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dreaming

dreaming

sleepy
Feb 11, 2026
44
sorry for any typos or whatever I'm tired af while posting this.

is anyone part of a friend group but doesn't really feel like they're friends with anyone there?

personal vent + example:
I don't consider any of them my friends, but there's this group of people I talk to routinely, sometimes we play videogames and stuff, but I still feel like such an outsider, whenever I interact with them it feels one-sided.

not a single one of them remembered or acknowledged my birthday, one of theirs was today(or yesterday technically, I haven't slept yet) and they wanted me to do stuff with them for some reason despite this person and I having 0 connection they're constantly saying things like "you're so distant now"(I always was distant, ig I was more playful when I was like a middle schooler, like, obviously, even though I was still depressed then and suffering from the same mental illness I still am now) and wanted me to join them on VRChat of all things(I do not like VRChat).
so in short they don't remember my birthday then expect me to do things I hate for theirs.
so bc of social obligations I just joined anyway, had nothing better to do ig even though I kinda hate that game and would have rather been watching something but the anime site I used got shutdown literally the same day. but now I'm so exhausted, and my voice feels dead from so much talking even though I really said very little.

maybe I'm just a terrible person for not even having any empathy for them on their birthday, idk ig I had a little since I joined their dumb vrchat game instead of just sleeping or something like I would have liked.

ranting too much, should probably leave it there(I could literally go on so long about how I feel like a babysitter for people who are all at least 1 year older than me bc I'm the youngest one there but maybe I should leave that for another thread.

anyone else have to deal with a "friend" group of people that you're not really friends with anyone?

I kinda just want to stop showing up one day, they're so tiring, but I hate feeling alone idk.
present, but not really a part of anything with them.
 

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