FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!

[JimFord99]

First post. I myself first became suicidal due to the sudden onset of extreme insomnia a few months ago, when apparently i permanently lost the capacity to sleep for even 1 minute. I mistakenly took Ambien for a couple of months and it helped initially but i was getting addicted and exhibiting classic junkie behavior (i was developing tolerance to the pills, was doctor shopping for prescriptions, having arguments with uncooperative pharmacists, sweats and shivers etc). It was a bizarre experience how i suddenly devolved from "normal" to borderline drug addict in a matter of months, and all of this because my brain one day decided not to sleep anymore.

Terrified of the idea of actually becoming a junkie/homeless/jailed in actual real life i decided to stop Ambien cold turkey and give myself a chance to heal. Quitting Ambien was surprisingly easy to do so but i still cant sleep. Some nights (all nights?) i dont sleep at all, or at least i dont remember doing so. Im still afraid of what the long term implications of this perpetual sleeplessness are for me, or of what other random nasties life could/will throw at me in the future. Maybe a stroke, lower back pain, toothaches, unemployment? It almost feels as if the "reward" for not dying today is dying tomorrow while getting the chance of experiencing new medical problems for yet another day.

Damn, insomnia is a killer. I know. l feel sorry for you.

 

[Ruffian]

Did you try atarax?

It's called Vistiril in the states - it does work sometimes.

 

[Deleted member 1465]

I have had tiny amounts of sleep for over 2 years due to pain polyuria and seizures. Eventually your body tends to make you sleep even if it's a tiny amount.

It's hard to tell what the long term implications have been for me as my health is so bad. Before I took a downturn it made me weak and jumpy, sort of dopey but wired at the same time.

This will sound odd and arrogant but it also appears to have made me more intelligent too! I can now process stuff faster than ever. Everyone else appears to be wading in mental mud to me. Ironic cus I'm so weak I can hardly walk. However this cold also be sleep deprived psychosis.!

My sympathies to my fellow insomniacs.

 

[Egddios]

I believe I read you don't tolerate smoking weed or something to that effect. What about THC edibles and/or beverages? I have a terrible time sleeping and look like an extra from The Walking Dead. What works for me, when I can get it, is a 200mg THC beverage + .5 or 1mg of Klonopin (substitute benzo as needed), 6mg of Prazosin, 100mg of Trazadone, 10mg Amitriptaline. I also have this Lavender spray I got from Whole Foods, it's basically an essential oil Glade spray. I use that pretty liberally in my bedroom - the smell is comforting to me.

I've been hanging on by a thread more so than usual lately, and have unfortunately been taking "generous" doses of Diphenhydramine which I do NOT recommend. I take 250-300mg some nights and yeah, it helps put me to sleep, but the more I read about the side effects of constant use, the worse I feel about taking it.

All this said, I'm at a point where I'm like fuck it, I'll take anything to get some real, solid sleep. I hope you're able to get some sleep soon.

A hug.

 

[N-IsMyHope]

I believe I read you don't tolerate smoking weed or something to that effect. What about THC edibles and/or beverages? I have a terrible time sleeping and look like an extra from The Walking Dead. What works for me, when I can get it, is a 200mg THC beverage + .5 or 1mg of Klonopin (substitute benzo as needed), 6mg of Prazosin, 100mg of Trazadone, 10mg Amitriptaline. I also have this Lavender spray I got from Whole Foods, it's basically an essential oil Glade spray. I use that pretty liberally in my bedroom - the smell is comforting to me.

I've been hanging on by a thread more so than usual lately, and have unfortunately been taking "generous" doses of Diphenhydramine which I do NOT recommend. I take 250-300mg some nights and yeah, it helps put me to sleep, but the more I read about the side effects of constant use, the worse I feel about taking it.

All this said, I'm at a point where I'm like fuck it, I'll take anything to get some real, solid sleep. I hope you're able to get some sleep soon.

A hug.

Wow 300 mg is pretty high dose! If I take that much I'd feel like throwing up. Right now, I am taking every night, 100 mg of Diphenhydramine mixing with 40mg melatonin. plus 1 or 2 Advil. Guarantee the sleep. I will look for Lavender spray on amazon.

