• New TOR Mirror: suicidffbey666ur5gspccbcw2zc7yoat34wbybqa3b
    oei6bysflbvqd.onion

  • Hey Guest,

    If you want to donate, we have a thread with updated donation options here at this link: About Donations

Iris Blue

Iris Blue

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-
Oct 23, 2023
172
So I've been diagnosed with OCD for a decent amount of years now and one symptom in particular that is a huge pain in the ass is obsessive thinking.

Anyways, how does that affect you and your suicidal feelings? Are you like me and:

-Have never ending thoughts about it all day everyday
-Spend as much time as you can planning and replanning on how to die
-Feeling so much worse because of your suicidal needs with your OCD

Or am I just crazy and everyone is like this OCD or not?
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: anhedonya, astonishedturnip and Ash
hermestrimegistus

hermestrimegistus

Specialist
Sep 16, 2023
340
The worst part for me is probably intrusive thoughts. And then the endless loop of thinking about not thinking about it. Sometimes I wish I could unplug my brain. Literally haunted by thought patterns
 
  • Like
  • Love
Reactions: anhedonya and _Minsk
Iris Blue

Iris Blue

-ˋˏ ༻❁༺ ˎˊ-
Oct 23, 2023
172
The worst part for me is probably intrusive thoughts. And then the endless loop of thinking about not thinking about it. Sometimes I wish I could unplug my brain. Literally haunted by thought patterns
Yea there was a time for me a few months ago where I think I was emotionally numb and I had no thoughts or feelings of wanting to die. But instead of enjoying no longer constantly thinking about wanting to die I was just constantly thinking about why I don't constantly think about wanting to die anymore. But it wore off in less than a week so we are back to the usual.
 
  • Love
Reactions: anhedonya
Silent_cries

Silent_cries

I wish I could delete my trauma...
Aug 10, 2021
981
The worst part for me is probably intrusive thoughts. And then the endless loop of thinking about not thinking about it. Sometimes I wish I could unplug my brain. Literally haunted by thought patterns
This is how I feel no easy at all I no write normal now because ocd I no talk irl either I feel un-free I need help I'm seeing a doctor today and need to be able to talk this is very no funny
 
  • Love
Reactions: anhedonya
astonishedturnip

astonishedturnip

Like Christine Chubbuck, but sadder
Jan 16, 2024
190
I'm the same way. It's just awful. Literally no way to stop the intrusive thoughts and loops and they happen as soon as I wake up.
 
  • Love
Reactions: anhedonya
H

Hotsackage

Elementalist
Mar 11, 2019
844
My brain obsessed about crap I don't even care about, and yes I've done that before
 
  • Hugs
Reactions: anhedonya
anhedonya

anhedonya

Use common sense!
Apr 14, 2024
159
I definitely get what you mean. Not a moment goes by where I'm not thinking about it unless I'm obsessing about something else. It used to be really bad to the point where I couldn't sit down on certain places because it felt contaminated and I couldn't go outside without taking a shower before AND after, which only further isolated me. Nowadays it focuses a lot on repetitive little tasks. I have to turn the cold water knob into a closed state 3 times then 1 extra just to be sure but it creates this awful buzzing in my brain even when I do. A bunch of little things like that which spill into my planning. I have to check AirBNB's multiple times a day and reload 3+1 on the tabs that have outdoor pools. If they have cameras facing the outdoor pools then I add that home owner to my mental
blacklist.

I do all of this and more every single day. It used to be so much worse and take up a LOT of my time but nowadays I feel that, since it's not as "brain buzzing" bad as it could be, I should just go ahead with the compulsions to satisfy my brain.

At least we're in the same looping boat lol
 

Similar threads

FERAL_FRENZY
Replies
3
Views
126
Offtopic
CTB Dream
CTB Dream
B
Replies
1
Views
183
Recovery
maneose
maneose
M
Replies
11
Views
153
Recovery
jarik
jarik
pretzelsandballoons
Replies
0
Views
118
Suicide Discussion
pretzelsandballoons
pretzelsandballoons
loslassen
Replies
0
Views
84
Suicide Discussion
loslassen
loslassen