SoulWhisperer
Careless Soul « MtF »
- Nov 13, 2023
- 81
Let's start off by saying that I have lost basically any hope in life and the only way out I can see is this. I've been postponing all my problems in life, saying "If I am goke first I won't have to deal with them after'". I know it may sound stupid, but I have given up on everything. I still have some time left.
Does anyone have any advice on how to prepare myself mentally, emotionally, psychologically or anything for CTB?
I have gotten over the possible aftermath of my action so morality isn't an issue here. What if I fear is that when the day will come I would have just not enough courage to carry it over or fear too much for the "physical damage" as I'm low-key very afraid of the pain/experience I'll feel. I hope it won't be an otherworldly painful experience as I have never underwent any catastrophic event in my life that would have injured me heavily.
I wonder if ruining my life on purpose, with all my might, once I'm close to the day, would drive me to a level of madness/despair strong enough to suppress my lucidity/sanity,
Does anyone have any advice on how to prepare myself mentally, emotionally, psychologically or anything for CTB?
I have gotten over the possible aftermath of my action so morality isn't an issue here. What if I fear is that when the day will come I would have just not enough courage to carry it over or fear too much for the "physical damage" as I'm low-key very afraid of the pain/experience I'll feel. I hope it won't be an otherworldly painful experience as I have never underwent any catastrophic event in my life that would have injured me heavily.
I wonder if ruining my life on purpose, with all my might, once I'm close to the day, would drive me to a level of madness/despair strong enough to suppress my lucidity/sanity,