Discussion Frying my brain

[etheral]

I'm curious if someone else is doing or experiencing something similar.

I live alone and work from home so there's no one to talk to for most of my day(s). I have pretty much no friends and often go days without any human contact, just by myself.

Because of this I need to have something keeping my mind busy at all times. I have videos or podcasts running on my speaker when I'm doing chores, endlessly scrolling social media to numb my feelings, even have something running in the background when I'm playing video games or reading a book.

I know as soon as I stop it and let my thoughts run freely it usually turns dark quickly. I realize it especially at night when I'm trying to sleep. Even then I need to have smth in the background like rain sounds, white noise etc.

It feels weird realizing how much I've gotten used to keeping myself distracted. It also makes me wonder if this causes or amplifies things like derealization which I'm experiencing quite regularly.
Almost like I've managed to trap my brain in a sort of cage to prevent it from harming itself, myself. Pretty eerie.

 

[nintendo64]

I do this too. I'm constantly trying to keep myself busy with anything and often stay awake for as long as I can and drink until I just pass out from exhaustion so I don't have to be alone with my thoughts for even a second.

 

[violetforever]

u distract yourself from solitude and i wish to have total solitude. let's trade. i like being alone with my thoughts actually. it's other people who cause problems and drive me crazy.

 

[SomewhereNew]

I smoke game or sleep that's about it

 

[Worndown]

You need to leave the house.
Go outside, do something.
They called it cabin fever.

 

[killawithme]

I'm curious if someone else is doing or experiencing something similar.

I live alone and work from home so there's no one to talk to for most of my day(s). I have pretty much no friends and often go days without any human contact, just by myself.

Because of this I need to have something keeping my mind busy at all times. I have videos or podcasts running on my speaker when I'm doing chores, endlessly scrolling social media to numb my feelings, even have something running in the background when I'm playing video games or reading a book.

I know as soon as I stop it and let my thoughts run freely it usually turns dark quickly. I realize it especially at night when I'm trying to sleep. Even then I need to have smth in the background like rain sounds, white noise etc.

It feels weird realizing how much I've gotten used to keeping myself distracted. It also makes me wonder if this causes or amplifies things like derealization which I'm experiencing quite regularly.
Almost like I've managed to trap my brain in a sort of cage to prevent it from harming itself, myself. Pretty eerie.

Social media can be the worst for mental health, especially doomscrolling, but no worries, I experience this too. It's like you're trapped in a cage when you start. Hours pass. I have also tried to quit a lot, but I only managed to bring it back to like 15 videos a day. Still proud of myself, though. Back then I watched at least 200 videos (shorts).

 

[etheral]

You need to leave the house.
Go outside, do something.
They called it cabin fever.

I do go outside, although not that much. I feel it's less about being stuck inside than it is about being lonely. Sadly going outside has not improved that.

Social media can be the worst for mental health, especially doomscrolling, but no worries, I experience this too. It's like you're trapped in a cage when you start. Hours pass. I have also tried to quit a lot, but I only managed to bring it back to like 15 videos a day. Still proud of myself, though. Back then I watched at least 200 videos (shorts).

I'm glad you could manage it, I hope I can do the same eventually. I'm sure your brain will thank you for it.

u distract yourself from solitude and i wish to have total solitude. let's trade. i like being alone with my thoughts actually. it's other people who cause problems and drive me crazy.

I feel you, used to be similar for me. Now that I've maneuvered myself into this position I wish I could get back out…

 

[TrashStarCrazy]

I smoke game or sleep that's about it

Similar boat.

Trying to talk to others makes me feel like they hate me. Feeling like they hate me makes me hate them even more. bc of this I spend all of the time I possibly can inside & alone.

When I first started smoking, it did seem to quiet my constant rumination, but I've smoked so much that it no longer makes me feel better. In fact it makes me feel terrible and depressed, I've noticed my health suffering, but I still continue.

I hope things work out.