Getting Closer Again

[CannotAnymore]

So my last attempt failed (thanks for nothing SN).... I have the method (gun) which is guaranteed to work but man it's so violent and messy and dramatic... So you know that damn survival instinct. I realized that cannabis was helping keep me off the ledge but my financial situation is worse and so I can't afford it anymore.

I'm ready, I'm done, I'm so tired. Society sucks.... I just don't want to be here anymore. I'm ready to go... I just hate that 'pulling the trigger' lol... is so much harder than I thought.

It's amazing how people can hurt you and carry on with their lives while the trauma of the things they did and words they say haunt you forever.

I'm just ready.. there will be no note... no prep... Just the second I can do it... it's going to be done...

 

[conflagration]

Why SN failed?

 

[CannotAnymore]

Why SN failed?

I don't know... I followed all the instructions... Drank my mix, and went to sleep........ then I woke up like 12 hours later.... Slightly blue in my toes... But should have ended it all... It didn't work and now my brain won't allow me to drink anymore. Like I can't convince my brain to drink it again.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I don't know... I followed all the instructions... Drank my mix, and went to sleep........ then I woke up like 12 hours later.... Slightly blue in my toes... But should have ended it all... It didn't work and now my brain won't allow me to drink anymore. Like I can't convince my brain to drink it again.

Oh shit. I think we all dread that happening to us. I hope you haven't had any side effects? Not surprised you don't want to try it again. Selfishly, this type of thread scares me because it's likely my chosen method.

I'm sorry things are still so bad for you. Life is so unfair. I hope you can find peace, whatever you decide to do.

 

[LaVieEnRose]

It's amazing how people can hurt you and carry on with their lives while the trauma of the things they did and words they say haunt you forever.

It's so maddening.

I'm sorry about the SN failure. I agree that it is rather alarming. Not to doubt your thoroughness, but are you absolutely sure you took enough?

 

[FuneralCry]

It must had been awful going through the failed attempt. The gun does sound like a difficult method to go through with to me, and it also sounds so brutal but at least you have the option for when the time is right for you to leave. I understand feeling so tired of having to endure this life. I wish that it's easier to finally be free from all suffering, more than anything. I hope that you find the freedom that you wish for.

 

[CannotAnymore]

Oh shit. I think we all dread that happening to us. I hope you haven't had any side effects? Not surprised you don't want to try it again. Selfishly, this type of thread scares me because it's likely my chosen method.

I'm sorry things are still so bad for you. Life is so unfair. I hope you can find peace, whatever you decide to do.

Yeah I think mentally it's like it never happened. No side effects, no epiphany, not even a missed call on my phone. No one was worried. No one cares yet my brain is like, no we are not trying that again.

 

[Nirrend]

So my last attempt failed (thanks for nothing SN).... I have the method (gun) which is guaranteed to work but man it's so violent and messy and dramatic... So you know that damn survival instinct. I realized that cannabis was helping keep me off the ledge but my financial situation is worse and so I can't afford it anymore.

I'm ready, I'm done, I'm so tired. Society sucks.... I just don't want to be here anymore. I'm ready to go... I just hate that 'pulling the trigger' lol... is so much harder than I thought.

It's amazing how people can hurt you and carry on with their lives while the trauma of the things they did and words they say haunt you forever.

I'm just ready.. there will be no note... no prep... Just the second I can do it... it's going to be done...

Hi sweet @CannotAnymore

I'm really sorry for what you are going through ❤

Reading you, I feel the urge, anxiety, anger and injustice you feel against life, yourself, society

I know that you already took your decision but know that we're here, don't be ashamed, you've already suffered a lot ❤

Whatever you decide to do, know that we respect your choice

Sending you sincere love ❤❤

 

[Willto]

Oh shit. I think we all dread that happening to us. I hope you haven't had any side effects? Not surprised you don't want to try it again. Selfishly, this type of thread scares me because it's likely my chosen method.

I'm sorry things are still so bad for you. Life is so unfair. I hope you can find peace, whatever you decide to do.

Sure it was a high quality SN?

 

[Forever Sleep]

Sure it was a high quality SN?

I don't know. Felt bad for really grilling them on their procedure at this time. Would be helpful if the OP felt up to sharing at some point... Think SN failures tend to rattle us all.

 

[CannotAnymore]

Sure it was a high quality SN?

I don't know. Felt bad for really grilling them on their procedure at this time. Would be helpful if the OP felt up to sharing at some point... Think SN failures tend to rattle us all.

I think it was that I didn't fast long enough.

 

[Forever Sleep]

I think it was that I didn't fast long enough.

Oh- I'm sorry. Were you sick then? I think that's quite common- even with meto. Guess that's why the second and even third glass mixed is a safety net. It must have been very disorientating to wake up. I'm sorry you had this experience but I'm thankful you don't seem to have any side effects.

 

[CannotAnymore]

Oh- I'm sorry. Were you sick then? I think that's quite common- even with meto. Guess that's why the second and even third glass mixed is a safety net. It must have been very disorientating to wake up. I'm sorry you had this experience but I'm thankful you don't seem to have any side effects.

Nope, didn't throw up. Drank one glass and was on my phone... fell asleep before I took the second glass... My partner was out of town with my dog. Then I just woke up. Was I 'lucky'.. 'unlucky'... I wonder if I measured wrong or if I did something wrong.. I must have... The only thing I can think is that I opened it a few days before...

It was for sure disorienting.. disappointing.. frustrating?? I don't even know.