God please make it worse

[qualityOV3Rquantity]

I can deal with this pain, I can endure and that's the problem. It's not bad enough. The physical pain from my chro illness isn't absolute or constant. Please God, take away my periods of relief. Don't let me sleep, don't give me a moment of reprieve. Make it unbearable, make it so much worse that I will finally take the final step and end my life. Don't let me get better, please bring back the horrible pain and multiply it by a thousand times. Make my entire body feel like it's on fire, make my stomach feel like it's folding in on itself. Please fucking make it worse, it isn't bad enough yet. Please please please, I want it to be worse. I need to fucking die and I can't, it isn't bad enough yet. So God, please have mercy on me and make it a thousand times worse. Please.

 

[keymashhhh]

If only we could have enough willpower for this one last thing

 

[Mlifos & Sitoa]

If he exists.

 

[qualityOV3Rquantity]

If only we could have enough willpower for this one last thing

Exactly, I'll never have the willpower as long as it feels like I can endure even a moment longer.

 

[opheliaoveragain]

I can def identify with what you're saying. There are many moments I've been met with where it has been bad enough but SI took over, or else I wouldn't be typing this. I'm so sorry you're suffering like this, it's not fucking fair and SI can go fuck itself (personal opinon)

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

I can deal with this pain, I can endure and that's the problem. It's not bad enough. The physical pain from my chro illness isn't absolute or constant. Please God, take away my periods of relief. Don't let me sleep, don't give me a moment of reprieve. Make it unbearable, make it so much worse that I will finally take the final step and end my life. Don't let me get better, please bring back the horrible pain and multiply it by a thousand times. Make my entire body feel like it's on fire, make my stomach feel like it's folding in on itself. Please fucking make it worse, it isn't bad enough yet. Please please please, I want it to be worse. I need to fucking die and I can't, it isn't bad enough yet. So God, please have mercy on me and make it a thousand times worse. Please.

I need to die also . and I want to die . I don't have the focus, time , discipline , work ethic, and energy to get my plan more reliable . so i'd be taking a risk of failure and brain damage if i fail. but i'm getting tired of just not doing it when i know i need to and want to. hopefully i can get myself to take the risk of failure and do it soon