Venting Going back to fucking China. Goodbye freedom, Hello darkness my old "friend"

[KleinerWolf]

I've decided that suicide is hard,
So I've somehow swallowed my pride,
and decided to go back to fucking China.

At this stage I plan on working as a cook in hotel chains and make a modest living.

I don't know what's the next time I'll ever be able to get out and go to Europe or somewhere.
I take comfort in knowing I will be learning German and french, and working as a cook in European cuisine to keep myself busy.

I'll also order and renew my SN every two years in China,
in case I need a reliable way to kill myself.
This should help me feel a little bit better.

(I don't know.
I don't know if I will kill myself in China.
I don't know what's the next time I will see multiculturalism, good grocery selections and availability of european cooking ingredients, browsing youtube without proxy, clean air, people speaking my preferred language aka English)
I will lose a big part of me,
but I will have to try not having myself become depressed, right?

I'm alive but it's still so sad.
Feels like going back to prison.

Goodbye europeans&every other ethnicity,
goodbye turkish kebab,
goodbye new zealand alcohol that are decent,
goodbye freedom and all the good things,

"Home" sweet "home",
Hello darkness my old "friend".



Background thread:

https://sanctioned-suicide.net/thre...china-synchronicity-signs-angel-number.58119/

 

[Deleted member 14573]

I'm sorry you have to go back and live in a country where your freedoms are restricted :(

 

[awfullife]

Why are you going back?

 

[KleinerWolf]

Why are you going back?

Because gaining residency is difficult.
the government has made immigration increasingly difficult in Australia/New Zealand in the past decade.

especially concerning my career choice: restaurant cook.

It will be impossible for immigrants to find employers for work visa sponsorship once everyone's current visa expires in hospitality.
It's an unfortunate situation for the immigrants and hospitality industry.
But government is screwing the immigrants and hospitality industry by eliminating its foreign workforce.

Too bad, so sad.

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

Ah, I was wondering about you mate. January 3rd came and went... Sorry you have to go back there. It sounds like you'll have SN at least, should things get to that point...

 

[Sherri]

Sorry that you have to go back, NZ is an amazing country, specially Queenstown and Christchurch. Not a big fan of Auckland though.

 

[Nymph]

Sorry you have to go back, I was in China and I know that I'd definitely wouldn't want to live there for a long time. Wouldn't you be able to come back after the dental stuff? What about living in another English speaking country?

 

[Deleted member 94]

Because gaining residency is difficult.
the government has made immigration increasingly difficult in Australia/New Zealand in the past decade.

especially concerning my career choice: restaurant cook.

It will be impossible for immigrants to find employers for work visa sponsorship once everyone's current visa expires in hospitality.
It's an unfortunate situation for the immigrants and hospitality industry.
But government is screwing the immigrants and hospitality industry by eliminating its foreign workforce.

Too bad, so sad.

Would you not consider becoming a student and get student visa and then study a course not in hospitality and then work in a different field. There is a guy who is Bangladeshi who is trying to do this here in this country. He previously had married a Eastern European but the authorities considered it a marriage of convenience. Needless to say she left him and went back to her own country rather than face the circumstances of the marriage being investigated. But he found this new method of not being forced to leave the country.

 

[Sherri]

Shanghai is amazing though, Beijing not a big fan.

 

[KleinerWolf]

Ah, I was wondering about you mate. January 3rd came and went... Sorry you have to go back there. It sounds like you'll have SN at least, should things get to that point...

I ordered SN but it still hasn't arrived NZ yet.
Most likely still on its way.
But I assume I'll be able to source SN in China nonetheless.

The situation is not ideal for me to be back there,
but I guess suicide is hard,
so I'll take my time...

 

[BitterlyAlive_]

I ordered SN but it still hasn't arrived NZ yet.
Most likely still on its way.
But I assume I'll be able to source SN in China nonetheless.

The situation is not ideal for me to be back there,
but I guess suicide is hard,
so I'll take my time...

I'm so sorry. You have us, for what it's worth

 

[KleinerWolf]

Sorry you have to go back, I was in China and I know that I'd definitely wouldn't want to live there for a long time. Wouldn't you be able to come back after the dental stuff? What about living in another English speaking country?

I could try Canada/other small handful of English speaking countries, once the COVID settles down.
But yeah, plenty of options, possibly.

I'll try my luck in the future with one of those countries.

