Flashbacks of homophobia

[Ash]

Not really sure what to write as my head doesn't feel screwed on properly but this morning I keep getting flashbacks to the targeted homophobia I experienced last year, and I'm starting to wonder if that's continuing this year from someone else but in a different way (silent treatment). It's also triggering the homophobic violence and abuse and threats I've experienced in the past.

I'm trying to hold things together and not make an impulsive suicide attempt as I've done that already in the last week and like I always say to people on here, it doesn't work. But I have self harmed already this morning and it's only ten o'clock.

I know I've just got to ride it out, that never mind what one part of my brain is telling me, that these are memories not current events but part of what's getting to me is the lack of understanding from other people. None of the LGBTQ+ people I know have experienced anything directly in years and straight people are sympathetic but don't and can't understand the fear of wondering if the person who looks at you for too long in the shop is going to say something, maybe in the car park where it's quiet.

Just hoping there's someone on here who understands.

 

[UKscotty]

People pretend to be supportive and many wear flags... but in my experience, homophobia is just as rife as 20 years ago. When there is no one gay is around, people talk how they really feel, and its far from supportive. Maybe not violence but definitely not accepting and welcoming.

 

[Worndown]

Well, it is an election year and that does not always bring kindness and understanding.
I hope you get spared this.

 

[Iloveher]

I met people who said "I have nothing against gay people as long as they dont hit on me" Same people would hit on females and get angry if they got rejected which is the irony of their hypocrisy.
I am straight but I think gay people make better friends than straight people. A gay person will always be more loyal and more open minded than a straight person. A gay person will understand you better if youre fighting depression and suicidal thoughts

 

[astr4]

it sounds terrifying and paranoia-inducing. i'm sorry that you're dealing with this. people need to get over themselves and realize what we do as consenting adults in the bedroom is no one else's business.

 

[RejectMetamorphosis]

Not really sure what to write as my head doesn't feel screwed on properly but this morning I keep getting flashbacks to the targeted homophobia I experienced last year, and I'm starting to wonder if that's continuing this year from someone else but in a different way (silent treatment). It's also triggering the homophobic violence and abuse and threats I've experienced in the past.

I'm trying to hold things together and not make an impulsive suicide attempt as I've done that already in the last week and like I always say to people on here, it doesn't work. But I have self harmed already this morning and it's only ten o'clock.

I know I've just got to ride it out, that never mind what one part of my brain is telling me, that these are memories not current events but part of what's getting to me is the lack of understanding from other people. None of the LGBTQ+ people I know have experienced anything directly in years and straight people are sympathetic but don't and can't understand the fear of wondering if the person who looks at you for too long in the shop is going to say something, maybe in the car park where it's quiet.

Just hoping there's someone on here who understands.

sorry that you have to deal with the homophobic bigots :( people shuld rlly learn how to mind their own business

 

[Minsu]

I feel you. My home country isn't very open for queer people and it makes me sad bc I can't feel myself there. I have to pretend that I'm straight there and it's pretty energy demanding..