
Sisyphus
Member
- Jul 26, 2021
- 70
I feel like I am forced to CTB because it's not possible for me to work due to my physical and mental problems that I have been suffering with for 20 years. All this time I was going to doctors and trying to recover, but the truth is that I was never successful enough to live by myself.
Now my way of living is coming to an end and I face being homeless and alone, and I know I cannot take that. Even being in a relatively comfortable position like I am right now I was not doing well.
If only I could work and keep a job I know I could live and even be successful because everybody tells me that I am capable and intelligent and I graduated with honors from college and seemingly did everything right. Still, I have this monkey on my back. No matter what I do, it seems I can make no changes in my situation, so I am left hopeless and considering CTB.
Everybody tells me I should not CTB, but then again they offer no solutions. It feels like every day I get further from the solution and closer to death, and it scares me. I scare myself with the way I speak and think, but I see no other option.
Now my way of living is coming to an end and I face being homeless and alone, and I know I cannot take that. Even being in a relatively comfortable position like I am right now I was not doing well.
If only I could work and keep a job I know I could live and even be successful because everybody tells me that I am capable and intelligent and I graduated with honors from college and seemingly did everything right. Still, I have this monkey on my back. No matter what I do, it seems I can make no changes in my situation, so I am left hopeless and considering CTB.
Everybody tells me I should not CTB, but then again they offer no solutions. It feels like every day I get further from the solution and closer to death, and it scares me. I scare myself with the way I speak and think, but I see no other option.