annasplight
'too clingy' she says.
- Aug 6, 2024
- 76
I've been told so many times to 'get over' the way my parents treated me. People telling me to detach. I know it sounds childish because I'm twenty, but I want my mom. I want her to tell me she's proud of me. I want her to stop ignoring me most of the time, then using me as a therapist. She tells me of her sex life, her multiple boyfriends, how horrible my dad is, and how ungrateful and clingy I am to her.
I told my mom the other night that I wanted her to talk to me, to spend time with me. We used to do that at least a little bit when we first moved here in April, even though she was still abusive. She proceeded to tell me that 'you're twenty, why are you so clingy towards me? if you want to spend time with me, then schedule it.'
idk. it broke my heart. we had a snowstorm that night, but i just went outside and walked for about twenty minutes. my entire body went numb, and I fell into the snow. For a moment, I did consider just laying there and dying to prove a point. To rid her of another fucking burden.
my friend talked me into going back home, but ever since, I just feel like crying. I feel like nothing even matters anyone. I have no family that cares about me, and I have friends who do not care to check up on me.
Yet my other friend tells me to just 'get over' how my parents have treated me my entire life. all the abuse, the screaming, the manipulation, just get over it? I just don't understand why people tell me i'm complaining too much about my parents, that I need to grow up and get over it.
but they don't get it. they have their parents. they have support systems. they have friends and extended family. of course they just want me to 'get over it'. they don't know what it's like.
I told my mom the other night that I wanted her to talk to me, to spend time with me. We used to do that at least a little bit when we first moved here in April, even though she was still abusive. She proceeded to tell me that 'you're twenty, why are you so clingy towards me? if you want to spend time with me, then schedule it.'
idk. it broke my heart. we had a snowstorm that night, but i just went outside and walked for about twenty minutes. my entire body went numb, and I fell into the snow. For a moment, I did consider just laying there and dying to prove a point. To rid her of another fucking burden.
my friend talked me into going back home, but ever since, I just feel like crying. I feel like nothing even matters anyone. I have no family that cares about me, and I have friends who do not care to check up on me.
Yet my other friend tells me to just 'get over' how my parents have treated me my entire life. all the abuse, the screaming, the manipulation, just get over it? I just don't understand why people tell me i'm complaining too much about my parents, that I need to grow up and get over it.
but they don't get it. they have their parents. they have support systems. they have friends and extended family. of course they just want me to 'get over it'. they don't know what it's like.
