For the love of a princess....or death

[Seaghost]

There's me: A guy who's trapped in life. Wants to go. To be free
There's she: A human child. Far away. Not reachable for me but came into my life like a supernova impact.

I don't get it. I don't understand it. I didn't want it!


There was a time in last july I just tryed to survive. Survive body pain and summer heat.
Livin in a people sharing apartment can be quite funny. As long as no one of the other brings in a human you can't withdraw.
I didn't want those feelings anymore. It almost distroyed my heart in last life.
But it came like it should be in an cheesy movie. From one moment to the other I got the whole feeling company like when you're in first love.
I wasn't able to fight this strong feelings. It seems Armor shoots a whole battery of love arrows into me.

I got the phone number of that lovly human.
Writing every day over weeks. Been there for her birthday.
There were some magical moments between us. Some moments you don't need to speak. You can see it in the eyes of somebody. Speaking without language.



She tells me there a feelings on her side but she don't want it. I'm to far away.
I tried hard to keep going on. Writing, speaking, speaking, writing.

It's not easy to get her trust. But with every day it feels like I'm coming closer to her heart.
My gut feeling normally see whats right and genuine.

Now she's got a fight with herself what to tell me and what not. Just so as not to hurt me.

Yesterday I talked to her again. We made fun of each other like an old couple.
I'm sorry can't translate the rest of that. My feelings are takin' me over….
I told her I need a break for a couple of days cause of my feelings gettin more and more. She said it's ok. She didn't want to hurt me.

Now I',m feeling like I can't get my drugs.
But which is it? Love, SN? N? Something other?

My heart can't stand that anymore….
Im tattered and empty.

Maybe Braveheart OST will help my mind.

 

[GoodPersonEffed]

There's she: A human child.

?

 

[Seaghost]

I'm sorry. I couldn't get a better translation.
In german it means "Menschenkind" which is a tender discription for a lovely human.

 

[almost_dead]

lovely

 

[Seaghost]

Can't sleep. Its already noon here.
Tried to read, surfing or hearing music.
My head only can one thing: Spinning around this one human.

No higher being answer my questions.
Why did I met her?
Whats the meaning of this?
Why I'm not allowed to go??

 

[Seaghost]

Standing on a mountain far away. Watching my thoughts.
They're whispering I m not allowed to be on earth. Searching for destiny but the darkness remain silent.
It's ok. It's a known living...na...surviving.
It's not ok to "send" me an special person, sat her down in front of my face and don't allow me to be near to her.
Armored glass is between us.

Why have the universe to make fun of us?

 

[Seaghost]

Time goes by. Tic toc tic toc.
Now in autaumn its gettin darker the more speed the clock`s kickin...
It would be nice if december would be the last one but the feelings for this person makes me liv...surviving.

I know in this situation its some kind of infantile but I hope Cyberpunk pulls me in another direction for a few days. Helps to emoty my head maybe