rotten
Student
- Apr 14, 2021
- 116
Yesterday wasn't the best day. They made me talk about my "life goals" and college. I answered honestly and even tried to seem excited about it. I've been trying to live, I really have been. The fact that I can even talk about goals is major. But obviously this means nothing to them. They just got angry and said coding is for losers who never leave the house. Ok.
I know that whatever I do I'll never be enough for them, but it still hurts. The isolation has been stronger than ever and shows no signs of letting up. I know they'll still treat me like shit and punch me for showing emotion. Yet a part of me is still attached to them in a sick way. Anytime I approach the door, I never have the guts to walk out because I fear what might happen.
Later that evening she beat called him every name in the book. I know he's always been her minion but I couldn't stand to see him so broken down. As much as I hate to admit it, he's a lot like me in an unfortunate way. He hates that this is the life he's been sentenced to. There's no real way out of it....well there's one way. And he screams about it once she tears him up enough.
I would hate to grow old and miserable like this. Everyday things like this replay in my head and god it kills me. I know I'm screwed though because everytime I think of it I need to put a hole in my wall. I miss my apathy.
I know that whatever I do I'll never be enough for them, but it still hurts. The isolation has been stronger than ever and shows no signs of letting up. I know they'll still treat me like shit and punch me for showing emotion. Yet a part of me is still attached to them in a sick way. Anytime I approach the door, I never have the guts to walk out because I fear what might happen.
Later that evening she beat called him every name in the book. I know he's always been her minion but I couldn't stand to see him so broken down. As much as I hate to admit it, he's a lot like me in an unfortunate way. He hates that this is the life he's been sentenced to. There's no real way out of it....well there's one way. And he screams about it once she tears him up enough.
I would hate to grow old and miserable like this. Everyday things like this replay in my head and god it kills me. I know I'm screwed though because everytime I think of it I need to put a hole in my wall. I miss my apathy.