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Sheepgobaa

Sheepgobaa

Member
Aug 23, 2023
9
idk if this post is going to be coherent I just needed to get stuff of my chest feel free to ignore.
I've been seeing a psychiatrist and a psychologist for about 3 months now after my mental health got bad enough to where my family couldn't deny it anymore.
I've also been prescribed zoloft wich I've been taking for a little over a month but I feel as if u almost got worse.
Both my psychiatrist and psychologist give out advice you can find in q buzzfeed article and I don't feel comfortable fully opening up to either of them.
I was in an incredible bad place mentally due to my final exam and college entrance and it feels like all the comfort I managed to build up over the years by just rotting in my room is being forcefully ripped away from me and if I don't follow through with it I'll get endlessly judged for it.
After my final exam was over I was supposed to visit the only actual friend I have but that ended up falling through and now the friendship that made my life slightly less miserable for the past 3 years is crumbling apart.
It feels as if I have nothing except my pet left anymore. The one friend I had is gone, in 2 months I'll be forced to move out of my parents home to go to the big city and live alone and I'm terrified.
I have grown increasingly paranoid that my pet parrot is going to be taken away from me before im able to bring him with me to college. It really feels like a divine force wants to make sure that nothing in my life stays consistent anymore.
I have no idea what I will do with my life after college, I can't imagine a future for myself that isn't pure fantasy and sometimes I feel as if I'm just not meant to live into proper adulthood.
Even if I don't end up ctb-ing I feel like God will make sure I don't live past 25 eitherway, I'm just not meant for it.
 
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Sheepgobaa

Sheepgobaa

Member
Aug 23, 2023
9
What makes you think that?
I'm very emotionally attached to him so I'm very paranoid of potentially loosing him because then I'd be fully alone. And it's just another thing where it feels like something is going to try and take him away from me in some way.
 
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