people nearby and they went to see what it was? What if that happens and you had hung there without enough oxygen for a few too many minutes. This is what worries me. I wish you well.
 
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Nodscene

Nodscene

Its time
Jun 7, 2019
154
Alcohol can definitely help with SI for a lot of people. It may be a bit scary at first but if you pass out quickly then I'm hoping it will lessen your pain as much as possible. I haven't don't any real research on this method so I honestly have no clue how painful or or not this method is.

I hope this is truly what you want and that it goes smoothly for you. Let all your pain and suffering melt away and that you find the peace you deserve. I don't know you but I sincerely hope you rest in peace.
 
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pen

pen

it's A non Getting Down socializing situation
Dec 25, 2020
122
Don't be afraid of hurting others, that's all it takes.

Nice whatever comes
 
Last edited:
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Disappointered

Disappointered

Enlightened
Sep 21, 2020
1,280
Best wishes, may you find eternal peace.
 
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M

makingsure4

Student
Jan 6, 2021
152
Make sure now is the time. Go in Peace. Be aware of how you respond to a particular chemical in order to use it for SI turn off. My benzos just program tell me it's time to sleep. And alcohol, well as a any black out drinker can tell you, can't trust the part that takes over once you black out to kill you. Drunk me just ended up getting mad and kicking the suicide props around, vomiting and sleeping. Be well.
 
H

hailtothevic

Member
Oct 28, 2020
11
I couldn't do it. I thought I could, but I just froze, again. Why am I such a fucking coward!? I don't want to be here!!! I don't belong in this world!
 
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pen

pen

it's A non Getting Down socializing situation
Dec 25, 2020
122
Aren't you satisfied of being in total control of doing what you wanted to?

There's a point in these events, you now are aware that only you and no one else is capable of controlling your life.

Good luck with whatever choices you make from now on.

Great, see you next time and have a good night too.
 
Mondsucher

Mondsucher

Member
Jul 26, 2020
22
I couldn't do it. I thought I could, but I just froze, again. Why am I such a fucking coward!? I don't want to be here!!! I don't belong in this world!
That's ok man. Just take a deep breath. Honestly why is overcoming SI so hard? Like just let me die smh.
 

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