Depends who is willing to take me in. lmao

Would you not consider becoming a student and get student visa and then study a course not in hospitality and then work in a different field. There is a guy who is Bangladeshi who is trying to do this here in this country. He previously had married a Eastern European but the authorities considered it a marriage of convenience. Needless to say she left him and went back to her own country rather than face the circumstances of the marriage being investigated. But he found this new method of not being forced to leave the country.

I'm not following,
how is he staying in EU if he's the one without citizenship?

They'll deport him at some point when the investigation is carried out, no?

Shanghai is amazing though, Beijing not a big fan.

yeah shanghai has nice skyline with all those skyscrapers across that river in CBD.

Beijing just has some historic building but not worth the hype, food is okay.

but shanghai is better indeed.

I'm so sorry. You have us, for what it's worth

thank you bitterly,
you warm my heart.

I'll be heavily rely on you guys to not forget my English lol
oh well.
It'd be nice to have someone who speak the same language at work, but I'll have my fingers crossed.

There's this german restaurant in my hometown,
I think I'm gonna apply there and learn some German from co-workers lol
That'd be kinda cool I guess.

 

[Its time its time]

Have you ever thought Singapore?most locals don't like the cooking line, so more opportunities here for foreigners to become chefs instead.

 

[KiraComplex]

if its on the table, consider america

 

[Sakura94]

I'm happy you're still here.
Is China really that awful?

 

[KiraComplex]

I'm happy you're still here.
Is China really that awful?

you can go to jail just for looking at certain intern sites or commenting bad about the government

also a holocaust is going on there

 

[KleinerWolf]

Have you ever thought Singapore?most locals don't like the cooking line, so more opportunities here for foreigners to become chefs instead.

Singapore is not European per se but less strict than mainland China,

Apart from not allowed to chew gums,
Singapore prohibits jaywalking,
nude at home with open curtain,
and prohibits against same gender sex (I'm straight but sounds like Singapore has some strict laws)

if its on the table, consider america

America no good,
Chinavirus and civil unrest,

hard to get green card too,
More difficult than Australia/New Zealand.

I'm happy you're still here.
Is China really that awful?

Hmm not bad for short term visitors,

but it isn't suitable for a globalised/western lifestyle choices in the long run.

Censorship and lack of freedom one of the major letdowns.

you can go to jail just for looking at certain intern sites or commenting bad about the government

also a holocaust is going on there

People are fine as long as they are not against the government.
Smells like dictatorship.

 

[sadworld]

Come to Germany mein Wolf Freund! Jokes aside, I really hope everything works out for you. Suicide is a really difficult coice... I never went to China but it seems awful from just reading your posts about it...

 

[foxdie]

Ah I'm sorry you have to go back to a place you don't want to go. I'd say come to Canada but our reputation is not as welcoming as the world thinks. I had a friend who got booted back to their home country on a spousal visa and it was really unfair imo. Canada actually had to loosen immigration restrictions when the pandemic hit because we had a shortage of health care and other workers. Effing hypocrites. I wish I could sponsor people but I'm not very reliable given my current state ugh. But maybe it's worth a shot to try here, I think at least baseline it's easier to come here in comparison to some places.

I'm happy to hear you have a plan back in China at least. Seems like you at least accept what you can't change despite how hard it is. I think all these restrictions are BS imo, borders are just constructs of the mind. I'm wishing you the best in wherever life takes you. Stay strong my friend

 

[KleinerWolf]

Come to Germany mein Wolf Freund! Jokes aside, I really hope everything works out for you. Suicide is a really difficult coice... I never went to China but it seems awful from just reading your posts about it...

Thanks sadworld UwU
I will practise German like my life depend on it :D

China is probably not that bad for some people,
but knowing what I know,
I wouldn't want to be there if I have better alternatives.

it's worse than America but in a communist way. Lol

Ah I'm sorry you have to go back to a place you don't want to go. I'd say come to Canada but our reputation is not as welcoming as the world thinks. I had a friend who got booted back to their home country on a spousal visa and it was really unfair imo. Canada actually had to loosen immigration restrictions when the pandemic hit because we had a shortage of health care and other workers. Effing hypocrites. I wish I could sponsor people but I'm not very reliable given my current state ugh. But maybe it's worth a shot to try here, I think at least baseline it's easier to come here in comparison to some places.

I'm happy to hear you have a plan back in China at least. Seems like you at least accept what you can't change despite how hard it is. I think all these restrictions are BS imo, borders are just constructs of the mind. I'm wishing you the best in wherever life takes you. Stay strong my friend

In recent years immigration is tightening.
Glad to hear what it's like from Canadian perspective.

