Friendship with a borderline woman - any advices?

[noname223]

I am in this clinic. And I get the feeling 80% of the women there have borderline. Literally every woman at my table has borderline. I got pretty close friend with one. She is lesbian and in a relationship. She seems to be capable of handling her illness to an extent in order to maintain a two year long relationship and some friendships.

But more and more do I realize there might develop a co-dependency between us. I once experienced something like that and the result was disastrous. A family argument started and one of my relatives died. I am pretty desperate and lonely. I crave for such a deep exchange. But I have the feeling this will end very bad.

We both leave the clinic soon. I think our contact will become way less because of that. But we are texting daily.

Do you have any advices for me? Shall I avoid her in the first place. I think I need to set boundaries but I am not sure whether I have that ability.

 

[noname223]

Bump

 

[Angst Filled Fuck Up]

In this particular instance you are likely in the clear since she's a lesbian and there isn't any real chance of forming a romantic relationship. If she manages her condition well and you keep her at arm's length, it'll be fine. You can still have a good friendship. BPD people like familiarity and routine with their people, and they don't handle rejection well. So bear that in mind and you should be okay. Let her down gently if you decide to stop communicating - like maybe don't cut it off right away, but dial it down gradually so she doesn't get triggered.

If you're only texting and it isn't too intense then I don't see the harm. And of course you can meet up sometimes or whatever. BPD is only really an issue when there's a mismatch in expectations within the relationship, I think. But since it's strictly platonic and you both seem to want the same thing out of it, it could well be okay.