Gambling addiction leading to CTB + drowning

[Begotten]

Hello,
I've been reading this forum been a few years but today I just decided to join and say something.

I'm a depressed person since I was a teenager and during my life I unsuccessful tried to hang myself twice, since some months ago my suicidal thoughts is haunting me again everyday and my gambling addiction is triggering me to just try it again, yesterday I just lost the money I would use for my rent and everything else I had.

I never saw any beauty in life but the idea of non existence, I always wanted a good and relaxing moment for myself before ctb, such as do it listening my favorite musics and in a comfortable place (that's what I tried last time, was in a good hotel room and had all the time in the world, but SI strongly kicked in while trying to partial hanging)

This time I'll just do it, don't care with the relaxing moment anymore, just wanna do it, since I'm very near the beach, I decided to drown myself, gonna just drink a bit of whisky to get more courage and go as deep I can until I have no chance to come back to the shore since I don't know how to swim. I plan to go at dawn in 5ish hours when there's no one on the beach.

Is it true that after the agony of drowning we feel a moment of extreme calm before pass out ?

 

[mehdone]

As a severe asthmatic, I can say that lack of oxygen causes pure, unadulterated fear and panic. It has certainly never brought me any calm, even when I have passed out from lack of oxygen. When I have aspirated something like water, it has caused a severe coughing fit. I've never drowned, but I wouldn't expect a moment of extreme calm.
If I were to go this route, I would prepare and brace myself for that panic.

 

[Begotten]

As a severe asthmatic, I can say that lack of oxygen causes pure, unadulterated fear and panic. It's certainly never brought me any calm, even when I have passed out from lack of oxygen. When I have aspirated something like water, it has caused a severe coughing fit. I've never drowned, but I wouldn't expect a moment of extreme calm.
If I were to go this route, I would prepare and brace myself for that panic.

Yeah, after some minutes of panic and agony it's all done tho, so after all won't matter that much, thinking that this moment of calm exist just would give me a comforting thought to get stronger to go.

 

[mehdone]

My apologies, I'm not one to sugar coat things.

 

[tpboy]

its rough. i have felt it.

 

[Begotten]

its rough. i have felt it.

Just few more hours until I feel it.

 

[tpboy]

ok, good luck to you my friend.

 

[Begotten]

Thank you brother.

 

[TheDruBo]

Make sure you know if the tide is going in or out. If it's coming in you might be swept back to shore.

 

[lebrodude]

Hypoxia will cause a lack of oxygen to the brain, at this point it's been widely reported of feeling of calm and acceptance right before consciousness is lost.