I'll just let the dice roll itself now.

whatever happens happens,
suicide is hard but it's do-able when it's actually needed so I'll be testing my final limit.

but hopefully I'll come across something that works.

 

[Donk]

Gotta admit though, the food is dope! Will you still be able to go on SS?

Have you considered being an English Teacher?

Say hello to Winnie the Pooh for me. All the best in mainland my friend.

 

[Ghost2211]

I'm sorry you have to live where your freedom is restricted, and you feel you don't belong. It sounds like you're formulating a good plan since it allows for life and growth, but also gives you an exit if it doesn't work out. I greatly respect this approach, and it's such a hard thing to do when we're pushed in undesirable directions in life.

 

[KleinerWolf]

Gotta admit though, the food is dope! Will you still be able to go on SS?

Have you considered being an English Teacher?

Say hello to Winnie the Pooh for me. All the best in mainland my friend.

Yeah food is okay,
I'll use a VPN while I'm there.

Tbf I don't think my English is that good to teach someone lol
Teaching English it does not necessarily require a degree in the language but in China people expect you to look a certain way, when it comes to teaching English. The Chinese aid teachers generally don't make much and requires a language degree or certificate of some sort, I'd be better off working as a cook in that case.

not sure how I feel about going back to China,
I kept changing my mind..

 

[greyhound]

My cousin grew up in London, UK but is in Taiwan now learning Chinese. I can understand freedoms are restricted in the mainland but ultimately China is going to own this century, surely there must be a way for you to get in on that action.

 

[KleinerWolf]

My cousin grew up in London, UK but is in Taiwan now learning Chinese. I can understand freedoms are restricted in the mainland but ultimately China is going to own this century, surely there must be a way for you to get in on that action.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

My cousin grew up in London, UK but is in Taiwan now learning Chinese. I can understand freedoms are restricted in the mainland but ultimately China is going to own this century, surely there must be a way for you to get in on that action.

Not trying to be disrespectful but this is not a very good commentary or take. Long story short on china is they were conned by the west. The west got its living standard propped up by cheap labor in china for about 40 years and got to enjoy locally cleaner environments due to deindustrialization at home in the west. The western elite raked in trillions from cheap labor and the middle class in the US got the ability to borrow cheaply (for awhile). Win-win for all involved except younger and future generations. The powers that be in charge of the west are well aware the world is very likely (like 99%) to fall apart due to global warming. The Chinese might own this century but as it goes on there is increasingly little that is worth "owning". The western elite have pulled the biggest con on the chinese public ever and the CCP are complicit. The increasing rollout of mass surveillance is so they can gird from the unrest they known is coming mainly due to global warming. If you notice even the chinese public facing state media is global warming obsessed - they are absolutely terrified of it in a way the west is not because the effects of it are coming for them sooner than they will come to US/UK/EU. Pentagon/NASA have known this for decades and this is all verifiable in mainstream journalism. Ever wonder why CCP was supporting biden? This is per CIA/DNI, not my own opinion. Why would the CCP line up to support biden over trump when they know every minute trump is in office he undermines US credibility with all its key allies and most other countries? The answer is trump gives absolutely 0 fucks about global warming where biden atleast pretends to.

Almost all chinese elite have been moving assets out to the west because they know the game could be up at any minute. This is observable any major city NYC, washington, tokyo, london.... You see almost NO WESTERN or other world elites wanting to move to china due to the combination of abusive political system and limited opportunities.

 

[greyhound]

Not trying to be disrespectful but this is not a very good commentary or take. Long story short on china is they were conned by the west. The west got its living standard propped up by cheap labor in china for about 40 years and got to enjoy locally cleaner environments due to deindustrialization at home in the west. The powers that be in charge of the west are well aware the world is very likely (like 99%) to fall apart due to global warming. The Chinese might own this century but as it goes on there is increasingly little that is worth "owning". The western elite have pulled the biggest con on the chinese public ever and the CCP are complicit. The increasing rollout of mass surveillance is so they can gird from the unrest they known is coming mainly due to global warming. If you notice even the chinese public facing state media is global warming obsessed - they are absolutely terrified of it in a way the west is not because the effects of it are coming for them sooner than they will come to US/UK/EU. Pentagon/NASA have known this for decades and this is all verifiable in mainstream journalism. Ever wonder why CCP was supporting biden? This is per CIA/DNI, not my own opinion. Why would the CCP line up to support biden over trump when they know every minute trump is in office he undermines US credibility with all its key allies and most other countries? The answer is trump gives absolutely 0 fucks about global warming where biden atleast pretends to.

