Made4TV

Made4TV

A hopeless hope junkie
Sep 17, 2018
574
I'm thinking of going again. A year ago I attempted with nitrogen and didn't succeed (not the fault of the method... I've written about it in TiredHorse's excellent nitrogen/exit bag thread). One of the things that caused me to be discovered and rescued was that I did not get rid of my phone before I attempted and gave in to the urge to send 2 thank you texts in the middle of the night to 2 people who turn their phone off at night.

It has now occurred to me that it may be a good barometer for me as a way of knowing if I'm really ready, and really going to go through with it. Sometimes I have a hard time telling the difference between momentary suicide urges and the real deal (because it always feels "lasting and enduring" at the time, no matter which it is).

I have my SN and anti-emetics and know what I'm doing. But when I thought of throwing my phone in a trash can or in the nearby lake tomight as a preparation to ensure success I got cold feet about it.

I'm wondering if other people have something like this...a kind of internal barometer of when they are *really* and truly ready to opt out of this world for good?
 
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PhilosOfDoom

PhilosOfDoom

Experienced
Nov 22, 2019
207
I personally haven't experienced it, but if you're worried about being found out via your phone, just don't send any suspicious texts. You could do scheduled phone texts so that when they see it, it would've been after you died. If you don't do anything sus on your phone, e.g sending goodbye texts, then they can't tell really. If you don't have anything on your phone you mind people seeing, you don't have to destroy it or fully encrypt it and shit. For all they, it's a regular non-suicidal day. Good luck.
 
one4all

one4all

I'll put pennies on your eyes and it will go away.
Feb 3, 2020
3,455
I'm thinking of going again. A year ago I attempted with nitrogen and didn't succeed (not the fault of the method... I've written about it in TiredHorse's excellent nitrogen/exit bag thread). One of the things that caused me to be discovered and rescued was that I did not get rid of my phone before I attempted and gave in to the urge to send 2 thank you texts in the middle of the night to 2 people who turn their phone off at night.

It has now occurred to me that it may be a good barometer for me as a way of knowing if I'm really ready, and really going to go through with it. Sometimes I have a hard time telling the difference between momentary suicide urges and the real deal (because it always feels "lasting and enduring" at the time, no matter which it is).

I have my SN and anti-emetics and know what I'm doing. But when I thought of throwing my phone in a trash can or in the nearby lake tomight as a preparation to ensure success I got cold feet about it.

I'm wondering if other people have something like this...a kind of internal barometer of when they are *really* and truly ready to opt out of this world for good?

Take out the battery and SIM card and toss those some where else :sunglasses:
 
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Made4TV

Made4TV

A hopeless hope junkie
Sep 17, 2018
574
Yeah...but if I think I might not do it and don't want to be out the $, surely that should tell me it's not time? Or am I just being pragmatic and knowing that it may not go as intended (like my previous attempt where I had prepared extensively and did attempt)? Hmmmm
 
one4all

one4all

I'll put pennies on your eyes and it will go away.
Feb 3, 2020
3,455
Yeah...but if I think I might not do it and don't want to be out the $, surely that should tell me it's not time? Or am I just being pragmatic and knowing that it may not go as intended (like my previous attempt where I had prepared extensively and did attempt)? Hmmmm

I think you already answered your own question:wink:
 
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S

s1mplem3

Arcanist
Mar 4, 2020
454
I don't think I gonna throw my phone away. I will listen to music or something else, I'd not really care to leave like that, but I'll erase everything before CTB.
 

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