 

[I’vehadenough]

Relax
Just start a fight club

 

[Egddios]

Wow 300 mg is pretty high dose! If I take that much I'd feel like throwing up. Right now, I am taking every night, 100 mg of Diphenhydramine mixing with 40mg melatonin. plus 1 or 2 Advil. Guarantee the sleep. I will look for Lavender spray on amazon.

Yeah, I'm not super thrilled I'm taking that much Diphenhydramine lately and don't recommend this route to others. That said, desperate times call for desperate measures in my case. You do what you've got to do.

There's a sub on Reddit for people who take Diphenhydramine recreationally, and some people report doses much higher than what I dabble with. I'm talking 800mg and higher, and they report hallucinations among other things. I don't take DPH to trip, but it's interesting to read other peoples experiences.

I wish there was a sleeping pill I could be prescribed that would really do the job; so far, I've only been prescribed Trazadone and a low dose of Klonopin. Sometimes I think of or try to imagine what it must have been like in the 50's/60's when people were prescribed Barbituates.

 

[Deleted member 1768]

Another three hours of sleep night!!! This is goddamned ass fucking bullshit, even taking a sleeping med did fuck all. This is a slippery slope and the fact I'm having financial problems doesn't help either, I stay offline even so as not to keep myself awake but I still cannot get back to sleep.
Right after I nearly died from meds my thoughts went straight to suicide which wasn't helped by also tapering off a benzo at the same time. This is just fucked, my job is stressful but what can I do? I look sick from not sleeping so finding another job is pretty much impossible..I look like death
Peace/hugs

Bizarre as it may sound Nem. I take 1 Claritin with 1 regular strength gravol and sleep like a baby. The gravol can be addictive so I would recommend taking it every night, but it may be worth trying. Miss you Nem...hugs.

 

[justanotherday]

Another three hours of sleep night!!! This is goddamned ass fucking bullshit, even taking a sleeping med did fuck all. This is a slippery slope and the fact I'm having financial problems doesn't help either, I stay offline even so as not to keep myself awake but I still cannot get back to sleep.
Right after I nearly died from meds my thoughts went straight to suicide which wasn't helped by also tapering off a benzo at the same time. This is just fucked, my job is stressful but what can I do? I look sick from not sleeping so finding another job is pretty much impossible..I look like death
Peace/hugs

I have financial worries too and hard time with jobs. I cannot sleep either, no matter what I take. Sometimes I don't know how I don't just lose my mind . I don't know how I manage to keep my sanity. But, I am so friggin healthy so I just keep on living. If only I had the guts to....!!!

 

[Deleted member 1768]

I have financial worries too and hard time with jobs. I cannot sleep either, no matter what I take. Sometimes I don't know how I don't just lose my mind . I don't know how I manage to keep my sanity. But, I am so friggin healthy so I just keep on living. If only I had the guts to....!!!

Hang in there Nem...I shall mail...with the right address some claritin and gravol. Sleep is sorely needed. Hugs Nem...hang in there.

 

[SuicidalSymphonies]

For all those with sleeping problems, try lavender oil. If you symptoms are not too severe the scent of lavender sends you to sleep.

Yes, great idea. I used to only sleep with fresh lavender my step grandmother used to to grow.

 

[eve2004]

Everyone's tolerance to different drugs are different, but if you're gonna go with diphen and benzos, having some grapefruit might potentiate the effects of the pills. Worked for me for a bit till I got tired of eating (and peeling) grapefruit. Mineola oranges have the same effect apparently, and probably taste better. No guarantees but high doses of diphen give me RLS which is more irritating than plain insomnia and I have limited access to prescription benzos (I get one weeks supply at a time) but those work really well for me in higher than prescribed doses.

 

[Rachel74]

Everyone's tolerance to different drugs are different, but if you're gonna go with diphen and benzos, having some grapefruit might potentiate the effects of the pills. Worked for me for a bit till I got tired of eating (and peeling) grapefruit. Mineola oranges have the same effect apparently, and probably taste better. No guarantees but high doses of diphen give me RLS which is more irritating than plain insomnia and I have limited access to prescription benzos (I get one weeks supply at a time) but those work really well for me in higher than prescribed doses.

RLS is evil. Magnesium helps with that x

 

[eve2004]

RLS is evil. Magnesium helps with that x

Good to know! Heading to the pharmacy to get some today then.

 

[Rachel74]

Good to know! Heading to the pharmacy to get some today then.

It was either that or chop my legs off. Magnesium worked for me. Good luck xx