Getting close

[mk47]

There's a chance I exit next week if everything goes right. It feels so strange. I have to admit I'm a bit anxious and apprehensive about this, but I must go through with it. It would be irrational to keep "living" like this.

 

[Wayfaerer]

are you NEET?

 

[mk47]

are you NEET?

No, I attend university

 

[Wayfaerer]

No, I attend university

Me too. My date won't be until months from now but I'm at the point where there really is no going back. It's a blessing in a way because I can live how I want within my means but it's a curse because months of anticipation. On one hand it is not extreme as I really don't have much other choice but on the other hand it's not something I want at all. It is dreadful to be caught in that trap.

 

[woxihuanni]

What are you going with?

 

[mk47]

What are you going with?

H

 

[mk47]

Shit this is getting too real

 

[woxihuanni]

Shit this is getting too real

Are you scared? I wish you the best outcome for you, hugs

 

[Heart of Ice]

My date is getting closer as well. I'm not anxious right now, but I will be very anxious when the time comes. I wish I had Xanax or something to calm my nerves. Although I have no experience with them.

 

[Hadenuf]

Me to I don't want to go but can't live like I am anymore

 

[mk47]

Me to I don't want to go but can't live like I am anymore

Do you have a date?

 

[Hadenuf]

Do you have a date?

no but I expect it to be in this month

 

[mk47]

no but I expect it to be in this month

I'm here to chat if you want

 

[Rachel74]

I'm here to chat if you want

Tell me to sod off but if you are feeling apprehensive then maybe put it off until you feel more clear.

 

[Hadenuf]

Tell me to sod off but if you are feeling apprehensive then maybe put it off until you feel more clear.

I have been putting it off for a couple of months just unable to live with myself I know the pain my family felt last time I tried but I still think about it everyday

 

[mk47]

Tell me to sod off but if you are feeling apprehensive then maybe put it off until you feel more clear.

Nah I gotta do it

 

[Rachel74]

I'd never try and talk someone out of it but like myself I want to be 110% sure before I do
It.

 

[Hadenuf]

I'd never try and talk someone out of it but like myself I want to be 110% sure before I do
It.

Yeah my apprehension is the pain I leave behind with my wife and boys

 

[Rachel74]

Yeah my apprehension is the pain I leave behind with my wife and boys

That's mine too, partner is already pretty fragile so I just can't.

 

[Hadenuf]

I'd never try and talk someone out of it but like myself I want to be 110% sure before I do
It.

That's mine too, partner is already pretty fragile so I just can't.

I don't want to but struggle everyday with the mess I feel I have caused already

 

[Rachel74]

I don't want to but struggle everyday with the mess I feel I have caused already

I keep saying I'm a burden and I'd be better off dead but it ain't happening.

 

[Hadenuf]

I keep saying I'm a burden and I'd be better off dead but it ain't happening.

yep I feel the same way they keep telling me in not but I know I am still not right everyday I think I should go

 

[Rachel74]

yep I feel the same way they keep telling me in not but I know I am still not right everyday I think I should go

Exactly the same here, it's like a broken record for me. I'm like just let me go!

 

[Hadenuf]

Exactly the same here, it's like a broken record for me. I'm like just let me go!

Well I want to go away from home ruin myself for a day and then go

Well I want to go away from home ruin myself for a day and then go

Fear for my boys and wife dealing with it

 

[dreamsofdestruction]

Isn't it scary? I set a target month too a while ago, rationally. Emotionally I still hoped something would happen that could save me.

But instead it just got worse. Everything seems to be screaming DO IT now. I have everything ready pretty much (actually I wanted to make a post in a method thread about that). It could happen on any day now.

I've kept messing more things up. And recently I've been directly told things that more or less translate to I should kill myself.

It's scary but it has to be done.

 

[Hadenuf]

Isn't it scary? I set a target month too a while ago, rationally. Emotionally I still hoped something would happen that could save me.

But instead it just got worse. Everything seems to be screaming DO IT now. I have everything ready pretty much (actually I wanted to make a post in a method thread about that). It could happen on any day now.

I've kept messing more things up. And recently I've been directly told things that more or less translate to I should kill myself.

It's scary but it has to be done.

I am not in that position everyone is supporting me but I believe I don't deserve life

Isn't it scary? I set a target month too a while ago, rationally. Emotionally I still hoped something would happen that could save me.

But instead it just got worse. Everything seems to be screaming DO IT now. I have everything ready pretty much (actually I wanted to make a post in a method thread about that). It could happen on any day now.

I've kept messing more things up. And recently I've been directly told things that more or less translate to I should kill myself.

It's scary but it has to be done.

how are you doing it

 

[Hadenuf]

Isn't it scary? I set a target month too a while ago, rationally. Emotionally I still hoped something would happen that could save me.

But instead it just got worse. Everything seems to be screaming DO IT now. I have everything ready pretty much (actually I wanted to make a post in a method thread about that). It could happen on any day now.

I've kept messing more things up. And recently I've been directly told things that more or less translate to I should kill myself.

It's scary but it has to be done.

Are you going to do it