Almost all chinese elite have been moving assets out to the west because they know the game could be up at any minute. This is observable any major city NYC, washington, tokyo, london.... You see almost NO WESTERN or other world elites wanting to move to china due to the combination of abusive political system and limited opportunities.

I agree global warming is going to be very disruptive but I don't think the sky is falling right now for many countries. Some countries will probably end up better off due to it, namely Canada with way more of the country becoming habitable + ice free arctic passage.

China's economy has basically been growing by leaps and bounds and it's already overtaken the US economy in PPP. I have been somewhat skeptical about their ability to choose the right policies without a free press and ability to dissent, but somehow they are making it work.

Yes I live in an area where real estate is dominated by Chinese money that is flowing out. However these people got rich in China. The point is that there is tons of opportunity there which doesn't exist in other places. It's not true that westerners are not trying to access this opportunity, but many of them end up in Hong Kong / Singapore / Taiwan where they can access the Chinese market and still have a more western lifestyle.

OP is basically saying that he is suicidal about going back to the country that's almost certainly going to take center stage in global affairs for at least the rest of our lifetime. Try being somewhere like Bangladesh instead with global warming and China able to cut off your water supply from the Himalayas at will.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

I agree global warming is going to be very disruptive but I don't think the sky is falling right now for many countries. Some countries will probably end up better off due to it, namely Canada with way more of the country becoming habitable + ice free arctic passage.

China's economy has basically been growing by leaps and bounds and it's already overtaken the US economy in PPP. I have been somewhat skeptical about their ability to choose the right policies without a free press and ability to dissent, but somehow they are making it work.

Yes I live in an area where real estate is dominated by Chinese money that is flowing out. However these people got rich in China. The point is that there is tons of opportunity there which doesn't exist in other places. It's not true that westerners are not trying to access this opportunity, but many of them end up in Hong Kong / Singapore / Taiwan where they can access the Chinese market and still have a more western lifestyle.

OP is basically saying that he is suicidal about going back to the country that's almost certainly going to take center stage in global affairs for at least the rest of our lifetime. Try being somewhere like Bangladesh instead with global warming and China able to cut off your water supply from the Himalayas at will.

You are right the chinese periphery is going to be a good place to be for awhile, but the mainland should not be viewed as a desirable locale by anyone. There are even multiple chinese posters on this very forum talking about how they want out mostly for CCP/authoritarian reasons. It is definitely not a place to store assets or wealth. Like you said westerners are looking to make a quick buck off china but they are not looking to locate there. Notice many western billionaires talk up the chinese economy but they do not move their physical persons or families to that locality. China is a wealth extraction mechanism for the world elite including the CCP and nothing more. Pentagon forecasts project major agricultural basins to fail there, and china is not insanely food self sufficient as the US is. They produce almost none of their own oil and they do not have the military infrastructure to go and secure it as the US and Europe do. If you look at the sea level rise projections at 2100, the chinese eastern seaboard is a disaster. The devastation wrought there is going to mean hundreds of millions dislocated, the number for the US east coast will be in the millions.

The real way to determine the future of what is going on in china is watch where their own elites are moving themselves and their families. All rich chinese I know have two, three, or even four passports in addition to their chinese passport. The most preferred are Canadian, HK, UK, US. I cannot recall meeting an individual who was non chinese who sought out chinese citizenship as a hedge against instability in their own country.

 

[KleinerWolf]

Global warming or raising sea level isn't going to happen overnight.
Having assets and more passports certain means people become more flexible.
It's a decision making process that benefit their survival.

Such is the case of evolution,
the stupid ones of a species will die out over time because they make poor decisions.

Natural selection at its finest.

 

[SuicidallyCurious]

Global warming or raising sea level isn't going to happen overnight.
Having assets and more passports certain means people become more flexible.
It's a decision making process that either benefit their survival.

Such is the case of evolution,
the stupid ones of a species will die out over time.

Natural selection at its finest.

The ones to die first are the ones in the vulnerable zones under global warming scenarios. We've already seen millions die as a result of it. I have read your previous posts and you were in an ideal location to try to survive global warming. I think one of the big negatives of being chinese is there really is nowhere within your own country you can flee from it. Maybe in the tibet area you can live, but the rest is going to be smashed by desertification and sea level rise. The climate scenarios available to the US military show something different than what is presented to the general public.Do not read the ones passed as propaganda to the general public -If you believe the IPCC on global warming I can tell you a million reasons why they are bullshitting.